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18/f. I just had sex for the first time with my boyfriend of 4 months. And he knows this, but when I was younger, I was raped. Several times. By my older brother. and that's caused havoc with my love life, like you wouldn't even know. I just shut down for no apparent reason, I just get really scared and I don't know how to deal with it and it's so frustrating. and It hasn't been that huge of a problem, I'm fine with everything, we can have sex and I'm fine, but when we hit third base, I just can't do it. I can't give him head, I go into a nervous break down and I can't bring myself to do it. and yesterday he tried eatting me out, and I was okay at first, but just looking down and seeing him sent me into this horrible flashback and I can't let him do it. It just freaks me out too bad. I don't think this is normal, but does anybody else have anything like this? How do I make it go away? I want to be intimate with my boyfriend, and this is severally barring it. Thanks so much...
Sincerally, 3rd base horror
Does your boyfriend understand what is going on and how is he dealing with it? Sit down and talk with him and see where you two are in this point of the relationship. Sex is a big step and both partners have to be on the same page as to where each other stand and what makes either of you comfortable.
To a point I do understand where you are coming from and it was hard to tell the parents. But I think it was the best thing because now it's all out and I don't shut down anymore. And you probably wont either. It could help with you and your boyfriend being intimate. It's not your fault that it happened and although you may feel like it is and your parents may blame you. They wont. Your brother was in the wrong you were an innocent little girl. It is normal that you feel uncomfortable with the oral sex because it is going to remind you of the moment. But like I said if you tell your parents things might get better for you.
I hope my advice helped you hunny and if it didn't let me know okay. I don't want to give bad advice. ♥ good luck!
(Rating: 5) aw...thank you so much..