LiLReBeL6907's advice column

I recently got very, very drunk and hooked up with my good friend's ex boyfriend. I am pretty sure he likes me as more than a friend and know he wants to go "further" with me. I'm seeing him twice this weekend, I'm going to be under the influence both of those times but am not sure what to do. I like him back, as a crush.

My friend got really angry when I hooked up with her ex (they only dated for a week), which I understand but I can't help how I feel for this guy. Should I just not see him, or should I do things behind my friends back? The answer seems obvious but it doesn't feel obvious because I recently got into a huge fight with that friend and I don't know what to do. Please help!

Considering she only dated him a week, it is obvious that they were not meant to be. But he is still her ex, so you cant blame her for being mad. Now another thing you need to consider... How long ago was it since your friend and this guy stopped dating? Has it been a week or two since they broke up? A month? That could be part of the reason she is angry, because she might not be over him yet. Also consider what caused the break. Did she break up with him? Was it mutual? Did he end it? Was cheating involved? This could also be a major factor in why she is angry. The last thing you need to consider is how long she knew this guy before they started dating. Were they good friends before? Did she talk to him a while before dating? Just because they only dated a week didn't mean they didn't have a inexclusive relationship before that. Answer these questions and put yourself in her shoes. Now if it wouldn't bug you if she did that to you, then I guess go for it. But remember, treat your friends like you should be treated. You don't want to be known as the "back-stabbing slut". And ending a friendship over hooking up with a guy is totally not worth it. So think about how well you even know this guy. You said you only like him as a crush, but you think he likes you more. So you seem to like him, but he has way more feelings than you do. So take time with this. If I were you, when you see him these next two times, tread carefully in what you do. I don't suggest hooking up again. Get to know him a little better. You might learn that you like him more than just a crush and that could definetly help you make your choice. Now if your friend finds out you are doing this behind her back, it only makes you look worse. So you should go out and tell her. Friends tell the truth, even if it hurts. Tell her that you really kind of like him, but you understand where she is coming from. Tell her that you don't want her to think you are doing something behind her back, but you and her both know that her and her ex are way over, and it isn't fair to put yours and her relationship in a battle over a guy she only dated 1 week. Hopefully she can think logically and realize you are right. Best of luck hun and if you need anything message my inbox.

~Sherah

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(Rating: 5) thank you so much! :)

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