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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
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I am 16, and I like this girl at school. We have been in class together often for the past two years. This year I'm a Junior, and I am finally feeling more confident but everytime I get around her my mouth turns to jello, and I sound like a fool. She is so beautiful, that I can't help staring at her sometimes. She thinks it is sweet. I have even told her I like her and she really has not even said a word about it. She is a great friend, but it seems like thats all we will ever be. She says she only dates older guys but I am a great guy too. How do I make her notice that about me?
She may say she likes only older boys but this doesn't really prove anything. The truth is, while girls may tell themselves that they only fall for a certain type of person, stuff like how tall you may be, how old you may be, none of that will ultimately matter in how much they will go for you. It happens on a completely different scale.
On getting her to notice you - it seems like she's in a phase where she appreciates the admiration she gets from you - so keeping up whatever you are doing that makes her appreciate this could work. The only danger to this is that she may still see you as just another guy and take you for granted. Girls like to feel like the guy that they're with is some one who isn't just average and who was harder to get in some ways, even though they like to be admired. It's paradoxical. Now you should just listen to the cues she gives you. Tease her a little, maybe slightly physically (ei jokingly poke her) and see how she reacts. If she smiles and laughs a lot and flirts back, you may want to take the approach that turns you into her adoring person that "chases" her. Give her flowers if she succeeds somehow (I don't know, was she in any way involved in some sort of school play, performance?) Go to her sports games (or to things that she's in), tease her a lot in a slightly flirtatious way while getting to know her more as a friend. When it's her birthday, or when it's christmas, write her a card that's slightly more personal than everyone else's, and some kind of inside joke present. If you notice that she is away from school one day then send her a short but concerned email asking maybe if she's okay, saying you missed her in (lunch, whatever class you guys have together). And then there is the whole basic courtesy thing - hold doors open for her, give her lunch money if she doesn't have any, or lend her subway tickets when she's forgotten, let her use your phone, friend stuff.
Second scenario - she isn't flirting back, or looks slightly annoyed when she sees you. It could be possible, then, that she is using the "older guys" thing as an excuse to avoid you asking her out and having to reject you/ having you pursue her. In this case, doing any of the above could really make her uncomfortable or scare her off. You'd have to approach more cautiously. Maybe sometimes you could sit next to her and joke a little, but not everyday you would sit next to her. Focus a lot on who you are, your own passions. When you walk into a room, look confident and tell yourself that you are an awesome person. If you believe this then there are way more chances that she will see this about you (and even if she doesn't, it's not a bad thing to do in general). If you are really getting vibes that you shouldn't chase her or whatever as much, or that she won't like you back anytime soon, the most you can do is be the best person you can be. Who knows, she may notice and come to her senses. Or you could start liking someone completely different.
From what I read, however, it seems more like the first situation. Good luck, but just remember to keep reading the situation to tell how much is enough and how much is too much. You want to flatter her and make her feel appreciated but you don't want to look like a creepo stalker. You can't really make her notice anything, ultimately, everything that's amazing about you she'll have to see for herself. Confidence helps.
(Rating: 5) Thanks that was extrmemly helpful...I will definetely put your advice to good use. I hope to get advice from you about more things in the future