Hi I'm Jeannie.I would love to help you with any questions you may have, so feel free to ask, no question I would ever consider stupid or embarassing so don't worry. Also, I am a college student, and I have been through a few things, so if you would like my opinion just ask, if not then please specify. And remember that you are beautiful no matter what you feel or what you are going through. :)
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Occupation: student
Age: 18
Member Since: June 25, 2008
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Well, I usually don't like to complain, but maybe someone wants to listen and possibly help. I'm 16 and I'm just going through a semi depressive state at the moment. I feel moderately insecure; it's like I always have to prove myself to myself, because I want to be someone but I have no idea who I am supposed to be. I always hear that one has to "be themselves" but being myself has gotten me into this strange state in my adolescence and if I don't do something different, how will I ever leave this state? And because I constantly want to change something about myself, I kind of feel like a poser/wannabe type person. I'm not sure if others see me this way though because mostly I stay out of people's way. I'm pretty friendly actually. My best friend is a great person, but she is a bit disconnected from my struggle. She has a lot on her own plate to deal with. Other than her, my only other friends attend a different school. I see them every so often, but they all have their own lives and over the years, we've developed different interests, ideas, and points of views.
Still, I yearning for someone to rescue me from this monotonous way of life that I've developed. So, at the start of this school year I decided I should go on a hunt for a crush because he might make life fun again. Well I found him and all, and we were getting along great, but then I blew it due to my awkwardness/insecurities. I pretty much scared him away. I'd be scared of me too. Now I like this new guy, but am deathly scared to interact with him for fear of scaring him as I did with the previous dude. But we have a lot in common, me and this guy, and I know that if we just talked normally, he'd possibly want to be my friend. He definitely knows who I am and all, but I refuse to be the one to start talking first.
I do have good intentions and am extremely intelligent(sorry if I'm boasting here) but I am not too good at making connections with people. I do love people though! And I love life and even death. But, aghhh who can I connect with? My brother and I can go on all night discussing theories of the universe and existence, but I want someone my own age. Maybe I'm just selfish and I need to get a life, but is it too much to ask for? No one that I know really knows how I'm feeling because I don't like to annoy people with my petty problems, but I wish I had someone to talk to, instead of spending my weekends in my room comparing my life to Radiohead songs all day. Can someone, especially the adults, shed some words of wisdom or something, ANYTHING, that might help?! Thanks guys :) (link)
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Honestly the only person who can save you from your monotonous way of life is yourself. When you are down and feel like your 50 feet under thats when you find who you are. When you are depressed and upset and don't know who to lean on to help you, you learn of your inner strength. What the heck does that mean? It means that when say something doesn't go right and you feel like a mess, you look for reasons to live and be happy. You basically find what makes you happy,for instance, whether it be a sport like surfing, that works for me b/c it is such a rush and when I am on a wave I feel like I am on top of the world. Another thing is acting, I love putting myself into other peoples shoes, b/c I feel like I can be anyone I want to be. Does that make sense? I understand where you are coming from, it is hard when people say just be yourself, its like um...mkay how? I understand that, and to tell you the truth, I don't fully know who I am yet, but I am becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin everyday. I did that by making my own decisions and basing my life on what I want from it. If I go to parties I don't feel the need to drink just b/c everyone else is, I know alcohol doesn't work for me, and thats okay.
And I highly doubt you will annoy ppl with your problems, I love listening to people so if you would ever like to talk aboutlife or highschool or even religion, write back to me with your email, and we can keep in touch about things. I honestly don't mind listening at all. I promise.
And as for the religion thing, God is what keeps me in balance.He truly is what keeps me alive, He is the one that has pulled me from my depression and pain. I cannot make you believe something that you may not feel, which is why you need to talk to your mother about your faith and religion. I am sure she'll listen and help you find a better way of understanding. Thats the thing about faith is that we don't always understand it and that makes it hard to believe at times, but it is okay if we fail every now and again, b/c we are human and entitled to mistakes, and God does understand that.
And if you don't want to eat meat, then don't eat meat. Talk to your parents about it, and develop a healthy eating plan that doesn't involve meat.
Everything will work out for the best, as they say, this too shall pass.
Good luck with everything and if you want to talk, just let me know :)
~Jeannie
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Rating: 5
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Thanks Jeannie, you've really been a big help. I think you are right about finding something you love and using that as an inspiration and source of fulfillment. Like yesterday, I told my mom I wanted to buy some fabric and I ended up spending all day making a dress. Afterwards, I felt really good. And I like acting too! At school I'm in drama and finding that I like it more and more everyday. And writing makes me happy too. :) Slowly, I think I'll find out more and more who I am and right now I'm just trying to love myself. Because you've helped me realize that I am different than other people, but instead of hating myself for it, I should love all the unique things about me. And I think I should be more open to my parents about how I feel and hopefully they'll understand my beliefs. Thanks again Jeannie, you're great.
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