about

I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.

Check out my forum here:

http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589

to post/comment on a topic =]

advice

so my boyfriend is equally as shy as me, if not more, and let's say i'm on the short side of outgoing stick.
we were ok hanging out with each other and talking to each other before we were dating, but now that we are, it's all akward.
i don't know what to do about this.
anyone have a solution to my problem?

PS: saying "jus go over and talk to him" or something to tghat degree won't help. i've tried that and i'm still trying it.


thanks in advance. :D

Well it could be how you both see each other now that you are dating. Before it was more low key, and you probably felt you could just say random things, crazy ridiculous things, pointless things. Now that you are in a relationship, when you are together you may feel more pressure - like maybe there is the unspoken/spoken pressure to be kissing, or holding hands, or to look good and not be ridiculous on a date to impress the other person. Maybe you just both feel awkward with dating because you're not really sure what you're "supposed" to be doing, or what you "should" talk about.

I know you don't want me to say "just go over and talk to him". Honestly, though, what other choices do you have? Fly in with a team of armed ninjas to move his mouth up and down and force sounds out of it?

Forget the idea that you are dating so must somehow act different, and just say random things ("I'm so tired." "I hate biology." "It was so cool, I submitted something and it got in!" "K so there was this quiznos sign that said 'having an affair? We cater'") . Ask him "why do we never talk anymore?" or say "We don't talk as much anymore" so he gets that it bugs you. Get together with him and also a group of other people, preferably chatty people, so that they will start a conversation and he or you will hopefully be part of it, hence having an indirect conversation, but a conversation nonetheless. If all else fails, you like each other, so there is that element of flirting that you can do whenever the conversation is terrible or you don't know what to say. Tease him, play with his hair, put your arm around him, "sleep" on his shoulder and playfully call him your pillow, or anything that causes tiny sparks between you which can fill awkward silences and provoke flirty conversations. Also, there is the internet where many people feel more comfortable saying things online, so you could always try that.

[view]

(Rating: 5) wow. you helped me so much. i really appreciate it. :D
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker