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my boyfriend just confessed to me another girl kissed him and he didn't stop her. I was really mad at first, but then I realized i have no right to be. You see, we're in a internet relationship and not meeting till late this year. I guess it's understandable that if someone in the flesh comes along and kisses you, you're not going to stop them. I think I would do the same too, admittedly. Everyone I've spoken to though thinks I should be madder than I am, because he cheated on me. I guess i'm a pretty laid-back person. We care about each other a lot, but I understand why he did it. I feel I should be mad at him for cheating though. I still want to go out with him, but everyone is telling me to break up with him. What should I do? And am I being too nice on him?
Thanks.
Well this is a very odd subject. The fact that you two are in an internet relationship does make it sort of hard. Since you are laid back and not easily offended is probably why he actually came out and told you. If you don't feel the need to break up with him then don't. It is your decision, not your friends. You said you even would have done the same thing. I think this is why you aren't so hurt by what he did. Of course you were mad. That's your boyfriend! But not getting so mad about it shows you are mature about handling problems and hard situations. I've been through the same thing. Me and my boyfriend have been through ALOT. We've been together almost a year and this is our third time going out. He broke up with me over another girl, but came back to me, then I dumped him b/c I couldn't trust him, and secretly because I wanted to play the field. But we still couldn't stop seeing eachother. So we got back together. Over Spring Break I cheated on him and never told him. I felt he would flip out and we would break up again (I told him this was the last chance we should give eachother to make this work.) Well two weeks after that he blew me off to go with his friends to a "skating park" but I knew he was lying. The next day a girl called my phone saying he cheated on me with her at a party the night before. I didn't want to believe it at first b/c he hardly ever drinks or parties, but even his friends called my phone and told him he should stop lying and tell me the truth. He started crying and told me that the girl kissed him and he didn't stop her and they made out. I was so angry but I had no right to be b/c I did the same thing! So I told him what happened to me and he was heart broken. We got even closer after that and I told him that we should never lie to eachother and there is to be NO MORE cheating. Talking calmly about it is so much better than yelling. And we are doing better than ever. So I think you should follow your heart. You know he cares about you, and that you care about him, so nothing else should matter. Just have a huge talk with him, and make it clear to him that you are NOT dismissing what he did. You think it was very wrong and you are mad about it, but you realize why he did it. And also let him know that if you two are going to work out, that he needs to be loyal, as will you. But tell him you were glad that he told you. Letting him know you appreciate his honesty will make him want to be more open and honest with you in the future. Honesty is the best policy, so always be open with your feelings. Let him know you want to make this work. Follow your heart. It is hard not to listen to what others want you to do, but if you really want to be with him, then your opinion out-weighs everyone else. Listen to your heart and see where it guides you. If you need anymore help on this note my inbox. I will love to help. Best of luck!
~Sherah
(Rating: 5) Thank you! Hearing your personal experience was interesting and helped me a lot.