I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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When I started college I noticed that I was feeling kind of down. I was at a new school so I felt very shy and didn't want to talk to people. It got worse and after a while I didn't want to go to my classes anymore. I knew something was wrong so I went to see a psychologist and she told me that I have depression and anxiety. She also said that I've had it for so long that I didn't even realize it was there. My doctor then put me on antidepressants. My question is, since I've been depressed for so long is it possible for me to get better? Or is this just a part of who I am now and my personality? Thanks (link)
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Good question! With time and the right treatment and medication there's no reason why you cannot be well and be a high functioning individual. While depression and anxiety will be there it will become like a warning light on your dash board where you're awareof it but if you stay on top of it won't become an issue where you cannot function period. The treatment the doctor has placed you on can get you well no question.
The thing you have to be aware of is that anti-depressants take quite some time to actually kick in. It's not going to be an immediate feeling of sudden wellness when you first take them. It takes awhile for them to kick in and do the work they were prescribed for. You may feel discouraged for awhile at first.
Anxiety and depression are liars and essentially passing themselves off as you and your presonality. It's not who you are or who you will remain or any part of the real you. It's just an illness that when treated won't have the ability to cloud your view of the world and of yourself.
While the illness will always be there it's in the background like a warning light on your dash board. You know it's an issue but as long as you are out in front of it and monitoring the situation it won't be an issue. As long as you follow threatment there's no reason you can't be happy and high functioning.
The best thing you could do for yourself right now is to keep a daily diary. In it write down the meds you took and their dosages and how you feel every day. By doing this you develop a pattern and can walk into your next doctor's meeting know exactly how the pills make you feel and or don't.
Much of this is about dialing in the proper dosages of pills that will work in concert with eachother to keep you well. Also, be sure to write down any possible triggers of anxiety or depression and what you were doing when you felt X or Y because that will help a psychiatrist really help you. Hang in there with them it will get better. Don't be afraid to be too vocal either with a doctor about what you are expieriencing.
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I am plagued with low self esteem, but with the recent discovery of what body dismorphia is, I find it questionable whether my low self esteem is causing my obsession with my hatred for the way my body is, or if I have body dismorphia. I really don’t like self diagnosing but the symptoms sound true to how I feel, I’d hate to suggest that this is a possible problem I have to my doctor on my next visit, so how do I even began to even tell her I’m struggling from body image and possibly something much bigger. To give deeper understanding into what I put myself through I obsess over my flat chest, I look at it everyday in a mirror, I wear jackets in public no matter the weather to conceal it although it isn’t too hard to tell. On another note, I also believe I am ugly, I sometimes sought approval from my associates by calling myself ugly(because I genuinely believe so) and I knew they would tell me I’m not so, I would contemplate on whether they were being honest? Is there judgement even good enough to say so? And if they are really right? Either way I don’t believe people when they say something along the lines of calling me pretty, beautiful, etc. I also hate taking pictures or even the suggestion of videos or pictures, I sometimes avoid my bathroom mirror to avoid seeing my face, I don’t think there’s anybody that can tell me anything about beauty to make me believe I’m not ugly. (link)
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There really should be ZERO anxiety or feelings of shame by reaching out to your doctor. Your doctor is absolutely your best friend and advocate on this.
They will help you get the right treatment and on to the path of wellness where you will overtime attain the level of self-esteem you have always wanted. If you don't tell your doctor you can't heal and would continue suffering needlessly. It may be hard to do but once you pour your heart out to them things will get better for you.
The only person who can help you is a doctor because they have to figure out what the trigger is/was for all this self-hatered and psychologically what drives it and how long you have felt this way. Honestly, nobody here and other that a medical practitioner and perhaps a psychiatrist if need be can tellyou if this is body dismorphia or something else.
When it comes to self-diagnosing you'll drive yourself bonkers with it and scare the shit out of yourself with the discriptions on the Internet put that aside.
A doctor is used to hearing all kinds of concerns some of them more embarassing than others for patients and are pretty good with teens and pre-teens and hell even adults at putting you at ease and genuinely helping.
If talking about this is difficult I suggest calling for an appointment and saying it's about body image and no self-esteem. Then when you go the doctor will know the issue and start the conversation with you.
One of the best things you can do is actually print out you letter to us and ask your doctor to read from it and let them ask you questions and get things started. Also, if you have a parent, adult you trust or a sibling that could go with you and help you feel calmer that's certainly okay too.
I guarentee you that you're more beautiful inside and out than this mental disturbance is suggesting you are. Know who you are inside and keep reminding yourself of that truth.
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Who can provide the Best Sociology Homework Help Online Service ? (link)
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Perhaps if you told us what your assignment is about and the instructions your teacher gave we might be able to hep you understand it better. We can't do your homework for you but if you tell us about the assignment we can give general ideas to help you complete it on your own. Hit my colum's inbox up later.
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Recently, my dad got a phone call from a random woman in China asking him to ask my mom to "stay away from her husband." My mom explained the situation to us. Apparently, the woman's husband had previously pursued her in college (he wrote a love letter??? My mom didn't respond to it though, but I think she should have just rejected it outright), and about 5 years ago, at a college reunion, she was added to a group chat with all her friends including the guy. They all chatted, you know how reunions go, and he started spouting that he missed their time together in college and all that flowery nonsense. He also alluded to still having feelings for her?!? (I know, what a douche) And then his wife found out, used his phone, texted my mom, trying to befriend her. My mom was understandably totally weirded out. She told the woman she was sorry, but she was very busy and didn't have time to chat, and promptly unfriended the dude (This was all on WeChat, not over text, actually). This was 5 years ago. Last November, as you all know, COVID-19 hit China. So my mom texted her friends asking if they wanted her to send masks to them, and the same dude she unfriended texted her, saying thanks. She told him you're welcome, but forgot to unfriend him again (in case you didn't know how WeChat works, the person you unfriend can still text you, but you need to re-add them as a friend, text them, and then unfriend them again to tell them anything). His wife, probably snooping on his phone again, flipped out, and started texting my mom, saying, "how could you do this to me," and "I was so friendly to you, I can't believe this" and all that jazz. My mom promptly unfriended the weirdo again. She didn't tell my dad though, she probably just thought the woman was psycho and ignored her and forgot all about it. This afternoon, my dad got the call from the woman (Literally don't know how she even got his number). He was understandably confused and upset, and confronted my mom. She explained the situation, and he did blame the dude, but he also said that she should have just ignored him when he thanked her for the masks. I agree with my dad that she probably should have just ignored him, but he was getting super loud and angry about it, and I don't think this situation was really her fault? But I'm speaking as a fellow woman and from an outside POV. Should my dad blame my mom? I think that psycho couple clearly has some problems and my mom just got dragged into this mess, but again, I'm biased. What do you think? (link)
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Added Info on October 18/2020:
I should also mention that if someone threatens you or harasses you to no end that it's actually legal provided one party (you in ths case) knows about a call being taped for that reason. You can use a small tape recorder and a device a spy shop or a Radio Shack has for that purpose. This is how reporters do their phone interviews for example. You can then give that recording to the cops as proof of the threats.
Originals
The best thing to do is log every single message that has come through over that app and write down date and time of call and what was said on paper. Ignore the messages and see if they'll go away if they don't get responded to. Nobody answer the phone to anyone whose number you don't know. I would get rid of that app all together and tell your parents to stay off social media and not talk to anyone from China.
If there ever is a serious threat made to safety or they harass the heck out of your parents and yourself go to the police about it and get their advice on what to do and or to see if they feel there is anything criminal about the harassment. If someone threatens their safety or yours than all bets are off on reporting it to them.
This person likely is benign but has a mental-health issue and a bug in her head about your mother or father and maybe others she knows for that matter and is going after people online with irrationality and delusions. You have to be aware of that and not give any contact or reaction back. Hopefully they will move on.
If it's a 24/7 non-stop issue with this person harassing them with calls, emails, texts or whatever than police usually look at that with you but I'm not sure how they'll nab someone in another country for it. Hopefully, if you proceed in this manner the person will cease doing this.
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hello i work with this guy who looks at me all the time. one day he came up to me and introduced himself to me and i got kinda nervous, i didn\'t say much haha. \r\ni was wondering what kind of signals to send to this guy at work to talk to me but with being very busy at work i find it very hard to approach him. there are times i\'m not near him to say anything to him.\r\nwhat can i do? he\'s always staring at me so i\'m thinking he\'s interested. it\'s really hard to approach him when i\'m in different areas at my job and may not get a chance to see him.\r\nthe most we really have done is say hi to each other and after that i\'m not sure how to go about it more lol.\r\nhe\'s probably in his 30s like me and it\'s really impossible to get near him since i\'m not always bear him. Any suggestions? i mean he\'s always looking at me from across the room. i want to poke his eyes out to do something lol and i or he needs to break the ice. i was hoping he would make a move but maybe I should break the ice? (link)
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When you see him again ask if he would be free some time for coffee. If he's interested in you which seems to be the case he will come up with something that works for the both of you. This actually protects you because asking for coffee doesn't mean "date" always because colleagues meet over coffee a lot. This just is a feel eachother out moment to see how you click and what is there.
There's nothing at all wrong with mentioning to him that you're getting mixed signals or vibes and are at a loss to know what's happening. It's best to find out and this is a safe way to do so that won't to him look like confrontation which isn't what you want. It seems you're as interested as he is.
Just remember that guys also feel intimidated to approach women for fear of rejection too. They hear because they are traditionally in the asking role "no" a heck of a lot. If he likes you he may be fearful of you being aware and also what would happen in the office or with job if you took to him wrong. If he's staring at you all the time his body language is indicating what he can't say to you.
Just ask for coffee and go from there as that's your ice breaker right there. If someone is interested in you they'll do anything to accept your invite and be there. If he blows off this request than you know there's nothing there. The worst thing that could happen is him saying no.
There's this whole other thing about his job and being professional in the workplace. He might think if he approached you and you didn't like the staring that things could get really bad there. However, if you approach him and show interest over coffee and he responds to it than you know you both have same intentions.
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I am 16 years old, (almost 17), and I am really sad that I haven't started driving yet, but I refuse to start until my parents can prove to me that they will treat me like older kid when I start driving. They make me walk my dog with my 13 and 11 year old siblings (yes it's true), and they make me sit in the backseat of the car so my 13 year old sibling can get the front seat over me (again, yes you read that correctly), all while claiming that they'll be just as fair as any other parent when their kid starts driving. I also have a job, so how can I make sure they will trust me with a car (that I will pay for) when I start driving? (link)
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You sound entitled. I'm being blunt here because you're acting like they owe you something you haven't earned yet. They don't have to prove themselves to you over anything. It's the other way around. If you want to be treated like a grownup you have to consistently deliver in your actions and decision making.
An adult won't care where they sit in the car. They may have a preference but are not going to be at odds with an 11-year-old and 13-year-old kid. They'll give up the seat knowing that it's no worth disputing and the destination is the same.
Also, refusing to start learning how to drive and not studying the guides or applying for a learner's license if eligible isn't hurting them any but is you. You could show them you are an adult by doing that much and working hard towards a goal ie being able to contribute to car payments.
It's the silent things we do to earn trust and not what we overtly do to get attention that makes parents extend trust. You have to continually work for it sincerely and it will be given to you. Parents can see when it's false or being done to get something from them and don't like it.
You have to stop expecting or thinking you're owed all this trust or aren't getting your fair share because they can sense you feel entitled to something they need you to earn. Prove yourself to be an adult in the ways above.
You're supposed to walk your dog and doing so takes responsibility for him/her or something else. You're also setting an example to your younger siblings about caring for something other than self. That's not too much of anyone to ask.
The thing is your parents probably do trust you on some level and feel they are being fair but that you're wanting too much from them. Your other issue is with your siblings and what attention you think they should or shouldn't receive.
In short, study a drivers handbook and get your permit to learn and be set to go. That shows to your parents you're making adult decisions and should be trusted more. Do things without being asked re: dog and get along with your siblings. Give up the seat if need be. Also, put aside that money which you'll all be proud of later.
Understand that 11 and 13-year-old kids are that just kids and that as an adult though you may not like something they do that you don't make an issue or worse fight out of it. Let your parents discipline and choose the arrangement. In the end if you do these things with sincerity and not for show or to get anything in particular you'll find yourself with another level of respect having earned it correctly.
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I am 18 male from India.I have a neighbour friend of mine (we know each other sonce 7 years) who I take evening walks with. Recently my friend got in a relationship with a girl who was in the same college of mine. He told me about his relationship. The thing is that even I want to get into a relationship as I am tired of being single. But my progress is leading me to nowhere. Furthermore the sexual tension between him and the girl is high so he might get to see some 'action' soon. They bonded quickly within three weeks and here the chances of me getting in a relationship is less. They bonded so much that he even knows her cousins and her distant family members. In other words I am simply jealous of him entering in a relationship. Also when I hear his incidents or anecdotes with her I don't feel like hearing them. I literally feel bad and low and I was about to cry. How do I deal with this? (link)
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The right person is going to enter your life eventually. While it's hard to see a friend have something you want badly for yourself you need to know that a relationship has to be with the right person or it's not going to last.
I mention that because I think things are going too fast with your friend and this relationship. I say this because you're just hearing about this and suddenly he knows her entire family and the bond was very fast. I also think he's put an emphasis on sex and getting action soon and not much else.
Also, people who brag about that kind of thing or desire and uncomfortable personal things about a relatonship often don't have a good one and are seeking approval of you. If you feel uncomfortable about talking about it than let him know where you stand. It may not make you popular but it's right to do. Tell him you wouldn't talk about someone who was your GF in that manner.
In your case you need to work on being open to everyone you meet especially women your age. Show everyone through actions what a good person and choice you are. Also, forget about type or someone looking a certain way and focus on the qualities that they possess that make them a great partner. Don't overlook anyone who may be under your nose because they seem on surface to be plain. That's how you will find a solid relationship with a lasting partner.
I don't know what life is like in India however, there must be clubs for young people at school or student government or something where you can meet people who are different as well as same as you and that may lead to finding friends and a partner. Anything involving drama or acting at school is also good because you get to work with people from an assortment of backgrounds.
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About 5 years ago, a friend of mine in order to gain weight after several asthma attack, her cousin told her to use xasten ( it contains dexamethasone) . She said it will help her gain weight.
She ignorantly went to the pharmacy to buy and used it for months without medical supervision, she did gain weight but later on she noticed one side of her face is bigger than the other, she stopped it immediately and the weight started to reduce till she was skinny but still one side of her face is still bigger than the other even tho there is no more fat on her face.
So recently she started gaining weight without using any drug but the face still bother her (link)
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This is something that really has to be brought to the attention of a doctor and the sooner the better. She has to know exactly what is going on with her health. It surprises me she hasn't been already considering one side of her face is really puffed up versus what her normal cheeks look like on the other side.
She shouldn't even be taking it PERIOD! This medication is not for asthma or gaining weight. It has a lot of nasty side-effects and potentially life-threatening interactions with other medicine. She has no business taking it. You can read more about this here: https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-1027-5021/dexamethasone-oral/dexamethasone-oral/details
She has been misuing it and needs to stop immediately and see her doctor. A doctor isn't there to judge and it's confidential unless she is harming herself or others parents don't need to know but damn good idea if they do.
The doctor will know what needs to be done about her face puffing up but I'm scared for her that there's more going on with her physical health that you can't see because of abusing this drug. She has to find out what damage has been done so things don't go a lot farther and hurt her even worse. Take the puffy face as a real warning sign and get her butt into a doctor's office or emergency room if they can't see patients due to COVID. It's playing with fire to continue doing what she has done.
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I have to attend my cousin's wedding next week and I have to look great and unique, kindly share some excellent and unique trends to follow while attending the wedding ceremony.
(link)
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You should consult your mother about this because she may have a better idea of what you should wear to your cousin's wedding and can plan something. Having said that, a general rule is NOT to wear anything white that could draw attention away from the bride's dress and clash.
What to wear really depends on a dress code and whether or not she's going formal, semi-formal or doesn't care as long as you look put together and respectable. In general you shouldn't buy a dress that anyone could misread as sexy, flashy or too much of an attention grabber. You can look great but being unique may be the wrong way to go. At a wedding you're pretty much there to blend in so the more casual your look is probably better. I wouldn't wear red or anything shiny either.
Here's an article that talks about this kind of thing. https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/06/entertainment/eddie-van-halen-dead/index.html
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Is too much quality time bad? I've been dating my bf for 2 months and we've been seeing eachother almost everyday. While I love him, and do enjoy his company I find myself feeling irritated over the small and dumbest thing. And I feel terrible because he's so sweet to me. Is it normal to want alone time with myself and other friends too? How should I bring this up? (link)
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Hell yes! You both need to have your own interests and time to self. That's healthy and extremely necessary. If you spend 24/7 together especially with the COVID-19 situation you'll definetly have anger and frustration toward one another.
A reasonable individual will understand this need and he will likely see that he requires it himself. It doesn't mean either of you love eachother less either. There should be no guilt in telling him you want to see him but can't do it daily because of commitments and needing time you used to have for that.
That's all that need be said. He knows you need a life as does he apart from the relationship. All will be fine. Let him know friends want you to go out and you haven't seen them since quarrantine.
Now, the issue is what will you do with the time you have? It's difficult with COVID. Perhaps you could do an online course and learn a new skill or find something you're passionate about that you can do at home perhaps art or photography or writing. See what is out there for you. It's a healthy thing because you may find something about yourself or a talent you didn't know you had this way or write and create something deep and meaningful.
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I'm 19/f. We recently had a storm and it knocked out a lot of people's internet. My friend called me and asked if I can come over and fix her internet for her. She used to be my roommate so I usually helped her fix things in the apartment, but I never set up someone's internet before and I really didn't know how to do it. I told her that I can't, and that maybe she should call the cable company so they can send out a technician. She then asked if I can call the cable company myself and let them walk me through it so that I can fix it. But this sounded ridiculous to me because I didn't want to touch the wires and mess things up even more, and I also felt like she could call them herself, so I told her I couldn't do it. She kept begging me, but I told her several times that I didn't know how to fix it. Eventually she gave up and she hung up the phone on me. After that, I didn't hear from her for over a week, which is strange because she usually calls me almost everyday. I called her and she didn't answer, she just texted back saying she was busy and she'll call me later. I think she's mad at me, but I don't think it's my fault that I couldn't fix it. I also think she takes advantage of me sometimes. When I tell her no she usually argues with me until I say yes. I wish she would just appreciate all the things I did for her in the past instead of being mad at me. What should I do? (link)
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Some friend! If she's mad at you over this and tries to manipulate you to do what she wants you're in big trouble. She knows she can get you to do anything and that she can walk all over you. That's not what a friend does.
People will continue and not just her to take advantage of you until you dig your heels in and stick to the word NO. You are better off without people like this but it seems evident you're holding on to her for some reason.
I would ignore her for a bit and if she comes around tell her that she's a lousy friend and that you will not allow yourself to be manipulated anymore into doing anything you don't want to. Make sure she gets that. Tell her going further that if you say NO to any situation that either she accept that or find someone else to take advantage of.
You need to stand up for yourself for once and have your roar heard that you're not going to be messed around. Next about the Internet tell her "Do I look like I work for Verizon or something? I'm not a technician and I'm not going to blank around and make it ten times worse. Tell her to call her own technician and listen on the phone for what to do.
I have a feeling this person has had everything done for them their whole life by parents and doesn't know how to handle anything that comes up. She's not mature. She's content on relying on others to do or get what she wants. There's a reason you don't live with her anymore. She's a pill and has zero idea of that.
Nothing here is your fault for saying NO and that you can't fix something you know nothing about. If she can't see past that I would end the friendship as dealing with her will be a constant challenge.
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I’m literally damn near in tears over this, I’m menstruating, and this major problem just keeps dragging me into my depression. I’m 15 soon to be 16 in October, and I have yet to get some characteristics from a secondary puberty. I have pubic hair but my breast seem to be stuck in time, flat as possible and my hips haven’t spread at all. I doubt it’s my genes, my mom and sister aren’t flat chested, I’m unsure of malnutrition. I definitely am not open to plastic surgery when I’m older, if I go on birth control I may get no results. Also all the women in my family are nothing near flat chested so really feel like there has to be something wrong with me. I feel hopeless and really depressed at the thought of my breasts being this size forever, I also know that I’m fixated on my breast size so being flat chested as I am, and not doing anything about it, is impossible. Any advice or helpful information? (link)
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This could be a medical issue called failure to thrive. This is where you are unable to grow in terms of height, weight as well as develop properly at rate of peers. This can occur in people who have issues with eating and malnutrition but doesn't have to include that factor.
This could be the reason menstruation, puberty etc seems to be delayed or it could be indicator of another medical issue that hasn't been diagnosed yet. The best thing you could do for yourself is to find an understanding family doctor to discuss everything you mentioned in your question and get an assement or referal to the currect specailist who can figure out what is going on and what you can expect.
You need to do this because this issue is something that has continuously plagued you and destroyed your self-image and your mental health is suffering. You really need to see a doctor who can help you or get you on the path to answers and feeling good about yourself.
No matter how you may look physically you have to see that it doesn't define who you are or true beauty. I know it's hard when everyone else seems to have developed already and you want to be exactly like your peers. Definetly speak to a doctor as soon as possible.
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I am a home health aide and I recently started working with a new family. There is another aide that works there and she's been there for 3 years. I noticed that the family told me to wear my mask, but they didn't ask her to. Now, I know that she's been there longer than me, but I really don't get the logic of that. Doesn't she have to go home to her family everyday as well, and then expose this family to whoever she's been around? I mean, she doesn't live there. I have no problem wearing my mask, but I'm just confused about why she doesn't have to. Am I wrong to think this way? It's been two weeks and I'm still wearing my mask while she is not. Thanks for the advice (link)
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What this boils down to is that they have been around her every day for 3 years and she is essentially part of an established "bubble" if you will. They don't believe that they can get COVID-19 off of her as a result of always being around her.
You, on the other hand are new and they don't know your activities or who you are in contact with and are being very careful. They think because you are new that you need to wear the mask and not her. The only other reason would be that she has a breathing or other medical problem making wearing a mask difficult.
If you have been asked to wear a mask do so. It won't kill you. It may save you from COVID or inadvertently giving it while asymptomatic. It's protection and just cloth. It's being selfless and that's how you have to approach it whether someone else wears one or not. Batman wears a mask. Masks are cool.
I wouldn't worry about this at all but continue to wear your mask to reman employed and until they say something about you no longer needing it. They're requiring it because they don't you plain and simple and see a risk of COVID. They also may have looked at your age and made assumptions too. The other person which you haven't told us may be a lot older. It's assumed that young people don't take COVID or masks or restrictions seriously. If you do it's a bit of an anomaly and that's what they worry over hence the mask.
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I'm 20/f. I have social anxiety, so whenever I meet new people my voice shakes and I feel so nervous. This is embarrassing because I want to appear like a strong, confident person but instead I feel like I'm timid or weak. I always worry about what people's first impressions of me are. How can I be more relaxed when meeting new people? (link)
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You can't control what anyone thinks of you but you can influence it. If you show people you are genuine and interested in knowing them and are friendly and put yourself out there a bit you'll get results. If you come across as timid or worse unapproachable you'll have issues. Be open to everyone and talk to people you are interested in knowing. The thing is they're all as shy or concerned with what others think too.
If you're too concerned with what others may or may not think about you you'll drive yourself bonkers. It's something you have no control over and being too concerned with it hurts you in the end. Don't worry about it because the people you're supposed to be friends with won't judge.
The thing you need to do is find a therapist to talkto about this issue and get help with making friends and over your fear of rejection. You also need to join student council or clubs where you can meet all kinds of people who are different than you. Those clubs or student government forces you to connect with people you ordinarily wouldn't.
Drama and improv courses are good too because they teach you problem solving skills and how to work with people you don't know or who are different to reach a set of goals. I'm not sure if they have taken it online but Second City has a social anxiety improv class as do some other theater companies. It doesn't have to be an expensive course because they're all good for accomplishing what you need to without judgment.
Also, there must be people under your nose that you haven't noticed or thought could be potential friends. You should reach out to them because quite often people who also need friends are the most sincere and best matches.
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I'm a twenty year old former college student. As a freshman, I became friends with a couple girls in my dorm who were dealing Adderall and Ritalin to people using them as study aids. I allowed myself to get talked into helping them deal. Long story short, we eventually got caught, expelled, and are now facing criminal charges.
The prosecution is offering a plea deal. In exchange for a guilty plea, I'll only have to do a year in jail. I plan to accept the deal. It's definitely a lighter sentence than what I'll be facing if I try and fight the charges and lose.
My parents don't want me to plead out. They want me to fight the charges, despite knowing I'm guilty. But as I said, I don't want to risk being in jail for years. Besides, I should take responsibility for my actions.
I know no one wants to see their only daughter in jail, but I really need for my parents to support my decision. Any advice on how I can help them to see my point of view? For the record, I plan to plead guilty whether they support it or not. But it'll definitely make doing the time easier knowing they have my back, if that makes sense. (link)
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Consult your lawyer they know what is best for your future and what deal to take. Your parents do not. Your lawyer will know if this is the right deal to save you from stronger punishment or not. It seems established that this is what you have to do but double check with them. One can understand your parents but fighting this may not wind up favorable and lead to more time as you said.
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So I decided to put toothpaste on my clit because it's all someone do it on p****** is it safe and I already done it I'm about to rinse it off what should I do (link)
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You can get an infection and quite possibly thrush from this. I have read that some women are misled into thinking putting it there can tiighten vagina or bring pleasure. It can't and it doesn't. It can leave you highly irritatted down there. It messes with the natural PH balance. The vagina is self cleansing and the clitoris super sensitive. I would definetly bathe and never try that again as it can cause damage and issues you don't want especially down there.
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I tend to get depressed, but I don't really know why. My therapist said it has to do with the fact that my dad was an alcoholic growing up. My childhood felt very unstable and there was a lot of arguing in my house. My dad finally got help a few years ago and he stopped drinking, so we have a better relationship now. I also moved out, so I thought having my own place would give me peace and calmness. However, I still feel this sadness hanging over me, especially when I'm in my apartment alone. I always longed for that happy family life where we did things together and had fun. However, my family and I are not very close and I never feel like I have their support, which makes me very sad. I also live in the same neighborhood where I grew up so I have a lot of bad memories from my childhood. I'm wondering if maybe I just need a change of scenery, like if I moved far away from here and started fresh would my depression go away? I'm trying to figure out what's going on (link)
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The therapist may be right but it's not the full story. I would approach your family doctor the soonest you can get in. Tell them exactly what you told us leaving nothing left unsaid. You may have depression and need treated for it. It's a medical issue and nothing of your making.
You should keep a chart of how often you go from happy to the absolute lowest you're feeling and write down in a ledger exactly what you feel in that instance. This helps them figure out how often you swing from one to the other. It rules out bipolar disorder and other mental health issues and establishes how rapid your moods shift and why. They will be able to figure out exactly what is going on whereas the therapist can't.
There are definetly issues even if depressed that you haven't been able to process or cope with surrounding your dad's addiction. When talking to a doctor or your therapist reach out to them for support groups and other resources and let them empower you as you need to let all of it out and have support of people who understand and have lived that too.
If you have depression a change of residence won't change what is going on with an illness but combined with treatment may make you happier. I think you also have to get empowered to the point that you can deal with your family situation and start to heal yourself and in turn them by leading by example.
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I will try to make this short...
My brother (52) still lives at home with my mother. (79) Obviously he has mental issues, but, yes has been able to hold down a job, (for over 30 years until the company closed down) drive, (he has a CDL) as well as many other things. He cant, however, do laundry, change a lightbulb, or even pick his mother up from the hospital when she was discharged...the reason? "He's too nervous" my mother says. He obviously has mental issues that were never formally diagnosed. She covers for him all the time and babys him to a ridiculous extent...Anyway, bottom line is that when she dies, he will have no where to live. I have tried MANY times to discuss this with her, to have a plan, but she blows me off and doesn't want to hear it...today she told me that he could live in the house after she goes, but there is no way he could even afford half the bills. (he currently mows lawns). She informed me that he could have the money in her account. That is a very temporary fix, would run out in 6 months, not to mention a slap in the face for me and my sister. Any advise would be greatly appreciated! (link)
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While you may be right that he has mental health issues the thing is you really can't determine that without a psychiatrist diagnosing them. Perhaps he does as you said but the behavior he exhibits could be for other reasons and not because he is mentally ill.
Your mother is the one who knows the real score with him and protects him because nobody else can. I agree that he should at 52-years-old have been taught a long time ago how to change a lightbulb, do his own laundry etc. As far as her claim goes that e was too nervous to get in a car and pick her up it may be valid. If he has fear of crowds, people, situations and could have a panic attack for example he's better off at home if that's the issue.
Then again, he held a job for 30 years without issue. If he has long suspected behavior consistent with mental illness and you feel it's ruining his life and affecting yours say something about it to your mother, him and family that it needs to be addressed. Make it known you can't and won't take care of him financially or otherwise and want a plan so he will be taken care of when she's gone. It's a resaonable request but expect some blow back.
You could mention this to someone else in the family that your mom trusts and see if they can talk to her about the reality he will face when she's no longer there and that there may be mental illness that could be diagnosed and make his life so much better.
You have to understand at 79-years-old your mom has known for decades how your brother is and what he's dealing with and is very protective of him. There may be a lot she's looked the other way on to protect him and her relationship with him. She knows other people may not understand her choices.
If you had a child you loved and someone said something negative even if trying to help about their behavior or mental health you would probably react as she did in blowing you off.
I think you should get your sister and other family members together with her to talk about how your brother will be cared for, his mental and physical health and work together for the same goal and let her know there's no money from you or your sister for him and that the bank account she referenced cannot sustain him long term.
Also, leave any judgment out of it. If he has mental health issues that aren't being taken care of try to get a real grasp on how it's like to live through that lens and fog. It completely engulfs a person when/if they're sick like that. It seems to me there's anomosity there with you and your sister over him. Whatever happens it's best to chuck it and see certain behaviors aren't who he really is. If he has problems hopefully he gets helped to make the situation better for himself and those in his life second.
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I am a sixteen year old girl in high school and there is a guy I have liked for about two years now. It’s been an on and off thing because we have both dates other people but something always brings me back to my feelings for him. I have never told him that I like him and he has never told me either, but the way we have been acting with each other seems like there’s something going on. But the thing is, I’m not really his usual type so I don’t know. He broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago and he wasn’t upset about it plus he wouldn’t tell me the reason. He has been sending small signals but he is a flirty person in general so I don’t know if I am reading into this too far or if it is really happening. How can I find out if he likes me or not without telling him I like him and is it too soon to date him if I find out he does? (link)
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The thing is he's as shy as you are and like you doesn't want to put his neck out there at least not yet. You would be wise to read his signals and feelings that he has for her and she does for him. They need a grace period. If you admitted your feelings now or tried to get him to date you now it's going to at least piss the other girl off and create a potential enemy there and jealousy.
See if they try to patch things up. If you appear to be in the middle of them having a chance to do that guess what? You've got both of them not liking you. Instead I would play the part of a friend and someone who listens and when this whole relationship thing he had settles down mention to him that you want to know how he defines your place in his life? Ask if he's looking to date you or not. It's a direct question and perfectly okay to ask. You need to know where you stand because you're reading signals. If you think it will work go after him.
There's no 100% positive way to know if anyone likes you unless you put yourself out there and tell them that you've noticed signals and if interested you are too. No risk no reward situation. You're also adults so you need to be direct and honest with each other and not fall in to playing a game where nobody knows for sure what they want by waiting. You can get real hurt doing that.
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Hi Im a teenager from the Philippines and I've liked a boy since we were in elementary school. We've never really talked that much in real life but we used to talk all the time through social media about random things. We both went to different high schools and still talked after that, but one day he started to just see my messages and not reply to them until an hour later. I then knew that he was interested in a classmate of his in his new class and started to ignore me for the next several days. He probably felt nothing for ignoring me but for me it was the most painful thing that he has ever done to me. Until today I've been deep in sadness and he still doesnt chat me. Should I cut ties with him or tell him what I feel? (link)
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The problem is there really wasn't a connection with him beyond social media and no friendship in real world. From his perspective that's how he's viewed you. To him the fact he stops talking to you isn't upsetting him because you really didn't interact in real life. He doesn't see this as going against you and has moved on.
Also, you can't take it personally if someone doesn't message you back immediately or within the timeline you want. There's a lot of things going on in every person's life. Being replied to within an hour is great and shows he cared enough. The issue is that maybe you sent messages too often or even too long or came across as clingy.
He might be into a different classmate and not you because there's a long standing in person connection and attraction. The fact is he probably never knew that you liked him this long and feel bad.
It hurts but it's best to understand that there was not much of a friendship or connection in that time and that he found someone else. Would I cut him out of your life? If I were you I would not. He really hasn't done anything horrendous or directly to you. Having him as a friend is better than an enemy or not.
I would go about your business and be cordial and see what happens as you never know something could develop in future but he may not be in to you in that way. I would leave the messenging alone or refrian from contacting him and let him come to you. Someone who wants to be friends or have that kind of connection will always come back eventually and if you see he isn't it means he's not interested. That's not such a bad thing as it means there's someone else for you out there but he's the wrong guy.
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