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about
"We make war so that we may live in peace." -aristotle"If you judge someone right away, you will not be able to learn to love them."
I'm Hayley, I'll try to help you as best I can. I'm 18, and a senior in high school. I like art, music, and clothing. I'm a vegetarian abd have been consistent with it for four years. I have two dogs a westie named misty and a Maltese/poodle mix named mally. I know a lot about dogs because any time
my dogs get a scratch, I research and call the vet haha.
advice
I'm a teenage girl and I'm always alone- i'm not kidding. I'm homeschooled so that's why.(and i'm the only dependent minor in my family) I used to go to a prep school where I was around annoying people 24/7, and i hated that. But this makes me depressed too. Never being around anyone. my problem is this:
Whenever I get tired of being completely alone and I go out in public for a rehearsal or something (i do theater), I can't stand being around unintelligent sluts who don't understand me and just ask me why i look so sad and things like that. I get panic attacks whenever I try to talk to someone (unless it's one of my 2 best friends in the whole world) and i start sweating and I turn red and my heart starts pounding. and it gets too awkward and i have to make an escape.
I'm very well-spoken and i couldn't call myself "shy" but i still feel reclusive because i just don't really get along with other people. I've thought it was because of my intelligence being significantly above average. (been professionally tested) So I "notice things that no one notices" which makes me "unusual". (that was something stated word for word in my testing document thing)
It's like everyone else is a bunch of cows in a heard that looks exactly the same and does the same thing, and I'm a completely different species, who doesn't see the need to be in that heard. (if that makes sense)
I also battle depression- and I always have. It's not from any particular event- it's just always sort of been there. and i can't change it.
What is wrong with me?
Is there anyway, you can like, go to a public school? I know prep schools suck, I went to one, I hated ittt. I switched to a public school, and I love ittt. like, seriously. i love itt. When your feeling lonely, what about family? Bond with someone in your family..
Don't be so harsh, just because someone isn't intelligent, doesn't mean you gotta get all defensive. thats a negative attitude, ya don't want that. there probably asking you why your sad, because their concerned. there not trying to be mean or anything. they most likely just dont know you very well, and are trying to help you out.
You've got to conquer your fears about being shy and everything. I know thats really hard, because I used to be like that, I'd freak out talking to people, I could hardly speak, I'd turn red, and I'd sound shaky when I talked. But, the only reason I was like that, is because I had such low confidence in myself. Maybe thats your case too. Try building up some confidence. Stand infront of a mirror, point out all of your good qualties, your strengths, good parts of your personality.
Thats good, that your unique. Which embarresses me, because I've probably made a million spelling and puncuation mistakes and such. Its good to be different. I think you should go to a school. Where theres lots and lots of people. So you can find more people who have similar interests. Where do your two best friends go to school? Can you go there?
Believe it or not, most people feel the same way, about what you said about the heard and you being in a tottaly different species. Honestly, thats how I feel right now, I'm not sure how I want to be. But, I've learned, I can't limit myself to just one type of clothing, or one type of music, or anything like that. That I should like whatever I want, and no one should tell me other wise.
You can change depression, you can make it better.. go to a therapist.
Nothing is wrong with you. You've just gotta get some confidence and let yourself relax a little more. I'm sure one day, you'll make a dramatic difference in peoples lives in the future, because of your knowledge and unsualness that you have.
(Rating: 5) Thank you SO much! You can never know how much you helped me! I have come back to the site to help other people like you have helped me.