junebug93's advice column

I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.

Check out my forum here:

http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589

to post/comment on a topic =]

advice

ok i really really hope my friend doesnt see this . . .

ok by the way ! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THE ADVICED I ASKED BEFORE THIS !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok i have a friend and she is very friendly, crazy, out spoken, LoVes pizza and candy !! like seriously ! and out of no where she'd be all "PIZZA ROLLAS !" or "CANDY !!!" with a very childish voice .

its annoying to me but i can 'bear' it . . . (?

shes is very smart and is easily ticklish and i always hangout with her . . .

this might sound mean but whenever i see her face i just want to SLAP it really badly cuz she annoys me 24/7

sometimes she doesnt know her limits to her immature childish like behaviour .

the number of us girls is 5 and we call our selves the 4 blind Azns + Glessy .. (its + glessy because she isnt blind [doesnt have glasses] !)

anyways~
we have days called 'Confession Days' so we can say what we could when we couldnt about each other. . . and we only do them on special occasions like birthdays or holidays . . today was suppose to be one but we ended up canceling soo we are doing one this coming up monday . . .and i was going to tell my friend about this but she is very fragile and i dont know how to tell her . . .

no matter how much i want to beat her up .
she is still one of my best friends .
but i really want to tell her so that she can at least know her limits to her behaviour and save the annoyingness for the rest of us whom feel this way .

i think my other friend feels the way i do about her .
but she is pretty much straight forward and dont hesitate because she knows that my friends will just laugh it off and propbably feel bad when she gets home . . .

soo waddya think ?
answer this one !

please and thx !^^

V(O.O)V

Are you the one that just asked the question about having a best friend who didn't know how to handle you because you had suddenly started acting immature?

If so, it's extremely ironic that you should also ask this question, because that's probably how your old friend felt about you!

But that's not to say that I'm judging you, dear, it's just that everyone has amounts of strange behavior of different types that we can and cannot tolerate.

As for this friend, it's probably not fair to tell her to "change" necessarily. Think of how you felt when you had to. The best thing may be (perhaps at this next "confession") to suggest that you also hang out with other people... Not to say that you'd be "leaving" the group, but is there any way you can spend less time with this one friend?

People who go through these phases eventually outgrow them, though it takes time (I'd give it a year, a year and a half). It may be that said friend perceives the entire focus of your group is to act crazy, and this is said friend's way of doing so.

The next time your friend does something you are annoyed by, you can either make a joke of being annoyed by it, jokingly call her weird, or learn to deal. Part of learning to deal may be to see her less. It's okay to do this, really it is. I have a bunch of friends that went through phases where they were intensely... well like your friend, so I stopped eating lunch with them. Now, they've both become much more mature, and we're still friends, not in the eat lunch together all the time way, but you know, if I had stuck around with them all of the time then our friendship probably would have suffered as a result.

So yes. Those are your options. But while you are "dealing" with this, you may want to do a little self-check: why are you so self conscious about her being childish in the first place??

*EDIT*

Sorry for the assumption that you wrote that question. You referred to a question you had asked before, and I assumed it was that one because of the similar writing styles...

But anyway.

I'm saying that you trying to change her behavior may not necessarily be the best move. I know you think that it's for the good of society/herself/ect., but in most situations, trying to change someone does more harm than good.

Here's the link to the question I was referring to before: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=529337

now how would you feel being put into her shoes?

If all things considered, you still feel justified to say something, probably the best way to do so would be "Sometimes it annoys me when you _____". Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements.

You can't make someone grow up, but you can change people through example. And, of course, growing up, even through you being more mature to influence her, takes time. If you really want to slap her, spending some time with other people may make her more bearable.

[view]

(Rating: 3) thx for the adivce but i dont think you really get it . . . the question>>"why are you so self conscious about her being childish in the first place??" i dont rly get it but . . to me it doesnt really matter to me whether she is childish or not . because whats makes her the way she is, is why we all love her .

im just asking,
how am i supposed to tell her to learn her limits to her behaviour.

im not like my dad.
i will never be as bluntly as he is.

i want to tell her to know her limits, so that she can mature from her '5' year old self (i mean she is the youngest out of all of us)!

and i am not the person who asked this question

|
|
|
V
V
V

(Are you the one that just asked the question about having a best friend who didn't know how to handle you because you had suddenly started acting immature? If so, it's extremely ironic that you should also ask this question, because that's probably how your old friend felt about you! But that's not to say that I'm judging you, dear, it's just that everyone has amounts of strange behavior of different types that we can and cannot tolerate. As for this friend, it's probably not fair to tell her to "change" necessarily. Think of how you felt when you had to.)

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>