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Q: 17 f
im sorry if its a little long its a long story but i would apreciate it if u guys read the whole thing. ok so about a month ago i met a really cute 20 yea old guy. he asked me to hang out alot of times but i wasnt able to. this saturday night i was able to and we met up at his house. i asked my sister (whose 20 yrs old also) to take me. so she took me and i was at his house just talking we did makeout like once and by the time i got home i was already totally hooked on this guy. he seemed like a good guy. so sunday rolled around and he asked me to hang out and i brought my sister and cousins. we went bowling then to a cafe. i was really nervous and never spoke muh but i noticed him and my sister spoke alot and my ousin even told her that he might like her. in the end the date was horrible me and him barely spoke i got mad and didnt even bother speaking to him. when i got home i felt bad and called him he said it was ok and i thanked hm for paying for bowling and the dinner. so the next day (morning) my sister told me that she didnt trust him at all, he looked like a player and he had 80 something unread messages on his phone. he was also really paranoid about it and didnt want anyone seeing it. i found that weird and knew i couldnt trust. ok so monday my sister goes out says its with her friends and i stay home. i texted the guy (nate) and called him he didnt answer. my sister gets home with a hickey. i asked her where she got it from she said it was her ex. which they still talk and im pretty sure she still has feelings for him.(her ex).next day one of nates friends whose very nice called me and said did you know where your sister was last night? i asked her she said it wasnt what i was thinking. she said her and my cousin (whose 24) made a plan to see if they can trust him. she said he had texted her that night and asked her to hang out and she said she went to see how far he would go. and that she was only trying to protect me.she said to forgive her and that they went to watch a movie as friends and he invited her inside then tap kissed her and started giving her a hickey she said she got mad and left. and my older cousin (whose very protective of me) said not to tell me anything becuase they wanted to tell me together about nate. heres what i dont understand. that night she told me to lets make a plan but i said NO becuase i didnt want to find out atleast not now if he was a player. they went behind my back and did this trick yes offcourse im never talking to him again but what do i do about her? everytime i look at her i see them making out. thats not right she knew how much i liked him.i knew he couldnt be trusted and yes it hurts becuase i really liked him but i am more hurt becuase of my sister. she said she was only trying to protect her and to forgive her she didnt mean for it to go that far but once he was so close she couldnt stop. she admitted to being wrong and asked for forgiveness. i cant. i dont find it in my heart right now to forgiv her i feel betryaed, eventhough she said she was trying to help me. i was sos tupid i was the one trying to help me get rid of that hickey so my parents dont see it. i have t admitt when she got home she started crying, and was paranoid. i dotn know why she did this she was my best friend and was always there for me. i didnt want to know if he was a player atelast not now, and not this way. i cant stop crying all i can think about is them making out. and her hickey. this wasmonday night and that hickey is still there and she said it was like a 3 sec thing and she knew she was doing wrong and left. but she is a little dark skin that hickey wouldve nevr been that bad, if it was 3secs would it have? should i forgive her? i feel so desperate betrayed i spoke to my cousin she said that they were only trying to help me. i can get that image out o my head though. im crying as im typing this sorry i just needed to let it all out. please help? i spoke to my cousin she said that they were planning on telling me together on thursday, thats why my sister didnt say anything to me. i told my sis you couldve gone and made the plan but as soon as he was leaning in to kiss you you shouldve backed off. she keeps apologizing and saying everyone makes mistake. but she keeps saying shes not sorry for doing the plan becuase she didnt want me to be hurt in the end. well how does she think i feel now? its worse now becuase its her she meant everything to me. .
hey there.
well first and foremost, i'm sorry to hear that something like this has happened to you. i'm not one to judge so please don't take any of this the wrong way.
first, i'm not saying age matters when it comes to being with someone, but him being 20 and you being 17 isnt something one usually comes across. guys around that age can either be responsible or reckless. if reckless & they start seeing someone a lot younger than them, they're usually not serious, just in it to do stuff. but again let me say before anybody starts bashing me on here, i'm not one to judge & no, when it comes to age in a relationship, it really shouldnt matter as long as we're not being ridiculous.

second, i've seen something similar like this happen to someone close to me and to be honest, its usually never what they say they were going to do. in your case your sister says she was gonna tell you together with your cousin but from what i read, it doesnt seem likely that they would've. if your sister really cared about how you felt about this guy she wouldnt go behind your back & do something like that. it seems as if she was too afriad to tell you upfront b/c she knew youd disagree w/ it and therefore letting herself have her own time with nate. i'm sorry to have to tell you this but esp with the hickey part...yeah if its still there 4 days later theres no way he had his mouth on her neck for just 3 seconds. it seems as though your sister wanted to hang out with him w/o you & didnt tell you b/c of your feelings toward him. i'm sorry to say.

what to do now...well its not likely that your sister is gonna tell you what her real intentions were so just tell her to leave you alone about it. you have every right to be angry and dont need her or anyone to convince you something that doesnt seem true at all. something like this can only get better with time & patience. busy yourself so that its not constantly on your mind. do things that'll make you happy. time heals and changes people. you need your own time & not to put up with her or anything related to it. its always good to forgive and put the past behind you, but it never happens right away.
i hope you feel better. let it all out. and with time you'll know what to do. good luck.

Thankyou so much for reading the whole thing. Eventhough I do have to dissagree with some of the things u said. My sister is usually not one to do that. We are very close, and things like this usually doesn't happen. I'm gonna eventually forgive her. Thankyou so much again.

bio
GingerSpice
Hello my name is Gina. I'm 21-years-old
and would love to help anyone out.
A little about me: I've been married since I was 18 and have been to hell and back to keep this marriage together. But the only thing that has truely kept us together is our love....and a LOT of work. We have a son who is just a few months old whom I LOVE SO MUCH!

I am honest & blunt in my advice giving, and will probably tell you what you dont wanna hear.....Life isn't easy folks.

I look forward to helping anyone who needs it so please, ask away!

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