junebug93's advice column

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soo theres this boy who i have been talking and well last june we started talkin like everyday and got realli close like bestest freinds coz he toldme evrything and meto him! until november wen my best freind went out with him and then i started feelin bit jealosus! but he kinda gaveme the impression b4 hand that he likd me coz he would say all this sweet stuff! anyway, he stopped talkin to me in december for some reason - when everi ask him hes like i dnt like 2 talk bout the past anymore!
soo.. recently he started talkin to me sayin tha he dont want 2 keep a grudge with anyone..he used to go to my skul but left because he failed and had to go sum place else..evry time i talk to him i get a rush of feelings..but i dont tink about him that much at all! and recently he kissed my best friend and didnt even call her back!
ive been trying t move on but i just cant and i dont know what to do at all!
so can somebody tell me how to handle the problem? if i like him or if were just friends?
and what to dooo?.. thanks for advance! xxx

Right now, regardless of whether you like him or if he likes you, you are friends. The only way to be more than friends with him at this point is if you both agree to it somehow, ie you could ask him out, or both could confess how you feel, ect. Saying sweet stuff doesn't necessarily mean anything; it could be that the guy is naturally like that, or that he is a flirt, or any other reason.

If you don't really think about him often, then you are probably moving on already. It doesn't seem like the best idea to pursue him at this point since your friend will be upset, since you already know what kind of guy he is by the way he treated your friend, and since he probably doesn't like you and you would have to chase him to some extent to ever be more than friends. I mean you would be going out of your way to be with a guy who is failing school, not calling back your friend, and who your friend probably likes (an assumption I'm making from reading this).

You don't really have to do anything special to "handle" this one. Just don't go out of your way to chase him and you're fine! Rushes of feeling whenever someone is around are signs that you like that someone, but this is more infatuation than anything. It doesn't mean, in any case, that you should start to pursue this person or think of them romantically. Plenty of people get infatuations and crushes all of the time without doing anything about it and that is perfectly fine. Just be yourself, join a club at school, do in general what makes you happy and what you feel you should be doing. Don't feel bad about checking out any other guys that do go to your school. Don't get hung up on this guy - is he really worth it?

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The difference between really liking someone and infatuation (to respond to your feedback): it's a complicated question that I'm sure many people struggle with. Basically infatuation is when you are obsessed with someone without really knowing the person or without being willing to actually commit to them. You may like them superficially, or be obsessed with them because they are so attractive/intelligent/whatever that it's overwhelming. If you really like someone you can see their flaws and still like/love them just for who they are, and will be willing to give to them instead of wanting to be with them because of what they can do for you. Usually you can only begin to "really like" or love someone if you have known them for some time first.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks a lot babe! but i just want 2 clear up dat my friend was the one who betrayed because i toldher i liked him buh she went and meet up and kissed him anyway! and yeah i totally understand what your sayin and ill kee that in mind! btw how do u knw if you really like someone or its and infauction! xx thanks darlin

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