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My friend is driving me nuts. Every day she calls to complain about her 15-year-old daughter. She spent the last two years trying to transform the girl from a quiet tomboy into Miss Popularity... and she's obsessed with her daughter getting a boyfriend. She's forced her to wear makeup and jewelry and dye her hair and wear certain clothes, and she made her try out for cheerleading, even though the girl didn't want to. She restricts her diet so she won't get "fat", and makes the girl work out and run three miles every day.
Up until recently, she'd complain to me about the fights they'd have when her daughter resisted these things. But she's finally gotten what she wanted - the girl has been completely transformed - and now she's complaining about that!
Now the girl is just as obsessed with boys and popularity as the mother is. She's gone from being a straight-A student to failing several classes. The counselor has advised her to drop down to an easier schedule, but the mother won't do it because there are boys she likes in those classes and the girl would "throw a fit."
Instead of making her stay home and study, she lets her go out every night - god forbid she should miss a social event and a chance to increase her popularity! So mom stays home and does her homework for her... if she can figure out what it is. The girl never writes down her assignments, because she can't see the board. Does she wear her glasses, I ask? Oh, no! She'd never do that - they make her look ugly! Can she ask the teacher to let her sit closer to the board? Oh, no! She likes the friends she's sitting by! So mom goes online each night, finds the assignments and does the work so her daughter can go mingle with boys. On the few occassions that she's tried to make her stay home and study, the girl threw such a fit that the mom "had" to give in or she'd make her life miserable.
She won't make the girl take any responsibility... yet she calls me every day, whining about how the poor thing is doing so badly in school, how mouthy and belligernet she's become - and how she can't do anything about it!
I'm getting so sick of hearing about this. And I'd love to knock some sense into her and say, "Can't you see that this is all your fault!?? Is pimping off your daughter really that important to you??" But I usually just sit and listen, because I can't think of a nice way to say it.
Do you think I should say something? I doubt she'd listen, but it's really hard keeping my mouth shut! (link)
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First try and talk to her. Don't go and scream and yell, just tell her. I wouldn't be able to hear this lady talk about this girl. If she doesn't listen, which she probably won't, don't talk to her. Sooner or later she will get that message. If not then there isn't much you can do. You don't live with them and you can't change what that girls mom does to her. So I hope everything works out for you and good luck.
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