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I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR








advice

for the past five months i liked my best friend but he let me down time and time again saying that he only wanted to be friends but at the same time led me to believe he liked me as more. and it gave me hope, i always hoped that maybe even a small fraction of him would feel what i felt but no such luck. he did all the kinds of things that any boyfriend would do- note that we never went out- he would tell me ho much he loved me and hold my hand and hug me and just make me feel like the most important girl in the world. a few days ago a friend of mine suggested that he ask me out and so he was going to. he told me that it might not be a good idea because my friends dont exactly like him but i said that it didnt matter to me. the next day he gave me a ring and everyone knew he was gonna ask me out. well then he and i had a talk and he said that he couldnt hurt me anymore and that he only liked me as a friend. so yea it was pretty much the worst pain ive ever felt and its the second time its happened with him.

and yet something inside of me has allowed me to let go and i cant describe what it is or why i feel it. i feel relived and there isnt a worry on my mind. it seems like these five months of depression never existed because im just so happy for no reason i cant explain it. i dont understand how this is posssible. now when i see him i dont wish he felt differently. im not hoping that he lied to me when he said he only sees me as a friend. and today i met this really cute and funny guy that im starting to like now. how can this happen? ive never felt so happy in my life before and its just so amazing. i wanted to let go of him for so long and when i wasnt even trying to it just happened. i cried about him so much and now its just like poof i dont like him anymore. it feels like i just pulled off a mask that i was hiding behind for these past five months. i can be myself and go crazy and be free and happy. can anyone explain this? or am i just going crazy?!? hahahah thanx

Sounds to me as though the second talk you both had was the trigger that brought you to acceptance.

Your friend is either a non-committal guy or gay. Non-committal guys like a girl but can't commit by a regular, dating relationship, let alone marriage.

Maybe he was confused too, depending on your age, being good friends and both attracted is confusing. With adults, it makes a good combination to fall in love, but younger teens get confused over the feelings.

But the point is, you subconsciously accepted that last conversation and got "closure."

That subconsciously freed you to "see" other guys in the right light-- and you found this new boyfriend and are happy.

Don't worry. It was normal feelings for you.

You got closure. You accepted it. Now you are free.

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(Rating: 5) yea well actually you're right he was kind of both. see the thing is he was very confused about his sexuality for a long time which obviously wasnt helping the situation. then he told me that he was sure that he is strait but just doesnt like me like that and doesnt want to hurt me like he hurt his ex. YAY IM FREE THIS IS SO GREAT!!!! thanx =)
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