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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
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advice
I'm 14/f and recently my cousin was trying to get me to go out with this dude. And frankly, he doesn't seem to interest me at all. So this somehow ended up with me having until Thursday to choose whether or not to go with him. I was thinking of trying to get a person who I actually like during this time. Which means I need some way to socialize more. Or another way to get out of it is breaking it to the dude that I don't like him, and I have no idea how to do that without sounding like a...bitch. lol. So which should I do? Or is there another alternative? And whatever I do, is there any advice on how to make it happen with a positive outcome?
Getting a guy just to not have to date a guy you don't like is fairly unfair to the guy you'll have to find in the span of a few days, and you'll still have to break it to your cousin's friend that you aren't interested. It's not going to solve the problem, but complicate it.
You're 14, you've got years of dating ahead of you. Likely there will be tons of guys who you would never even look at falling all over you. Sooner or later you'll have to learn how to educate this boys in rejection. It's not being bitchy. Quite the opposite. It's being honest, and will save you lots of pointless relationships that you aren't happy with, and lots of making up really random excuses. It's also saving the guy who likes you a lot of time and effort. In these cases, honesty really is the best policy.
Don't be rude. Just say to your cousin, "I don't want to go out with [whatever his name is], because I don't think about him in that way." She can pass on the message (or just tell him this when you next see him).
Then you move on. So easy! Think of it this way: you're not responsible for the way he feels about you now, but you are if you lead him on.
(Rating: 5) Thanks! This makes alot of sense.