Azngangsta's

advice

16/f... Lately I've been so pissed at my mom. She works from 9-5 but when she gets home, she's on the computer doing e-mails, ebay, or going to all these different meetings she chooses to be apart of. She wasn't always like this... where she's always gone, or on the computer. And now our house is so messy... and I clean it up. But we have so much junk lying around and a lot of it is hers and she's always saying "Get things cleaned up" well, I do the best I can and she thanks me for it... but everyday its "Get things cleaned up, blah blah blah". And I do what I can but its never clean enough and she never has time to help me because she's always on the stupid computer doing her "little business" on ebay and its stupid! She doesn't have time to cook anymore either. And I have a life too, I have to clean up, plus do stuff on my own whether its taking my cousins somewhere, school, or being a regular teenager. The problem with me is, that I tend to hold emotions in, and then I'll just attack you... and so today I did that with my mom. I attacked her with how I was feeling, but this hasn't been the first time... I've attacked her about this situation before. I'm tired of all this. Same thing with the plumbing back in February (which, btw is still not fixed, but I've given up on that and that was all because of the same thing... she doesn't have time for anything else or she "foregets" to call). Well, she's tired of me always doing this and being sarcastic. I'll start telling her how we're tired of her not having time for anything else. Our house is still messy (a lot of things I can't do... like where am I supposed to put all of the statements she keeps, papers, etc? we have ALOT of that kind of stuff), we have fast food all the time... I go and get my own food, otherwise I won't eat until like 9pm and I'm too tired to cook, and things like the plumbing, etc. So today as I was cleaning out the linen closet I told her how I was tired of this, how she can't do anything anymore and she kept saying "Oh knock it off!, I don't want to hear it, Stop being sarcastic, I'm tired of it" blah blah blah. So I left the room with tears running down my face. The main reason was because she wasn't listening to anything I had to say. She thinks I'm being sarcastic when I'm telling how I really feel. She left for a meeting and the entire time, I kept thinking about cutting. I have no other reason to get anything else out. She won't listen to me. I never tell her anything, I'm not close to her at all. Sure we have a good relationship... she's always been here. She's not the type that goes out drinking or whatever. But deep down, I'm not close to her. I don't "tell her everything" as most daughters and mothers are. Its too late for that, and I've excepted it. And my dad's here, but he doesn't do anything. When he gets off work, he goes downstairs and falls asleep or goes on the computer, then sleeps again. On weekends he'll mow the lawn sometimes, and he used to the the fixer guy... he would have fixed the plumbing, but its not the same anymore. He's just the regular couch potatoe and I'm sick of cleaning up after him and my mom. Yea, they pay me and while most kids think that thats awesome... to me its not all about the money. My parents won't let me have friends over when the house is messy and its ALWAYS messy. The majority of the time, I'd much rather have some friends over than 40 bucks. Money really can't buy happiness. I've only had people over about a total of 10 times in the 16 years I've lived. It sucks and I feel so alone. My mom would be pissed at me if I just came home from school and said "oh hey mom! so-and-so's here!". And those 10 times someone came over, the day before I spent cleaning the entire house. It sucks. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it scares me that I've been having thoughts about cutting. But I feel like theres no other way to get my feelings out. I told my mom before I left the room, that she won't listen to me so I'll just take my anger out in a different way. She just barely looks at me and screamed "Well, you need help then, like a councelor or something" so I finally said "Yea, get me a councelor". But she didn't seem too serious about that... she just said it to make me shut up. I guess my question is, do you have ANY advice? Is there any way you can help me? Give me some advice. I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of how my parents live, its not the way I want to live. And, it makes me mad that my mom won't even listen to how I feel. Just because I raise my voice when I'm mad, or I keep bringing up the same subject over and over again. She won't answer my questions like "When are we getting the plumbing fixed?" "Oh I don't know" "Thats what you said yesterday" "Well, I DON'T KNOW, stop asking..." I HATE IT SO MUCH. She won't talk about anything, make plans to get something fixed. What am I supposed to do? Sorry this is so long.

Damn... It seems like you're the adult in the family. First thing... DO NOT CUT YOURSELF! That doesn't solve anything. Instead, go somewhere and punch something soft, like a pillow or something. That should help you release your anger. A punching bag would be better though, so try to get to one.
I feel so bad for you. You have to keep up with everthing. It seems hard, but somebody has to do it, right? I can only give you suggestions to help you. So consider you options before following them out.

1. Print out your question and put it on the computer screen. (since that's where your mom usually is) This should be able to show that you are serious. Or better yet. Go to your question on this site with all of the answers on it, then leave it there. So when your mom get's back, your question should be the first thing she sees. And make sure she sees it. Stand behind her and say "Wait, lemme see something..." when she get's on. Then look at your question as if you're reading it. It's natural for people to read what you're looking at.

2. It looks to me that you're computer is the enemy. You could do this but it may be a bad idea... So REALLY think this though. If you have an anti-virus program, then turn it off. Then open up all the spam mail you get. (You might want to save all of your files on a disk first). Getting virises on your computer will screw it up, make it run slow, delete files, etc. So... if the computer runs slow, your mom will get discouraged about it. (You're computer will eventually run PAINFULLY SLOW!) Kinda hard to go on eBay with a virus infected computer.

3. I strongly suggest that you DO see a counsler. Not for yourself though. For the family. There are family counslers out there. I'm not sure where to find them though, so you'll have to ask people around your area, such as teachers. If you have a Psychology teacher in your school, they might be able to know.

I really hope I helped. You derserve WAY more that this!

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