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(20yr old female)
I like a guy (Kevin). I have been talking to him for a couple of years now, though I never met him in person yet. It has been inconvenient to meet with him, and I have parents who are trying very much to protect me and dont allow me to meet with guys at all (unless they have met him and have gotten to know him).
I am in a relationship with a guy (Qua'Nell). He has been my friend for a while and has always hoped for a more than friend relationship with me. He is really sweet. I have hung out with him without my parents knowing, and eventually we arranged for him to come over to meet my parents, which he did.
I am going out with him because for a period of time I had thought that Kevin didnt like me anymore and was avoiding talking to me. So I told Qua'Nell about how I was sad about that. And he seemed he was waiting for a similar opportunity so that some other guy wouldnt be keeping me from being with him.
I like him alot as a friend, and I have felt some romantic feelings toward him and we kissed when we hung out; so I decided to say yes to him asking if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend now. I thought it would be best to move on and not dwell on Kevin, and I thought being in a relationship with Qua'Nell would make me happy.
But, like, the next day after I said yes to Qua'nell, Kevin texts me and apologizes for not getting back to me sooner. I told him I felt like he didnt like me much anymore, and he said that was not the case.
So now I know that the guy I rreally want does also want me still... but I am in a relationship with Qua'Nell, and he is such a sweetheart and I would hate to hurt him with a break-up. I want to see Kevin and I think we could do that soon, but it would be wrong. And I'm not sure if my friendship with Qua'Nell will be preserved after I break up with him.... Or maybe it would be wrong to even talk to him while I'm with Kevin.....
What should I do and how should I do it...?? (link)
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In my own opinion, I'd stay with your current boyfriend. If you do have feelings for him and he cares about you, then why leave him for some guy you haven't met yet. You have known him for awhile but what if when you do meet this guy, he's not all he's cut out to be?
Then you lost your relationship with this nice guy and the other guy is a jerk?
That's not always the case but you never know what happens.
This is all your choice though. If you really don't want to be with this guy, then don't be with him.
I hope everything works out for you!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for your advice. I don't know what to do about the compelling feeling thats drawing me to Kevin though. If I never knew Kevin, I would be more happy with Qua'Nell.
But Kevin has attributes about his personality that isn't like any other guy I know and I am very attracted to that. With Qua'Nell,.. I like him because he's sweet and I'm comfortable with him and we can talk about anything and we laugh together; because of the way our friendship was before the romantic relationship. But when I think about my relationship with him I feel like something is lacking.
Kevin is intellectual and intriguing and he has had an anxiety condition, like myself, which he has gotten over by now; but he understands what its like from first-hand experience. He likes music I like, and he has more refined interests and appreciation for things with depth as opposed to the more superficial. He is wise, and knowledgable, and knows what its like to feel different, as I do, and I feel like there is a meaningful connection between us.
I feel like it's something I have to resolve because I won't be able to fully love anyone else until I have gotten to actually spend time with Kevin; that way I will know what it was like and no longer have to be stuck in a "what if" type state. My heart can't relax until I know for sure that we will work out or not.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...lol
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