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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
15/f
Okay so there is this boy lets call him S. Well last year i kinda feel hard for him. And not just infatuation, but love. I had told him once how i felt. We always hung out. And he came to my house once or twice. One night last year i asked S to come to the movies with me, he said "Ill see what I could do" so i was like hes prolly not gonna come but Ill go with my friends anyways. But on my way out of the movie theather I saw him walking in with some other girl lets call her A. Well he looked surprised to see me, but i just walked away and never talked to him until this year. But that night and the next day he called me about five times, although now he tells me that he wasnt guily about nothing, but why would he call me like that? But tonight we were talking and the subject of sex came up, and now he is with A. he was talking about there sex life, and i jut cut him off like i really dont wanna hear about yall. He was like why? its not like anything went on between us. I said Yeah that sucks. Then he focussed on what I had said. He was like what did you mean by that. I said nothing. He was like oh you wanted to do shit like that. I was like naw but I wanted to be more than just friends you know. And he was like I didnt know you liked me like that when i had told him before. I was like yeah, I wouldve done anything for or with you back then I was in love with you, and I hated you for wat you did to me. He was like oh well I think we should have sex. I was like no thats alright, you get it from your girl everynight. He said but its not you. I didnt understand what he meant by that. I mean I still love him, even though I wouldnt let anyone know it. But i wanna know if he likes me or ever did. Like I would have sex with him but like not just come out and say it. Like i wanna tell him to come pick me up by his self cause I got a surprise for him. Do you think Im setting my self up for trouble or what?
Sorry so long, its just Ive been through so much with him lol, theres way more butt this is the important things :] thank you
I'm not really sure what he gleaned from your "yeah that sucks". Maybe he thinks that you feel bad that he's not getting any, so figures you wouldn't then mind giving him some. In any case, I was not there.
However, something that is very clear is that he is confused, and he is using you. When you told him that before, when you loved him, you would have done anything for him - unfortunately this guy is extremely horny, so "anything" translated to "anything with my body" which translated to "sex."
To him, having sex with you would be a bonus, it would be making up for all the times he could have had sex with you. Careful, though. This means exactly what it means. For him it means: "Sweet! Sex with two chicks at once!". It doesn't mean he'll love you. It doesn't mean he'll break up with A. It doesn't mean that he'll start thinking about you "in that way".
Basically, he would have sex from you wanting one thing (a no-strings-attached hook up), and you would be wanting another (you love him). This rarely ends well. You're best bet at a relationship with S would be to tell him, "I'm not comfortable having sex with you if you're still seeing A. I like you, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you. Call me back if/when you guys break up."
Otherwise, you will be used, the girlfriend will be hurt if she finds out, and he'll get all the benefits with you without ever loving you or wanting to be with you. Kinda sucks.
(Rating: 5) thank you a lot you really helped!