Website:
♥michélle♥Gender:
FemaleLocation:
GermanyOccupation:
life ;)Age:
16Member Since:
March 14, 2008Answers:
181Last Update:
February 16, 2009Visitors:
11526Favorite Columnists
DangerNerd
LOL_x0x
DefinedEyes
soundslikepink
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Fashion and Styles
View All
about
advice
I'm 18 and I really need advice.
When I was 15 years old I met a guy (he was 16 at the time) and I thought he was really gross because he was always hooking up with all these girls. He tried to start talking to me and he had kissed me once and he kept telling me he liked me but he didn't want a g/f. I told him that he just wasn't my type and I was over the games. After I said that he asked me to give him a week to get rid of all his hook ups that he had. I wasn't exactly going to hold my breath. Sure enough though exactly one week later he asked me out. Now, me being so young and NEVER having a boyfriend before I thought that was really sweet...
The guy was into a lot of bad things. Like being sexually active, drinking, smoking, and his friends were just as bad and rude. But I really wanted to fit in and I wanted him to really like me and have my fairy tale ending.
He was very manipulative but because I was only 15 I didn't notice it. I thought he loved me a lot...
We dated for over 8 months and then he broke up with me. Then for 6 months after that he kept leading me on asking me to wait for him and I kept going back to him. Well, finally we stopped talking, but I was always hearing stories about the mean stuff he would say about me to his friends.
He told me that he never really loved me and that I was only a bet between him and his friend that I never liked and always called me names to my face.
Anyway, it's been about a year since all of this has blown over but just 4 days ago he turns up in my life again. He told me he was sorry because he knows how I feel now because some girl broke his heart that he was madly in love with and bought her a ring and everything for. He claims he doesn't remember how bad he treated me and would "love to hang out with me and not have any tension between us" and I saw him at a store two days ago and I just wanted to hit him.
The thing I need advice on guys is, why am I still so hurt after it being about a year or so? I usually never hold grudges against people, I forgive pretty easily I think and I don't like the feelings I am getting about him. I am such a happy person when he is not around but anytime he shows up in my life I think of all the things he told me and how I gave myself up to him and how I truly cared for him, how stupid I feel, and how much I think he is a bad person for knowing I was so young and unaware but still used me for a bet with his friends who ACTUALLY paid him. He promised me he'd never tell anyone... He promised me and told me a lot of things that he didn't mean and I'm so sad, hurt, angry, and upset. But I want to move on... I just need help. I feel like such an idiot for not seeing how bad he was... And I feel so alone.
And I'm not sure if this matters but, I was home schooled since 4th grade. So, yeah it is very different for me and wanting to fit in and knowing what's "normal" for people my age. And I did sleep with him but not because I wanted to. I wanted to wait til marriage and I haven't had a bf since this guy and I don't want to be with another guy again because I'm so scared he'll do the same thing to me. I want to wait til I'm married I just want this feeling to go away. I'm sorry that this is so long but I can't talk about this with anyone else and it's a lot to carry. I'm just still so upset with my self, him, and everything. And like I said, not only am I still angry with him. But I haven't been in a relationship since because anytime a guy tires to get close to me, I mess things up because I'm too scared to be with any guy. Can anyone help me at all? Am I completely crazy? (Oh and please no being rude okay? I already regret things enough. I'm really looking for some good advice and guidance here...)
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!! im in the same situation as you are except that he was 2 years older than me and that im trying to date other guys as i guess you can say a way of relief, like someone actually cares about me- you know? but as soon as someone tells me they love me, i get scared and i want to end things.
what im trying to say is that how youre feeling is perfectlt normal because he played with your emotions and hurt you. you have a right to be upset!
if you wouldnt be upset, youd probaly be treated as a hoe.
but hey, give the guy another chance--maybe he changed ince another girl broke his heart. if he tries anything you can immediately cut off all communication.
i hope i helped, and if you need anything else, inbox me =]
(Rating: 5) Thank you for your input and letting me know it's okay to be upset. As far as giving him another chance as a friend I've tired and him and I just have nothing in common and he's just still too rude to me... But I can see where your coming from thank you.