Member Since:
February 13, 2007Answers:
449Last Update:
January 2, 2012Visitors:
30577Favorite Columnists
Razhie
orphans
HectorJr
Daimeera
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
View All
about
I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
I like this guy in my school, and we've been flirting and talking on and off since September. When I first met him, I was single, and he had a girlfriend. But then when we started becoming friends and stuff he was single and I had a boyfriend.
Well Me and him would talk and stuff and he'd call me and in class we'd flirt. But we'd keep it on the downlow sort of cause I had a boyfriend and we were just friends. Well me and my ex broke up around November. And I hung out with the guy on my bestfriends birthdayy, and we kissed that night. But we still kept it as friend, but still now flirting more, meeting up between classes and we'd kiss. But we've never taken it further than kisses. And on Christmas eve he came and he hung out with me and my bestfriend and he met my mom. And on CHRISTMAS he met my dad, and he hung out with me.
Then after christmas break I started night school and he would take me. He didn't like that I smoked, but I haven't smoked since he told me he didn't like it. Well but lately it's been so weird like he hasn't really tried talking to me. We don't really talk on the phone as much. He never calls me anymore, only when I'm not in class. In school if I don't say Hi he doesn't either. But then yesterday He went to my class JUST to say hi, and whatever we were playing around and he play hit me, and i went to walk away & he grabbed me and hugged me and kissed my cheek and then when he said bye he winked. And I'm just terrible confused cause I know he's playing games and I realllllllllly don't know what to doooo!?!? HELLP PLEASE? Does he like me? Am I too on it? Should I inform him one last time? Tell me please.
He likes you. In fact, before you go on about what to do and being confused, I'm going to tell you what you probably already (subconsciously perhaps?) know. There is no real "what should I do now" because, to be honest, there is no "how do I get into a relationship with this guy" because you are already in a relationship. The trick is now to open up your eyes and realize it.
He already is acting like your boyfriend with the kissing and the calling and the walking you places. That's really all boyfriends are, anyway, friends with the kissing, the flirting and - well now all you really need is the commitment.
As for the calling, I wouldn't worry so much. Likely there's no real serious reason why he hasn't called you. It may be along the lines of realizing you're not technically together, or maybe you've never called him back so he's getting lazy. Whatever. Not all boyfriends call everyday, either.
Regardless, it's pretty obvious of what you should do. If you haven't already, you've got to ask him in some way or other if he'd like to start dating you. It doesn't even have to be smooth. The typical "Do you want to go out friday night" works too, just as long as there's something about it. Once on said date, you could say something like you've liked him for a while, and you want to know how he feels. Likely, the whole thing, after the flirting and kissing and whatnot, would be something overdue and second nature.
If it's true that he's playing games, you being really upfront about how you feel would at least clear it up on his end. You tell him how you feel, watch his reaction, and take it from there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Edit:~~~~~~~
Based on your feedback, I'd say that he seems like a very confused member of the male species. He likes you but then decides you aren't good enough/acts immature.
You have a few options in this case.
1. You could continue on your current course, hoping he would be less confusing in the long run and in general being slightly miserable with the whole thing.
2. Be up front. Be pushy. Tell him, "look, I don't want you to kiss me or lead me on if you don't want to date me. You know I like you. This hasn't changed. But I'm not going to kiss you or hang out with you if you aren't happy being with me as I am." Or say it in your own words. Or simply ask him out, very clearly on a date, and if he says no, just stop kissing with him/ flirting with him/ hanging out with him.
I would advise the second option. Yes, you may "lose" him, but really, if he's going to be that immature about everything, he deserves to be ditched. "You're too ghetto" is a really REALLY dumb reason not to date someone.
(Rating: 5) I've asked him before if he liked me, and that why did he lead me on. Thenn He told me I was to ghetto and that he didn't like that I smoked. And I kept asking him how I was ghetto and we moved past that and he told me the fact that I smoked was what really bothered him, how do I ask him again? Without pushing so much?