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I'm danika :) i'm 17 and i've been an advice columnist for almost 2 years i'm not on here a lot anymore but feel free to leave me and inbox and i'll get back to you asap
advice
About 2 years ago I was "diagnosed" with perfectionism. (Yes, it's a real disorder.) I got counseling for it, and it hasn't really interfered much with my life since then until now. I've recently found myself faced with more serious dating relationships, but because of my disorder, it makes it really difficult for me to want to get close to a guy. I've met a guy that I adore, and we both like each other. But it's hard because I'm afraid of being "imperfect" around him, which is ironic because that's pretty much inevitable. No one is perfect. But you'd have to have perfectionism to really understand what I mean. Anyways, it's gotten to the point where I don't want to eat around him. I might get something stuck in my teeth, spill on myself, get gas (haha), have an allergic reaction, anything. I don't want to do things that I know I'm not good at because I don't want to fail. (Example: I'm really good at acting, but I got cast in a show as an extra! I usually land large roles, and I was so disappointed in myself. When he said he was going to come watch me, I begged him forever not to come, then cried backstage for an hour before the performance because I didn't want him to see me.) I don't want to go places that I'm unfamiliar with because I might look dumb or mess up.
This is so hard to describe online, and for people to understand, but if anyone has had this similar problem, is a perfectionist, or has any helpful advice on how I can get over this and not let it affect my dating life, I would really appreciate it. I'm desperate!
i always need to be perfect. ALWAYS. i feel the need to be better than everybody else. i understand how you feel. i dread doing things i've never done before because i'm afraid i'll mess up and he'll hate me or something? it's weird. example: i never did anything wtih a guy. but then i realised that it's okay with him because i was comfortable around him.. so listen this is my advice. if you dont' feel comfortable around him you should be with him.. and if you do feel comfortable then you shoudl be fine just take steps.. first maybe eat chips or somethign in front of him etc. just little steps everythign will be fine hunny =] promise
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! :)