junebug93's advice column

I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.

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This guy likes me. He hasn't told me yet but I can tell just cause the stuff he does. And well I don't really like him.. how can I tell him without him hating me??

In most situations (if the guy is a normal, mentally sound person in general), he will not hate you for not liking him back. He will realize that he is a guy who some may like and some may not but will not necessarily expect you to like him back unless you flirt with him constantly or give him any sort of cues which you would only give out if you actually liked him or wanted to believe this.

You don't actually have to tell him you don't like him at this point, especially since you don't actually know for sure that he's trying to pursue you (you're not in his head, right?). If you are really concerned about this, you don't have to be afraid of getting to know him as a friend, but stay away from too much flirting, or teasing that can turn into flirting, and if he asks you to go alone with him to the movies and to dinner you can calmly decline. You could always (if you really feel like you have to tell him you don't like him) just tell him. You could go up to him and say "DO you like me?" and if he says yes say "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way and I would rather be your friend" or something like this. However, I wouldn't worry that much. Plenty of people like other people that don't like them back, or like people and choose not to pursue anything for whatever reason. His crush on you could come and go, it could be gone tomorrow, he could not even realize now that he likes you while secretly being extremely attracted to you. Don't worry so much about this for now, you only really have to say anything if he asks you out. In that case all you would have to do is say no, or that you don't feel that way about him. If you are mature about it then he won't hate you.

---> if you wanted to, you could also always drop a few "hints". Tell him about boys you think are cute/ have a crush on, or talk about your crush (real or imaginary) in front of him. Mention how glad you are that you two are friends without you having to worry about all that relationship stuff, tell him innocently that you don't get high school relationships and don't want a boyfriend, tell him you like him so much platonically/ like a brother/ like a friend.

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(Rating: 5) thank you so much :)

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