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I'm 26 yr old male and my brother passed away a few years ago, leaving his son who is now 12. I'm am still very close to my nephew. I talk to him on the phone alot, email with him, etc. His mom is a terrible mom, who happens to have 2 other kids from 2 other men and wastes the social security money from my brother on cigarettes, alcohol, and frivilous items. She pays no attention to the boy and he stays with his grandma most nights because she doesnt wake him up in time for him to go go school. I'm afraid my nephew might soon turn to drugs, alcohol, etc. I've also noticed quite a lack of self esteem. I know that he has had 'girlfriends' but have yet to see them or meet them. His friends seem to be good, but I believe Im too old to be able to judge 12-13 year olds. He needs a man in his life and everytime Im in the area he always stays with me (I live 2 hours away). I plan to move back into the area soon and feel that he may want to live with me. Heres the questions:
1. How can I help to make sure he stays on the right path until I get there? I've already had the sex, drinking, pot, and cigarette talks with him.
2. How could I approach to his mother the possibility of him living with me, which I want to happen for his sake.
3. If he were to move in with me, would it be wrong to ask for the social security that HE should be getting for my brother's death so I can start a fund for him for college, car, etc.? (link)
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to answer your first question, talk to him about it. tell him that you want him to be able to tell you the truth about what hes doing. talk to him over and over about the things you stated above. drill them into his head. to answer the second question, sit her down and tell her that you know she has a lot to deal with now and that you are willing to take him into your home and that it would be best for him. make sure you have everything planned out first. every detail from where he would sleep to the school system even to how you would help him. to answer your third question, i think that after you get his mother to agree to let him live with you, maybe a month or so later bring the idea up to her but dont push it because she might take him back because she will think that the only reason you took him was for the money. i hope i helped -helen
p.s. i think that this is a great thing you are trying to do for him!!
(im glad that i could help =])
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