Listen. You aren't the only guy whose been through a very tough break-up. I know you feel horrible and worthless right now, but these feelings are temporary, I can promise you that.

If you continue to convince yourself that it's the end of the world, then you will get worse. You may think that every day when you wake up and every night before you fall asleep, but do not let that become of you. If a break-up meant it was the end, then we'd all be gone right now. Your situation, feelings and problems may feel different than everyone elses, but they aren't that different. Almost everyone faces this.

What you have to do is take everything one at a time. Crying is more than ok. It drains most of the bad feelings and you feel a little bit better after a really good cry. Don't be afraid to really break-down sometimes and just let it out. Being a male doesn't mean you don't feel pain. If you are a human being, you feel pain and you cry.

As you can probably tell, I've been through this. Actually I'm getting through it right now. I was with a guy who I had very strong feelings for. It wasn't some sixteen year old fling. It was a relationship that lasted 3 years and ended very recently. It's far from easy, but each day I realize that I am getting stronger. And I realize that I am living my life without him when all of this time I thought he was my life. But that wasn't true. He was a very big portion of my life. There was my life, and then there was his, and then there was our life binded together. So now the only part left is my life and I have to live it. Just like you do. You have your life left ahead of you to live. You can't give up because of this girl.

I know exactly what you feel when you can't seem to believe that there is no more good times to come. It's ok to feel this way. You have just been put through something very hard, of course you're feeling this way.

The part of your question that concerns me is that you say there are only two options left for you. Take pills, or end your life. You are wrong. You left out the last option. And that one is moving on and picking yourself back up. The option that makes you stronger. You know it's absolutely too far to end your life over this girl. She may have been very special to you, but it's not enough to end your life over.


1- Distractions: When you find yourself really depressed and upset, turn on the TV or go for a walk. Go to the gym and workout or anything that takes your mind away.

2- Venting: There are times when you won't be able to take your mind away as easily. So you have to just deal with the feelings in your own way possible. Write in a journal, cry, call a friend, go walking, listening to a favorite song and sing until you can't anymore.

3- Limiting: It's ok to have days where you stay at home and be alone, but you have to limit those days. Staying at home in your bed may feel good every once in a while, but it won't if you do it repeatedly. Spend a lot of time out with friends or family members. Even if you feel horrible the entire time, it's worth it.

4- Counseling/Support groups: I know you wanted support groups online, but what about some private counseling sessions? It wouldn't hurt to have a counselor help you get through all of this. If you find that it isn't working, then you can always stop. Just try things, you never know how it might help.

5- Dating again: You might be thinking that just because you don't have a girlfriend anymore you have to start searching immediatly for another. That isn't true. You have to start dating again when you feel ready. Which could be a very long time.


I hope that everything I've said has helped in some way. But I will give you some sites too since that's what you really wanted.


http://teenadvice.about.com/od/factsheetsforteens/a/10thingsbreakup.htm
[This one is basically some tips on moving on]

http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
[You can E-mail this group and it's basically for emotional support. You can also call or write to them, which ever is best for you.]

http://www.eslteachersboard.com/cgi-bin/motivation/index.pl?noframes;read=585
[7 quick and easy ways to feel happier]


-TheTeenGirl

Thank you really for putting so much effort in your advice, you are a really good advicenator. I never stay home and I run 2 hours evry day so I can fall asleep at night. I have a new girl so I will not feel that I am just not good enough. I just wish there was something like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, if you know what I mean. Well whatever...I d like to talk to you sometime maybe I ll somehow sent you Email and we can talk. Make each other feel better and get to know each other.

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

Website:
Gender:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists