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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: IT Girl
Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
Answers: 704
Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
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23/m
I got married young... while I was still in high school. Shannon wasn't pregnant, we just thought we were ready... probably because we both wanted to get away from our parents. We've had it good and we have a few kids now... but I'm not in love with Shannon anymore. I'm in love with one of my best friends, Tonya, who is also now married. I know things between Tonya and I won't work out, but if I'm not in love with Shan anymore, should we get a divorce? Am I just leading her on? Should we get counseling? I'm ready to let go. I'm done. But I don't want to break her heart... and what about the kids? They'll hate me. Please help me!
Yes, you got married young so like most mid-20 year old men, you want to get out there and explore your options. But, honey, you're married and getting a divorce right now is probably going to make the situation way worse. Especially when you have kids to worry about.
Don't consider yourself out of love with her just yet. I've seen so many people fall out of love, get separated or divorced and then get back together after years.
Counseling is an excellent idea; you should urge Shannon to try it out. If that doesn't work, maybe a temporary separation may help? Or maybe the kids are actually the problem. Have you found yourself looking at Shannon less and less as a soul mate and more as a housekeeper? You should try spending more one-on-one time with each other to kindle that love again. I know it's tough when you're young and you spend most of your time working, but try to take at least half an hour of your day to talk to each other.
And please stay away from Tonya, she's just a little fancy you have because she reminds you of your high school days. You can't break up her marriage too. Never mind the fact that life will be extremely tough for Shannon as a single mother who always depended on you to be her other half. I have seen so many women rejected just because they're so young and they have kids. Men in her age group aren't looking for a woman with the entire package. They want to make their own package. Statistically, I can see her drudging through her twenties and maybe marrying a much older man when she is 35-40ish.
Don't be a part of the 50% of divorced couples. I'm sorry I'm being tough but you have to take all your commitments into account. Making mistakes when you were young is no excuse for abandoning everything and starting over. At least try to make it work. Go get a number for a counselor, talk to him/her about your options.
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(Rating: 5)
Very good advice.
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