askkailey
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Q: This is probably going to sound pretty fucking wierd, but it bothers me.

Ok, Im dating this girl. Shes agnostic/athiest, Im christian, formerly catholic non denominational. Up to this point, with the exception of discussion, Ive not really had any issues with religions shit in our relationship. It doesnt bother me that shes agnostic, it hasnt bothered her that Im christian.

So, today we were talking, and I told her I was going to become a reverend in the universal life church. For those of you who dont know, its an online website where you can actually get legally ordained and become a reverend in the eyes of the law. I find this fucking hilarious, and have wanted to for a while, but never got around to it.

She reacted badly. First, she joked that she didnt want to be involved with a reverend. Then she got serious and basically made it clear that it would bother her for me to become a reverend while I was dating her (expressed so that it was clear she didnt want me to do it)

Then she tells me its "disrespectful towards my religion"

This is coming from a girl who Ive watched the jesus episodes of southpark with. Whom I have made catholic joke after catholic joke (Im entitled, I was raised in it) with and laughed with her. Whom I have had frank discussions about the real failings of certain christian sects.

And now this.

Needless to say, I reacted badly. I was, and am pissed at her, for reasons I cant really say. Given that she doesnt even have a religion (because atheism and agnosticism are no more religions than bald is a hair color) I dont see where she gets off getting on me for being "disrespecful" towards mine or having an issue with it when its not like...

Anyway. Enough impassioned speeches, my question to the masses, is what do you think. Am I out of line? Is she? Because Im going to do this, and shes not going to like it. And I dont like feeling guilty for doing things I know arent wrong.
Disrespectful towards whose religion? Yours or hers?

If she means yours, I see where she's coming from, but it's not her place to decide whether or not it's right. You're the one who grew up in the religion, it's up to you to decide.

Honestly, don't throw away your dreams because of a girl. I have no way of knowing the status of your relationship, but I'm going to go out on a limb here & say that it probably won't last forever. If this is really what you want to do, don't let her stop you. If she loves you, she should respect your hopes and dreams.

Communication and understanding go a long way. Discuss it calmly; make sure you get to express your feelings but hear her out as well. Neither of you are out of line, you just have differing opinions.

You misunderstood me, but Im too tired to get into it.

bio
kailey
My name is Kailey. I'm 17 years old & a senior at a high school in Massachusetts. I'm told that I'm mature for my age, but I'll let you be the judge of that. I love giving advice, but I'll tell you the way I see it, so you may not always like my answers. I especially like giving relationship advice. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I feel as though I can give good advice on the subject.

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