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Hi! At this point, I'm just checking back when asked a question. When my life gets less hectic, I'll start browsing to find questions to answer. But please ask; I will answer within 24 hours.

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There's this guy that I've became friends with this year. Surprisingly, we've grown really close. We talk all the time on the phone and on the computer. There have been certain signs that have made me think he likes me:

1) He makes direct eye contact when talking
2) He's sweet to me and mean to the rest of my friends
3) He never wants me to get offline or off the phone when I'm talking
4) Though this isn't a reliable sign, he has had a "boner" twice when talking to me
5) He smiles at me all the time
6) Tries to show off in front of me
7) Makes the kissy faces online and says that it was an accident
8) Suggested we hang out sometime after school
9) Told me I look better with my hair down (not really a sign but wanted to throw it in there)
10) People always come up to me and tell me that they think he likes me

I'm not sure if that sounds like a match but, lately things have been weird. He's telling me how much he likes this other girl and she knows. Today she turned him down (even though he didn't ask her directly) and now I'm thinking he really doesn't like me. What should I do? I want to make a move because it seems like the signs point to yes but then, he likes her!

14//*jANe

If you do go out with him, be aware that a few things that you've listed as cute signs he might like you are considered warning signs. While I doubt at 14 your going to get into situation where he'd get a chance to be abusive, it's always good to know about these things in advance.

Generally, when someone is nice to you, but mean to most other people (including waitresses and bums), it's considered a BIG RED FLAG. It's a sign that they are a mean person trying to manipulate you. If you went out with him, would it cause problems between you and your friends because of the way he treats them?

Never wanting you to get offline or off the phone is more likely to be a control thing than a sweet thing. By the time your 16 it this will be a very big deal.

He may be telling you about this other girl to see if you'll get jealous. I consider jealousy to be a sign of lack of trust in a relationship, and therefore a signal of problems, but I know a lot of people - especially teenagers - use it as a way to determine if the person really likes them.

Keeping in mind that you should never let anyone purposefully cause you pain (hurting your feelings counts), isolate you from your friends and family, or pressure you into doing things you don't want to, if you want to get to know this guy better, go ahead and make a move.

Remember, you can always change your mind about wanting to go out with someone. You don't need a reason.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks so much for the information. Now that I think about it, you're truely right. These could be warning signs and I was too blind at first to see the severity. Thanks for the heads up. You might have just saved me from a bad relationship.
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