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advice

15 f
my sister is 17 almost 18
we used to be really close and never fought but now its not like that since im growing up we always get into fights and barely talk. we never had those awkward talks so please dont tell me to have one with her haha
ok so lately shes been telling me that im changing that i always have an attitude or that i shouldnt have a boyfriend because im too young or that i changed alot. its getting really annoying what should i tell her so she would just leave me alone and let me grow up.
thanks

She can say you are "changing" all day long and you are, but she is too. You both are chaging.


Relationships grow and evolve through changing throughout the years and you and your sister are in a hard one. Relationships are hard-- but siblings are really hard.



She is being the "big" sister to you, her "little" sister, and does not want you to make the same mistakes she did, and save you the grief and heartache from it. But she can't.


You will have to learn just as she did. The hard way.


But you do have the advantage here. She HAS been there and done that--so heed what she says. Everytime a situation comes up remember what she said and ask yourself, "should I or shouldn't I?"


It will be awkward for another year or so because she sees you as her baby sister trying to grow up too fast, and you see her as the older and controlling sister. Do you want her to say, "I told you so?"


At 15 dearie, you DO have an attitude. There's no doubt about it. It's that rebellance attitude that you know it all, and you do not. Loose it around your sister. You get more with honey than you do with vinegar.


If she talks about you being too young for a boyfriend it's because she's worried that he will take advantage of you. She loves and wants to protect you.


But kindly and nicely remind her that she had boyfriend when she was your age, so why can't you? Give her the information but with a valid question for her to answer. That;s respect.


Start by giving her respect when talking to her in order to head off arguments, and don't put her on the defensive, but rather give her the opportunity to share her "wisdom" with you freely.


Telling her to leave you alone and let you grow up is the worse possible thing to say to an older sister that wants to protect you.


No matter how you've your mind made up on something, try this: ask her opinion of it, let her have that dignity and respect, let her alone and lecture if she does, mull it over, add it to your equation, and make up your own mind. Just play the part of the inquiring advice sister, and peace will come.

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(Rating: 5) hey thanks great advice you gave me the best one! thanks for taking the time and writing that.. you really helped me
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