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loruhhnellMember Since:
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Hey I'm Laura. I love giving advice and helping people out. If you ever have a question, drop one in my inbox! I'm always on, so your question will be answered very quickly. =)advice
I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my boyfriend lately. I've been with him almost 6 years and we have 1 child together, our 1 year old son. My boyfriend is usually an all around nice guy who is family oriented and fun to be with. He is a dedicated worker and family man. But lately he seems self-destructive. Keep in mind he works two jobs so he is working 17 hours 5 days a week which he's been doing over a year now. He gets NO sleep, maybe 2 hours a night. That could be what's getting to him. But he is unwilling to make a change. I told him he either needs depression medication or a job change or both. So he's been extremely mean to me lately, turning everything I say upside down and picking fights with me in front of our son. He seems to not be caring about anything and he's so cold and hard inside. I prefer not to say exactly what, but he's been getting into something substance related, he's having like a relapse of our old party days or something, he's got the wrong friends. He actually took something out in front of our child and I had to pull him from his high chair and take him in the other room. He's like, "what, he doesn't know what's going on." and I'm like, "it' doesn't matter it's the act." Also, he smokes cigarettes and I hate cigarettes and we have an agreement not to smoke in the house. But he's been smoking in here anyway after I go to bed. I don't believe me and my child should have to suffer for his bad habit, he should take it outside. He knows my wishes but goes behind my back anyways. He would normally never do this. I'm not a mean girlfriend, just a good mother. So this is totally not normally him and I don't understand what is happening here. All he does is bitch about life and say how he's going to die early and stuff and I'm so sick of it now. He never wants to do anything anymore with us as family. I don't want our son growing up in this environment, but also, I really love and care about my boyfriend and know that something deep inside him is really wrong and I would hate to turn my back on him, but am tempted to kick him the fuck out, he's really pressing my buttons, it's like he's seeing how far I will go with this. Also, our sex life is nothing to complain about, just so you know. Is this something we may be able to get passed or is this an ending he has created and he's going to lose everything that's good in his life? I know it's up to him to make a change, but how much should I take? Once it's over with us, that's it, it's over, that's why I am putting off the end until whatever sets me off, sets me off. Please help.
I really want you to stay with him. He sounded like such a great guy until this working got to him. When he comes home from work, take him aside so you can have a deep conversation. Tell him you love him very much and you only want what's best. Ask him to go to the doctor for treatment. Suggest for him to find a different job with less hours. Tell him how he's behavior has effected your family. You need to connect with the man inside that you fell in love with. If he agrees after your discussion, make arrangements. If he still pushes you away, this may be the signal to kick him out. I really hope it doesn't end like that, though. Without him you'd be a single parent and you would have to work or find some other way to get money. Please, try your hardest at getting him to go out and receive help. It's the best thing for him, you, and your child. Good luck =)
..laura..
(Rating: 5) Thank you