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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
i think of everything in a pestimestic way. which then gets me WAYYY stressed out.how do i stop doing that..?
You could go to a therapist if you're really concerned but I doubt you need to.
Another thing you could do which you could do on your own is every time you get a thought that is seriously pessimistic, write it down, and then make a chart, or a line down a piece of paper. On one side write down all of the arguments for that pessimistic statement, and on the other side write all the arguments against. You'll get a much more balanced view of what is actually going on.
Another thing you could try is when you are really worried about something bad that could happen, ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen if (pessimistic thing) happens?". It's really easy to have a huge horrible feeling of dread in you, but it's easier when you really think of it and find out that what could actually happen isn't that bad.
If you ever get way too worried about all the horrible things in your life, you could also think of people worse off than you. Try making a list of, instead of everything that's wrong, everything that's right in your life. There's so much in life that does go wrong, but hey, you have internet access, you are definitely not the worst off.
If all else fails, pick a period of time to just think of yourself and worry and stress. Write down everything that is bugging you and be completely overly dramatic until instead of stressing yourself out, you laugh at how ridiculous you're being. Think of how someone else would see you over dramatizing everything you worry about. And don't forget to take deep breaths. Sometimes, when you're really stressed, it helps to just lie on your bed and focus on a period of time, real or imaginary, where you were really, truly, relaxed and happy.
Take lots of time for yourself, find a passion that allows you to let out the stress. For me it's drawing, and writing. Stuff like that. If you're athleticly inclined, or even if you're not, lots and lots of excersize definitely helps, as well as getting the right amount of sleep. Eat veggies, stay away from fast food. Hobbies like yoga, meditation, though I've never tried them, are probably worth checking out.
Find something you can do when you get really stressed out... loud music, punching a punching bag, anything.
Overall, the way to get rid of pessimism and resulting stress is to really enjoy and appreciate what you have, which is easier said than done. You'll have to figure out how to do this on your own. It could be taking ten minutes a day to remember all the good parts, trying something new and then feeling good about it, or achieving some sort of goal that's tricky for you and then remembering it everytime you doubt yourself. Or anything I suggested above. Life has a lot of good things and a lot of bad things; you need to find out in your own way how to see both.
(Rating: 5) wowwwwwww thanx so much =]