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advice
Hi i'm 14/f
There is this boy that i absolutely love he is just so nice and great in every single way he really likes me too he even said he loves me in person.
I'm a really like 'good' girl and i'm asian so you know how family is like really important and you can't get a boyfriend you can only get married once your 25 or whatever.
I really want to go out with him and i know this realationship will last but i hate going behind my parents back but i really love him what do i do?
Thank you so so much
A good way to jump over the "you can't date until you're (insert age that gets bigger as you get closer and closer to reaching it)" hurdle is to get parents accustomed to a guy you like. This can be done in simple ways, like bringing him over to your house with a bunch of friends, as though he is merely someone you hang out with. Basically, you know that if you bring a guy over and say "hi, mom, dad, I want you to meet so and so. He's my boyfriend." you will be entering unchartered, potentially hostile territory. Them seeing you with a group of friends that includes said boy won't be anything new, special, and uncomfortable, as well, it's not behind anyone's back.
From there you gradually decrease the size of people invited to these get together things, or go out to, say, a movie with a group of people that, once again, includes him.
From there you carefully judge your parent's reaction. At this point they may or may not suspect that you like said boy. To judge properly, you leak out the information that you may like one of your friends, and see the response. If they don't seem to care, you're clear. If they give the "no dating" speech, you've got some work to do. If they don't seem to care, you mention going out one on one with guy you like. Actually, you could probably do this anyway, if they don't get suspicious and you don't tell them anything; you could be like, "yeah I'm going to meet so and so at the mall/park/whatever", and since they know him as one of your friends, you're in the clear.
If they're sortof lukewarm towards the whole thing, you could explain dating as you going out with a group of people somewhere that includes the guy, as something out in the open and public. this version of "dating" they are likely to agree to. Now, if you wanted to see this guy alone, you meet the friends briefly, then part ways for a while, meet them up again. Or something along those lines. Nothing that really breaches parental trust, and lots of time spent dating.
Have fun and Good luck =]
(Rating: 5) thank you so much and for taking the time to write this