khadiya's advice column

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Q: 16/f
hi. i'm 5'6 like 116 llbs. i feel REALLY fat. like i really need to lose weight. and my mom has been telling me that i need to lose like 5-10 llbs. but yeah so anyways i want to start losing weight like before spring break/the summer. i'm playing water polo.. so thats a good work out. and i'm gonna start running at the club whenever i can.. but what else can i do? also.. does anyone have any like good diet plans that are free? like exactly what you should eat every day? i know like the basic things like don't eat a lot of junk food.. etc. i just cant stick to that kinda thing. i need like a strict diet telling me exactly what to eat and how much of it. thanks!

Um yea do me a favor and dont. Your mom is crazy, Thats normally body size for a girl your age. If you have a little gut or something do some crunches. Losing weight is not the answer. I am 5'5 and I weigh 114 so I know for a fact you arent that big. Tell your mom to get over it. And look at people around you thats your height and age most of them are probably obese.

Q: whats expected when you make out?
tips?

Its just kissing. And maybe a touch and feel. French kissing open mouth kissing. Let the person your kissing be take the lead since you dont know, because you really dont need to play thumb wars with your tongues.

Q: so saturday night i went to a senior party im a freshman and i dont no any of the seniors. but my friends i came with know them. basicly i got rreally drunk and made a HUGE fool of myself. like i did stuf fi would have never have done. i didnt go to school the following monday and i hear the seniors were looking for me and planning on giving me a hard time!!!!!!!!

im am so scared and really i am just crying my eyes out.

if the seniors said anything to me i would start crying on the spot. please help me!!!!!

Chances are, they have been there done that. Just laugh about it with them. Then they wont have a reason to pick on you if they see that you think its funny.

Q: Okay me and my girl are very happy together and I love her to death. We have sex as often as possible for as long as possible. We've had sex for seven hours on a couple of occasions. She likes it when I throw her into different positions and she likes it kindve rough. All that's fine but I'm starting to run out of ideas and I don't want her to be bored. Really nothings off limits here so be as imaginative as you want to be. Tips and hints are always welcome too. Thanks

Since I dont want to get in trouble for answering this, I would say the best thing to do is purchase a Karma Sutra. Its a sex book. Its sold in the book store, you may have to be 18 to buy it but im not sure. It has every damn position you can think of and more.

Q: i heard there's like an airbrush spray 4 legs
where can i get sum
does it rub off when i sit or sumtin

Ok whomever answer this question saying somethin about the hardware store gotta be pretty stupid.
They sell the stuff at walmart. If you let it dry properly no it will not come off.

Q: PLEASE HELP! I love my boyfriend sooo much and i dont know what to do. im moving in 3 months and he and i have best friends forever and liked each other off and on the whole time but only recently started dating. the thing is i just told him i am officially moving thursday but he knew there was a high possibility for 2 months. he almost cried when i told him and he is NOT emotional. the problem is i need him to be there for me and he isnt. he is acting like he doesnt care even tho he says he does and a thing of mine is dont believe what a boy says but what he does. and what hes doing and what hes saying are two different things. i need him-i really, really need him. hes always been there before but now hes not. hes my best friend and my other best friends are helping me but they are also hurting. im trying to be strong for my bf, my little siblings, my parents, and my friends but i CANT. Its so hard and i need him. I know I have God (im a strong Christian) but i need my bf. hes always been there to help me when i had problems with God, my friends and my family and now he just isnt. he is acting like he doesnt care and i need him to show me he cares now more than ever! i tried telling him this and i think hes starting to understand but he said he doesnt know what to do. i understand this and i kno its hard for him but its even harder for me! what should i do??? and i only see him like once a week so i wont see him again until friday. please help cause i love him and im trying to be strong for him and everyone but i really need him to help me. i was breaking down today (the first time in front of him) and he tried to help but then was like i have to go do hw sry. i kno its soo hard for him but i still need him. im trying not to be selfish and help him but i need him! thanks so much and i will rate

He is probably acting like this because he doesnt actually now how to react to the situation. As the time gets closer he will probably pull away from you more because he doesnt know hoe to react to you leaving. Dont take it as him not caring take it as him not knowing how to express himself.

Q: what is considered a large,medium,and small
penis in inches

thanks

like wow. Depends on the girl. Different girls have different opinions.
Me? I'd say large is between 8 -10
Medium- 6 1/2-8
small everything under.

But they aren't just based on that. They are also based on the thickness. so even if you have a large one in length, if you dont have any width, then whats the point??

Q: how can you get rid of athletes foot
?!? HELPP

They have medicated powder, and sprays for this. If your broke, look up a homeopathic cure online.

Q: I've been with my boyfriend since the beginning of January. He's the first serious guy I've been with. Gosh I love him so much. He's a sophomore, I'm a junior. He told me he is leaving in July to finish high school in a city 2.5 hours away. He said that finishing high school there would earn him a 2 year associate's degree along the way (it's a special program). I couldn't take it. I told him if he's sure he is leaving, I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want him getting my hopes up with "I love you"'s and kissing. He's basically leaving my life forever in a few short months.

Someone please help me. I'm very sad about this because I love him SO much and he doesn't seem to care! *tear*

If you love him like you say you do you wouldnt have givin that ultimatum. Do you not think that your relationship could survive a short distance of 2 and a half hours? Or did he say he isnt ever coming back? Becuase if he said he isnt ever coming back then yes it may be good to leave him. But How do you love someone after two months?

Q: Heres the story: Friday I was getting gas at this gas station and then all of a sudden my boyfriend appears and he starts talking to me, earlier friday i was pissed at him becasue he told me he stoped smoking pot, then he gave his pipe to one my friends and i asked him why he didn't throw it away a long time ago, because i asked him to stop like 4 months ago. His answer was i don't know, then i heard he was gonna smoke so i asked him and he said he didn't have any weed or else he would have. This got me so mad becasue if its in front of him he will do it, it shows weakness and he gives into pressure and i don't like that. So anyways, we started talking about this at the gas station and we both got mad, so i wanted to get into my car and go, but he blocked the door, we start talking again and i got all scared because i thought he was gonna hit me (he hit his dad before and knocked him out) so i walked towards my door again and he still wouldn't let me in. I got so scared, i thought he was gonna hurt me, and the look on his face scared me so bad. Fnally i got into my car and left, and went to my friends house and was shaking and kinda crying and i couldn't sleep becasue i thought he was gonna come over there and kill me. So today i talked to him and he said he wasn't in a violent mood he was just upset and he told me how he changed and stuff so i said okay one more chance. Quesiton: But was the a good descion? This is the second time he has scared me like that, and all my friends tell me that i should end it becsaue i will end up getting hurt, physically. and this is the 4th chance i have given him becasue he has done other things behind my back and stuff.
Questions: so what do i do? was that a good descion or should i have just ended it? please i need help!

LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY!!

If you ever feel like your in danger of being hit by a man chances are he will hit you.

No more chances baby girl. Its so many good men out there that dont smoke and would never lay a hand on you. You can do so much better.
Just think about it, if he hit his dad and thats family, what makes you think that he wont hit you? Your just his girlfriend.

Q: Hey all!! I'm a girl, 16 and I really want to make my hair look more cute, sexy, whatever. All my life I have been the cute girl, but never the one that guys wanted to be with. Mainly because I have had self issues. My teeth are/was bad, but I now just got braces and I feel so much more confident. I have been trying to dress more cute and girly, but I have no idea for my hair. I will be getting it cut next month after prom, until then can you guys give me some cute ideas for my hair now? I will still like to dress "comfy" but I want my hair looking cute still. So is there any way I can dress "bummy"
but still have cute hair? (pictures?)

here is my hair now.

if that one doesn't work, heres another link

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m63/Samantha_kay_42/l_9c660cbfeb6c7a56eb2a5cd82752755c.jpg

Ideas for now?

&& what do you think I should get my hair cut like next?(pictures)

I was thinking

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f319/jaygotera/01_linsay_Lohan-maxim.jpg

THANKS!!

That would be cute, but have you ever thought of doing some large loose curls? Or at least some waviness to your hair? It would be cute on you!!
Sorry no pictures!!

Q: Yeahh okay im 14/f, im not to young so dont even say that cause im about to be 15. Dont worry!
So like im not saying i want it to happen, like having sex. But sometimes it just happens, and I want to be prepared. Because me and this guy were making out like A LOT on the floor and like he started to unzip my pants and stuff, but I have MORALS! I told him not to. But like even if I wanted to go for it, like idk if Im ready. Like in the emotinal since and like physically because im not on birth control : which im really scared to ask my mom about, and I didnt have a condom, like I know he may have had one but I wouldve felt better if I carried them too : which I would feel very embarassed about buying.

So what I really am asking advice about it is:
-How do I know Im ready?
-How do I tell my mom I might need birth control?
-How do I find a way to be more comfortable buying condoms?

In general how do I protect myself! lol

Thank you for reading this long piece of crap :]]

BEFORE YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE READS THIS LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR IM NOT SAYIN GO OUT AND HAVE SEX< IM JUST ANSWERING A QUESTION!!!

First off, dont be ashamed to buy condoms, because everybody has sex at least once in their life. You should confident that you had enough sense and responsibility to even want to use a condom.

If you feel that you dont know how to tell your ready, then your NOT EVEN CLOSE to being ready.
Dont waste your virginity on some guy that isnt going to be in your future. Trust me, he isnt.

Next Your 14, you really dont need to bring this up to your mom because she is going to have a major panic attack! But if you really feel it neccasery to get birth control then you should tell her that your have irregular periods and you want to go to a doctor. When you get back there, discuss your situation with your doctor. You can always go to a planned parenthood, or a health department also.

Q: How do you know when you have an orgasm? Like how does it feel?

Its hard to explain. Different people have different reactions. Some people have an overwhelming tingling sensation in their whole body, some people shake a little. TRUST ME you will know when you have one, because its a different feeling in your body.

Q: finger myseldf ?

15/f

Honestly if you dont know then you dont need to be trying to do it. But I will just say somewhere south.

Q: My husband has severe ADHD and has computer addiction problems. I have problems with depression and anxiety. We've already sought out counseling for ourselves and for our marriage, yet nothing seems to have helped. I always feel that he doesn't care and he always feels that I care too much. He goes to work eight hours a day and comes home and is on the computer every minute he is at home. I don't ask him to do anything when he comes home because I am a housewife and I stay home and take care of the bills, cleaning, etc. I feel that we are just existing around each other. We are both at each other's throats and I feel that our marriage is particularly doomed. Any suggestions?

Have you had individual counseling to deal with your own problems? You should do that. They have pills for each of your problems. Its up to you to take them. The problem is clearly not the marriage. Its the personal problems that each of you have.

Q: I think I might be a lesbian, but I'm not sure. I'm 17/f, and I find myself thinking about girls and how they would look naked. I find myslf looking at the girls in the locker rooms. I find myself wanting to have like sex with girls and kiss girls and make out with girls. Are there any websites for girls like me?

That doesn't mean your gay. I mean its a chance but I think all girls do that at least once in their life. They want to see if thats what they want. But I think there is some sites like that for you. Search it in Google. Or any dating site you can put in girl looking for girls.
If anything im sure you can find girls like you on myspace you can search by sexual orientation from the browse page. It will show girls in your area too! And if you dont have a myspace, i believe you can still look but you cant contact them without an account.

Q: Hi!

So like, I go to the gym 4 times a week, losing anywhere between 600-800 calories solely on cario and whatever I lose on weights.

Sometimes before going to the gym, or afterwards, I eat frozen yogurt. Or a Chai latte. And on weekends I eat lunch afterwards (no frozen yogurt/lattes)

Is it normal to feel fat after eating??
And to not lose/gain anything in the first month?

Yes it is normal to feel fat. Its just your body adjusting to the changes.

Sometimes it is hard for certain people to lose weight in the first month, but try different exercises everytime. Dont just do the same things everytime you go.

Q: my older sister is in town for a few weeks and she's over 21, and everything thinks we look extremely alike so is there ANY possible way i could get caught for using her drivers license to sneak into clubs b/c it is a real drivers license and they can't "prove" i'm not that person! and don't worry this is just once i'm not the type of girl to get all drunk and stupid and get into lots of trouble, i just want to feel the excitement of actually being in a real nightclub! thank you so much!!

This is indeed kinda of dangerous and if you do get caught, you can be charge with impersonation another person. Im not condoning this, but alot of people do this. As long as you think you can pull it off and dont act too nervous it should be fine. They arent going to really arrest you either. they will just deny you entry. Also memorize everything on the card. AGAIN! I AM NOT RECOMMENDING YOU DO THIS!!

Q: OKay so i'm ALWAYS horny and i don't know whats wrong. i'm a virgin and i've never done it but like i've menstrated or however you spell it but like whats wrong??

Your body will always crave something that it cant have. Thats is just your hormones racing. Your getting older and your body is going threw new things. Just keep masturbating!! Its healthhy, and also there is no need to run out and lose your virginity!

Q: I am female and when I reach orgasam I have numbing pain in my neck and get an instant headache. why is this?

your brain controls your body's ability to orgasm. So that may be the reason. It might just be nerves. Try to relax your neck when you feel an orgasm coming on.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.