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Hi, I'm 16/f and I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over a year. I'm not considered “popular” at school or anything, but pretty much everyone in my grade knows Mark and I are going out. And we're like "the cutest couple." I'm a perfectionist (yes, I admit it :-P) and the club I'm in after school (which my boyfriend is also in) is going to Disney World in a couple of weeks. Which should be a really fun vacation for us ...he and I aren't big on PDA so that is not a concern.
But what the concern IS is that I started taking this new class this year, which my boyfriend is not in, and I met this really nice guy who is totally different from my boyfriend... he wears really expensive clothes (I wear, like, KOHL's!) and he looks I guess gangsta (hat backwards, hoodie, etc.) yet he is a really nice person. As soon as I started liking him a little, I confronted my boyfriend (who I can really trust) and he said "it's that guy with the fancy clothes, isn't it?" and I started to tear up. I don't want to like Josh (we'll call him) because I've been going out with Mark for so long, but I just wanted to be honest with my boyfriend. We decided to stay together for Disney at least because we just want to be the happiest we can be. And I truly can’t wait to go, though there are other issues such as my ex being at Disney as well, who still loves me, and my best friend (a guy) who admitted last year to having loved me for years. I'm extremely flattered as you might be able to imagine, but it's also stressful because I feel like every move I make has the potential to hurt someone. I feel like going after Josh will just be too much, since I’ve already got three guys’ feelings to worry about. I try to make sure each of them is happy. Leaving my boyfriend and going after Josh might be a lost cause, however, because Josh might not like me back and then I’ve gone and lost my boyfriend (though he might take me back, however I did that to my ex and, I don’t know, it’s just awkward. I feel bad looking back on it, having probably made him feel like the rebound.)
So my questions to you are:
What should I do about my crush on Josh? Should I leave Mark…and crush his heart (Mark called me, crying, the night of the day I told him about my crush on Josh (a couple of nights ago)…he is a very sweet boy and I still love him, but I know I can’t have feelings for two people at once without being honest…this isn’t The Bachelorette, or anything. It’s real life. But don’t worry, I wasn’t that blunt with him!)
I am scared to be single, because I have not been since I was 12 years old (mind you, Mark is only my second boyfriend…every one has been a long relationship. I don’t know if I’d be able to handle a hook-up (not the intercourse kind of hook-up, just making out), though my mind sometimes toys with the idea of doing that with Josh…)
I guess you’d call me insecure, but I just don’t know how to be without knowing there’s someone who loves me close by. At the moment, my heart skips a beat when I’m working on projects with Josh…but I don’t think he likes me back and I don’t want to cause sorrow for anyone, including me.
Thank you so much for reading all of my story, and I look forward to your honest responses. :-) (link)
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Your boyfriend sounds like a very sweet and nice guy. He doesn't deserve to have his girlfriend crushing on another guy hurting him. You know he doesn't want to lose you. Nothing is wrong with being single. Although since you've always been with a guy it might be hard for a little. I think its time to split since your heart isn't fully with your boyfriend. Or maybe you could take a break to sort out your feelings and get them in line and see how you feel about these guys. You also sound like a nice girl since you care if you hurt someone. But right now it might hurt him and at times your gonna be hurt too. Your hurting yourself right now because of your mixed feelings. Just take some time to sit and think about how you feel about this guy Josh. It might be just a crush. You never really know until you think about how this is gonna turn out. Try talking more to this guy Josh because he may not have the same feelings in return. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you! I hope it works out too...it's hard to figure out fully how I feel
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