|
|
Okay, this is really long but I'm in desperate need of help so please take 5 min to help me.
I'm 16/f and I screwed up big time and it took me too long to realize what I've done. Long story short, I've really hurt my family by lying to them, deceiving them, and hiding things from them since 8th grade (and right now is the summer after 10th grade). I realized that I need to get myself together and stop doing whatever I want to do without thinking that there won't be any consequences. I told my mom I was sorry over a million times. I wrote her a front and back 3 page note telling her the things I realized & the way things are going to be and that I'll change not just for the family but for myself as well. But I've done that in the past without really meaning it and my mom completely ignored the note and is still really mad at me. And to make things worse, she and my dad are fighting because of me, well not the root cause but the triggering factor is me.
I don't know what else I can do to make up to her. A sorry and doing household chores isn't working. I am going to cut off all connections from people who haven't been the best influences in my life and people that I snuck out with resulting in me hurting my parents.
Also, my mom strongly believes (which means that no matter what, I won't be able to convince her otherwise) that I am taking ballet and became a vegetarian because of a girl (who she despises) made me do so. As silly as that sounds, this whole big fight is mainly over that one girl. But the problem is that I've wanted to take ballet for 5 years now and the only reason I didn't was because of money problems. And I wanted to be a vegetarian since 8th grade because of the animal cruelty and the fact that I don't and never really liked meat in the first place. And this is all before I met that girl. But I can't convince my mom of that so I was planning to tell her that if it hurts her so much and causes her so much troubles, I'll give up ballet and take ballroom dance with a guy that my mom adores and wishes I'd go out with or take jazz classes instead (I need some kind of dancing for school) & I was going to give up my vegetarianism (as much as the thought of me eating meat makes me nauseous) which means that I'll eat whatever she cooks even if it has meat or animal broth in it but does not mean that I'll be eating meat/chicken/fish chunks out of the dishes (which I'm afraid to add on because she might think that I really don't mean giving up my vegetarianism).
This is how serious I am about wanting to fix all the problems I made. I really am passionate about ballet and vegetarianism. I know that I can't fix it in one day or anything but what else can I do?
I really am sorry, perhaps more sorry than anyone can ever be. I want to change and become a better person and stop causing my family so much problems but it's getting harder and harder. I miss my mom's voice and her laugh and her hugs and I just want things to go back to better times. I don't know what to do.
I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but at the same time I think your parents need to relent just a bit. You've been really mature in doing all you can to change, and I think one of the best things you did was write your mom that note. I'm not sure what happened in the past that has hurt your family, but I think showing this much maturity when you're only 16 is a big step. Most of the people I know didn't start acting rebellious until that age.
If you want my honest opinion, I really don't think you should give up ballet or being a vegetarian. You're passionate about both and giving them up will just depress you. And what if that still doesn't change your parents minds? Then they'll be upset as well as you. You can tell her that you'd be willing to give them up if need be, but I think that if that still doesn't convince her you shouldn't even bother. Try to make them happy in other ways (maybe by befriending that boy you mentioned) and doing other things she might have mentioned in passing, but don't give up on what you believe in or are passionate about. And in reference to the ballet, maybe also try stressing how it's not only something you like but also fulfills a requirement you need.
If only they could see how willing you are to make them happy like we can, maybe they'd understand. I just think that they're being too stubborn about this. You've been doing all you can, I think it's time for them to be mature and realize that.
I really hope everything works out for you =)
[view]
(Rating: 5)
Thanks =)
I haven't gotten around to talking about vegetarianism with my mom (and I think I'll save it as a last resort/until absolutely necessary kind of thing)
I talked about the dance thing with the boy and she kind of turned it down because it was too expensive and I told her that I couldn't dance at the regular dance school but the place the boy was taking his dance thing has other dance classes. I told my mom that I really love and enjoy ballet but if she really hates me taking it so much, I'll take some other dance. She never said a definite answer to that so we'll see if I end up being able to continue with ballet or if I'll have to switch to jazz or modern dance.
| |
