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Hi everyone. I'm thirteen, and I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and self-harm on and off for a long time now. I really want to stop, but nothing seems to work.
I cut because it relieves stress, I like the sight of blood, and it's a way to punish myself for being stupid. I feel like it's the only thing keeping me from suicide.
Speaking of suicide, I think about that a lot. But it is only a thought now, and I haven't acted on it yet.
I have two counselors and do not like either of them. I have been trying to convince my mom to let me try something else or see a different counselor because they aren't helping. But she always says it is helping and I just don't realize it. (No, that isn't true. I don't like them and they do not help me!!)
I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to or someone to understand me. The only person who is actually helping is my girlfriend. Not my counselors or anyone else.
The other thing that concerns me is how to hide the scars . . . are there any other ways to hide them other than wearing a sweatshirt all the time? I tried using bracelets and concealer, but those don't cover them up well enough.
I guess what I'm asking is, what else can I try to stop myself from cutting and also stop thinking about suicide? And how can I cover up the scars?
Thank you! (link)
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I'm glad you're actually seeking help. You should sit down and have a talk with your mom. Don't beg or cry or anything, just be simple and real and explain that you really believe they aren't helping you make any progress and you really want to try someone new.
You won't stop thinking about suicide or cutting without professional help so you need to make sure you get it.
As for trying to keep it in control for yourself in the mean time, here are some of my suggestions..
-Exercise. Any kind of exercise you enjoy. Dance, bike rides, running, go the gym, sports, anything. It releases stress better than cutting ever will and on top of that, it's good for you.
-I don't know if you're creative or like art. But it's a good way to express your feelings. Drawing, ceramics, painting, ect.
-Write in a journal. It helps to get it all out and you start feeling better rather than keeping it inside and taking it out on yourself.
-Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Maybe take a warm bath with bubbles, listen to nice music, give yourself a mani/pedi, give yourself a facial, things like that.
-Take a new hobby.
-Go out with friends.
-Keep your hands busy.
-Plan activities during your most difficult time of the day.
-When you get sad, make yourself some treats, get into bed and watch some shows.
-Remind yourself that you don't want scars.
Just remember that cutting is impulsive. You'll only be wanting to do it in short bursts of time. Also, you're in control. Remember that.
Ice cubes help as an alternative to cutting.
I don't really know any way to cover up the scars though. Possibly foundation? I'd invest in some scar remover. It helps with scars that aren't very deep.
Just make sure you talk to your mom.
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