BrokenWings's advice column

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Female

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London, UK

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Student

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Member Since:

June 3, 2005

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September 26, 2009

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about

I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

This is really really iffy. My family obviously thinks that: homosexuals are a disgrace and they're ruining the world and that they should die before they spread their "diseas" to other people and I know that's complete bs. I'm in 9th grade and my friends who I'm going to talk about are in 9th and 10th grade. I'm bi and I have about 10 bi friends and 3 gay friends. I can't tell my family the truth about all my friends because they'll say "You are not to associate with them in any way shape or form..stay away from them" etc and I won't be able to hang out with them anymore. My best friend who is gay and I are really close along with my other gay friend. I can't go over to their houses at all alon ebecause my mom thinks they'll stone me and rape me. And I can't say that they're gay and so either way I can't hang out with my gay guy friends. I like this girl at school and I want to ask her out but that's complicated because I have some friends at school that know and will tell my sister if they found out about my orientation. So I really don't know what to do. I can't talk about it with my family because they'll just get mad at me and yell at me for being a heretic from the family...and I'm just frustrated with this situation because I'm so tied down...what do I do?!?!

well it depends on your age what you should do, and im not being agist, just theres different ways around it.
If you're young enough to be too young for your parents to kick you out of the house, tell them you're bi. Ok at first they might stop your allowence or ground you or something but they've got to come round to it eventually, and when they've got used to it you can tell them about your friends and it wont be such a shock.
If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house but really dont want to be, dont tell them just yet, wait till you dont need to depend on them because otherwise its just going to be harder. I know thats just keeping information and not being true to yourself or whatever, butttt its really not in your interests to tell them
If you're old enough to support yourself, then go for it, theres nothing they can do.

Hope its all good hun xxxxx