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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
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Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
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Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
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So, I'm 16/f and I dated this boy for 5 months. I honest to god think I loved him. He didn't like that I really wanted to take things kind of slow and he wanted alot of physical interaction. The thing was, he didn't talk to me in person. He blamed it on being nervous or not knowing what to say. I tried really hard to get him to talk to me, but I always felt like I was talking to myself. He's a cute guy, but doesnt always take things as seriously as he should and I used to get mad at him for goofing off too much. Anyways, This new girl moved here and I noticed my boy flirting with her for about 3 weeks, but during those three weeks, me and him were closer than ever. This girl was my really good friend because we're alot alike (we have the same additude, think very much alike, and act alike). Anyways, she knew how I felt about my boyfriend and stuff. Well, My boyfriend broke up with me and two days later he was ALL OVER HER. I got really upset and no one really understood why I was mad at her because "she cant help who she likes". Well now they're dating and sometimes I think I'm still in love with him, but sometimes I dont.
Would it be wrong of me to be mad at her for a while? Should I be more mad at him? What do I do if I love him? Seriously, I need real good advice.
I noticed that you asking if you should be mad at whoever. You don’t need to justify your own emotions to anyone as long as you don’t act rashly on them. You have the right to be angry or impartial towards anyone you feel like.
Concerning your question, I would be absolutely furious at her. I probably wouldn’t talk to her again for a while. A girl going out with a girlfriend’s ex is one of the biggest forms of betrayal. I’m not even going to start about the fact that you’re all sixteen and she should realize that guys come and go but true friends will stick by you forever. She can’t help who she likes, like I said, she doesn’t have to justify her emotions but she is responsible for the actions she takes. She could have liked him but dismissed him as a simple crush and been loyal to you but she didn’t. The only reason that a lot of people don’t understand why you’re angry is probably because they haven’t taken the time to empathize with you. How would they feel towards a good friend who started going out with someone they haven’t gotten over yet? Don’t be bothered by what they think, if the same thing happened to them, I doubt they’d act half as rational as you are.
At the same time, although he is the one who originally left you, you might not feel as angry towards him because you’re still in love with him. You think of her as someone who dragged him away and it’s human nature to not think the situation in terms of the fact that he left you for her. He might not be totally to blame for the matter (maybe he might have stayed with you if the new girl didn’t enter the picture) but he’s definitely to blame for a huge part of it.
I hate to tell you this, but in the long run, it was better for you that he left you. You can’t change who you love but I know guys like him. He might look like a 16 year old but in essence, he has the mind of an immature 12-year-old boy, who hasn’t quite gotten the scope on everything. He spent all his time trying to be physical with you and when he started getting bothered by you trying to get him to grow up, he jumped to the next best thing; someone who was almost exactly like you but didn’t know him well enough to figure out how childish he was.
This is my prediction, they’ll be going out for a while and then she’ll start bugging him about his immaturity at which point he’ll leave her for someone else, or they’ll be going out for a while and she’ll never say anything to him about his immaturity, they’re relationship will be purely physical and eventually she’ll dump him.
As for you, you’ll move on too. You might keep a part of him with you but over a few months or years you’ll find someone else and he might not be the one you’ll stay with forever but he’ll be someone else. You’ll probably hurt for a bit and hate him and miss him sometimes but you’ll get over him and look back at these days and smile at yourself and thank god that you had broken up before it had gotten any worse.
Don’t beat yourself up about it anymore, just take a deep breath and head on out.
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(Rating: 5)
thanks, for real.
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