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Q: This is a long one.. So i've beeng going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months, but sometimes Im not sure if i really love him or not. Like sometimes when we hang out I just get this really good feeling like im totally in love with him. But then other times I get kind of annoyed of just little things that he does. And i also sometimes feel like he doesnt really "speak my language" if that makes sense. Like I feel like there's this wall between us where i can't completely tell him whats on my mind. A couple weeks before I went out with him I had just broken up with my previous boyfriend of about 11 months. Im starting to think that I just got sucked into my current boyfriend because I had sex with him pretty soon, so I felt like I was obligated to stay with him. But now I just can't decide if that was the right choice. I'm too afraid to break up with him though because he would be SO heartbroken and I'm also afraid i would totally regret it afterward! The other thing is that I've met a few realy cool guys lately, one in particular who is going to be a freshman in college. We met at a party and were both totally drunk but he keeps texting me wanting to hang out and stuff. We havent yet hung out but i really hope to before he has to leave for college, because hes a totally cool guy and not to mention quite attractive. But I also keep holding back because I still totally love my boyfriend. I seriously dont know what to do right now. This whole situation has elevated into a confusing mess and I cant make a decision. Please help me figure out what the right thing to do is! Thankkk you :) -age 15
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I've never been in your situation, but I understand what you're trying to say. I think you might be right about you being obligated to stay with him because you were intimate with him. I think that if this guy were a guy you wanted to stay with, you probably wouldn't have too many of these down feelings about him. I mean you will have times where you'll question a guy, but if it's on a daily basis or once a week, then it's probably not right.
You also stated that you just got out of a relationship of 11 months. Do you know for sure that you're over this guy? It can be about 6 months from when you broke up with him and it would still be ok if you weren't over this guy. Getting over someone takes a lot of time for some people and it's normal. So if you find yourself still missing this 11 month relationship, you probably need more time.
You may have had sex with this boyfriend, and you may know that he'll be really upset if you break-up with him, but those aren't good enough reasons to stop you from breaking it off. Let this be a lesson for you: Remember to save sex for when you've been in the relationship for at least a year and it feels right. If you spend most of your relationships exploring sex, then you'll miss out on a lot of great things that should come before sex. I'm not trying to lecture you or tell you what to do, but as I friend I want you to know that theres a lot about relationships that you're missing out on.
About this Freshmen in college: I also want you to know as a friend that this guy is too old for you. I know you don't like that advice, but it's true. I really hate seeing young girls get hurt by guys who are way older. So please take my advice and don't consider him. You don't have to listen to me, but I've seen way too much happen to people and I don't think I could imagine what's happening with you.
Guys will come along by you, but your best bet is to find a guy around your age so that you'll have a lot more in common with them.
I know this wasn't an answer you were looking for, but I hope I made you see the same situation differently in good ways. Thanks.
-TheTeenGirl
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I think pretty much everything you just told me is good advice so thanks a ton!! I'm deffinitly over my last boyfriend so thats not to worry about, but it's just all this other stuff thats been making me think. So thanks ill try to use this advice as best as i can!!
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bio
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My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.
I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.
Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.
About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 17 Member Since: January 18, 2005 Answers: 1364 Last Update: December 8, 2007 Visitors: 82357
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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