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I am getting married in four months. I have been engaged for four years. However, my fiancee and I have at least two major issues. I just don't know if this is serious enough for me to consider backing down from marriage.
My fiancee and I are not seeing eye to eye on money issues. He feels that when we are married once the bills are paid for each person should have allowance money to spend. The catch is the other person should not ask what the money was spent on.
An example is, he spends money on CD's or a football jersey that's over $200.00. If he used it from his allowance money I should not complain. I'm not ok with this. My parents have been together for over 30 years and consult every detail of their expenses together. My fiancee feels that this is like "reporting" to the mate.
My other problem is that whenever something bothers me (other than money matters), I feel I can't tell him without getting upset.
I email him or try over the phone. This doesn't work. He never wants to hear the bad he only wants things to always be on the upbeat. However, I have issues I want to discuss.
I feel he keeps me from expressing my feelings which turn into resentment. Lately, I have really been questioning my relationship.
Please help me. I'm getting married in four months and am afraid of failing. Please Help ME!!!! Any advice will much be appreciated. I need to hear an expert's advice.
THank you
If there are any major issues that you cannot resolve beforehand, DO NOT GET MARRIED. If they are problems now, they will only get bigger once you are married. As YoungGrandma said, money is the number one reason for divorce.
Being with someone who doesn't want to hear how you feel is bad news. Marriage is hard, very hard and not being able to talk about the problems in it, will alone make it harder for your marriage to work. If you have issues you need to discuss with someone who doesn't want to discuss them, you are going to end up feeling alone and miserable. The marriage vow goes "For better or worse..." right?
If he is going to be your husband, he needs to be able to sit down with you and discuss what is going on. If he won't do that, then you should not marry him.
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