askkailey
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okay. Long story short. I have religious Mormon friend. Religious as in very, very religious. Anyhow, we got into a discussion tonight at "impure thoughts" He seems to think it's a "selfish want" to think impurely about others. I said that it's impossible to be rid of them, that by repressing it them you are not getting rid of them, just concealing them and they will just build up. I said that what you need to do is deal with them and get them out of your system.

Now I feel really bad about the things I said. I guess it's because I should respect the fact he's pure rather than encourage him not to be. lol. I feel bad for him as I feel he is a little misguided and placing unnecessary restraints on himself. Does anyone agree with me on what I said to him? Is it impossible to debate with religious people? At the time I seemed to make a lot of sense. But now I'm thinking and maybe he is right. Should we avoid discussions like this in the future? Does someone with some experience with religion have an religious answer to this?

Thanks.


You didn't say anything wrong in my opinion. Just because (I'm assuming here from what you said) you're not a devoutly religious person doesn't mean that you should keep your thoughts to yourself to avoid stepping on other people's toes.

You weren't encouraging him to be impure, you were just expressing your beliefs-- & since you weren't being disrespectful, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you feel that further discussions may jeopardize your friendship, then perhaps you should refrain from them in the future. But as long as you can both remain open-minded, discussions like these can be educational for both of you. You can learn to better understand the restraints he's under & respect them regardless of whether or not he agrees with them, & he can learn that he's entitled to feel as he wish, but he shouldn't judge anyone if they have "impure thoughts".

Thanks a lot

bio
kailey
My name is Kailey. I'm 17 years old & a senior at a high school in Massachusetts. I'm told that I'm mature for my age, but I'll let you be the judge of that. I love giving advice, but I'll tell you the way I see it, so you may not always like my answers. I especially like giving relationship advice. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I feel as though I can give good advice on the subject.

Info
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
Massachusetts

Occupation:
Student

Age:
17

MSN:
ookaileyoo@yahoo.com

Member Since:
November 27, 2005

Answers:
141

Last Update:
December 1, 2006

Visitors:
12116

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker