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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
15/f. I'm always sad. And I have no reason to be. I have friends, my parents are still together, I get things that I really want and need, my parents give me attention, people are nice to me, I get good grades...All that good stuff. You know? Nothing missing. But I'm just so upset. Everyday. Sometimes I have outbursts of happiness. But they usually last for as much as one hour. Now, as a sophomore, I have these feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and sadness. I know I need to see a therapist, but my parents strongly disapprove, saying I don't need one. I used to cut myself just to get attention from people that weren't even my real friends. I even have thoughts of suicide. I feel like I'm in jail, you know? I'm always anxious and stressed and I rarely ever make plans with people anymore. I can't stand being alone. And I need [CRAVE] attention and affection to make my days (from people other than my parents), otherwise, it's like "what the hell am I living for?"
This all seems really ridiculous to me. I have never had any type of trauma. I've never been raped/molested etc...I'm just so f-ing confused.
What can I do? :\ What makes people happy?
Sucky as it is, depression doesn't need to have a reason, and there is nothing in the world that can "make" someone happy. The same thing happened to me a year ago, when I was 15. I had known I was depressed before then but no one would believe me. The thing about being depressed is that the whole thing is so damn stigmatized. The truth is there are so many more people in therapy and taking meds than you may think, or than your parents may think. The main thing is, while it may be true that this is a phase, or that you are a teenager, it is your life. If you are worried about yourself, you have a right to go and "get help" or whatever you need to do. Even without parental support, there are places you can go to... online I'm sure a quick google search could provide some helplines, and of course there are things like kids help phone, and school guidance counselors that are pretty much there to refer you to where you need/ would like to be referred.
This isn't really to say you are full out "depressed". I would still recommend you "get help" though this doesn't actually work at all unless you fight whatever crap and sadness you need to fight on your own. It's hard and it sucks but it's like your own personal challenge - and everyone's got one. This is yours to fight, ultimately. From the sounds of it maybe all you need is to call some people, or email facebook whatever them. If you are feelings depressed it's tough because you won't want to do anything. You've got to beat that, maybe with a deep breath and a nike "just do it" attitude. I mean maybe if you're sad and lonely at the same time being a little less lonely would help the sad, no? Once school starts you'll be less bored and see people a little more, which may help. Just make sure that when you're traveling through life that you stay connected to people because it does help in making you feel happier.
Another thing you could try is to find a passion, any passion. I'm sure you have one. And once you find it try to fit in an hour a day to work on it. Maybe it's writing. Maybe it's art. Just pick something that lets the feelings out, or cry till you can't anymore. I guarantee you'll feel better. Loud music helps.
Still something else to try is excersize. If you do feel crappy it's the hardest thing to get your butt off of whatever you're sitting on and to move. But think of this - excersize produces endorphins, and those make you happy. Ok, I take back my previous statement; some things can create happiness. And besides, what's easier, feeling miserable all of the time or getting over that dread of movement and running or dancing or taking boxing lessons every once and a while?
One final thing. You have outbursts of happiness. You can't be too bad off. IF you were you'd have given up completely, but already you are trying to find some help. OF course being depressed is ridiculous but so is life and both are very real and while your parents may not see it, thank God you do. There is so much hope for you, no matter how hopeless you feel, because you are speaking out here in a mature way and asking for help, wanting to change. And while whatever you feel now can feel like an eternity if you truly want to get better you will, and with some luck you'll be looking back on this a year from now (or whenever) and go "what the hell was that?"
As for what you are living for. I'm not sure. Life is like that - it is what you make of it. It's huge and full of billions of possibilities that are in no way confined to how you feel in the present and that are entirely about what you do with each moment each day starting with right now. If you have the drive you can do anything. So pick up the phone or go online right now and get help; it's your life, not that of your parents. And the rest just take it one day at a time, happy moments, sad moments. Call some people. Try to figure out what it is that makes you crazy happy sometimes and figure out how you can cope through the other times. I believe that what makes people happy is an insanely complex and individual question that perhaps only you can answer for yourself.
(Rating: 5) Thank you.