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16/f
i have always had a hot temper but it used to take ALOT to make me let it out, and when i did i would mostly just yell then go up to my room and lay down away from everybody until it went down
But lately the smallest things absolutely ruin my day. when i lose my temper which is a daily thing now, i cannot say anything otherwise my dad who's temper is byfar the worst i have ever seen will flare. so i twist and pinch my arm while he yells at me. i then go to my room and throw things, punch my pillows and walls, scream as loud as i can into my pillows and trash my room. when im tired i cry for hours. the rest of the day i cannot talk to anybody. just the voice of somebody who wants to talk to me makes me feel angry all over again. I wake up everyday in such a good mood but my temper always seems to take the day away from me.
how can i control my temper? it's ruining my life (link)
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I used to be like you. In fact, I think up till now, remnants of bad-temperedness still lingers in my blood.
Ask yourself, why are you so angry at everything? By getting angry, you're not solving any problems are you? You are only creating more problems for yourself. Like you see now, your bad-temperedness has led to your parents yelling at you and you getting more and more irritable. When you lose your temper, everyone's gonna think that you're an unreasonable little brat who can't manage your life.
When someone pisses you off, you tell yourself "hold it, hold it, cool it, think: Am I at fault in the first place? If I am, then I have no right to get angry. Tell yourself that you accept the way you are; and tell yourself that it's not that everyone hates you; Tell yourself that your family members have their reasons/difficulties for being mad at you, just like you will always have a reason for being mad with other people.
If they accuse you, then you reason it out firmly with them. With reason/evidence as your back up, no one can say anything against you. Getting mad gets you nowhere and it prevents you from being rational and level-headed.
If they still continue to yell at you despite you reasoning things out with them, then leave it. You know that you're not in the wrong and that's all that matters. If they wanna continue yelling, let them; you just walk away and you tell yourself that you're being the better person by taking things in your stride. No need to engage in endless quarrels and fights with them. Cos you've alr won: You've done your part in explaining yourself and you've done a good job of not flaring up.
So before you flare up, tell yourself to "hold it", don't get fired up cos you'd go off track from there onwards. Steady yourself. Come on, don't pinch and hurt yourself man.
Talk to people nicely first. If you want others to respect you, you've gotta earn it first by respecting them.
It takes time to control bad-temperedness, but don't give up. I promise you that by keeping your temper in check, you'd find that life is not that bad afterall.
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To Stephigiles : First up, I didnt say to hold your anger in. I'm telling her to control it. I'm telling her to reason it out and not flare up.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion on this. There's no right or wrong. If you disagree with this, it's none of my business and it's rude to point people out like that.
Besides, you're suppose to give advice and not make judgements. We dun need a judge to tell us who's right and who's wrong. So where the hell is your advice?
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Rating: 3
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i appreciate your effort but there are a few misunderstandings here. i do not get in trouble for my temper, it is when my father's temper explodes over little things that he takes it out on me. that is when i hold my temper in to avoid getting in further trouble, but i have to release it at some point and that is when i go up to my room. i am looking for a better alternative to releasing this bad temper so there isnt so much bottled up all the time and holding it in hasn't worked yet. thank you for your time though
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