Ask shake!

Advice Column | Ask a Question | View Feedback | http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck

About shake



*WARNING*
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have better things to do? Is your life so emtpy that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with the authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want?Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masterbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...

"Contrary to what your mothers and teachers tell you, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap."





Ask Me For Advice
View Feedback
Make Favorite Columnist

Website: http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck
E-mail: pimpstickagostop@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: No one cares
Occupation: Journalist
Age: 22
AIM: shootthefat1
Member Since: February 10, 2005
Answers: 2248
Last Update: December 24, 2005
Visitors: 28841


Favorite Columnists
hitler_the_goat
poa
naimee
savorystillborns

Advicenators.com



TO add music to your column go to a graphics site like www.starlightmks.com Go to music click music to put on your page,click what kind of song you want then highlight the code.Go to edit. Click copy.Paste the code in your bio.
And by the way that picture is certainly attention grabbing.

The picture? You like the hair? Its pretty sweet. Thats why its like that.

Anyways. Okay, i'll check that site out and put some music on then. Thanks for that.

[view]


Hey guys um I weight 128 and I am 13 I have been trying to loose some weight. But I never can how is the fastest why to loose weight like 10 in a week or 2 please tell thinks

Dont eat. Or eat yourself. That'll take a lot of weight off.

[view]


Ok listen!
My boyfriend and i r really in love and people are tell me that we are going to break up and we usually call each other but we haven't talked all day! I am really worried! I need help! I am soo confused and sad!! Plzz help!
Thanks
Friz!!!
I am 13 and so is he!

Well, not only are you confused. You're over reacting.

[view]


My boyfriend can be so immature sometimes & it really bothers me. He's always fooling around & playing pranks of people. I know he's a guy so he's entitled to have fun with his friends but sometimes, it gets out of hand. What do I do?

x`laur

Superglue his nutz to the floor. Then ducktape his thumbs to the bottom of a desk. When he says 'THIS IS OUTTA LINE'. Be like YOU'RE OUTAA LINE!!! And explain to him what he's done.

[view]


Hey so thairs this guy i really like (i mean alot)and some times he flerts with me at lunch and i flert back and today one of his friends came up to me and said he liked me right in front of him but he said he didint, and my sister was makeing up stupid jokes like you two are gunna make out and stuff and all he did was smile and i not 100% sher he likes me plzzzzz answer me i'll rate 5's plz plz plz!!!!!!! and if he dose wut should i do?

Well i'll tell you what you should not do. ASK STUPID QUESTIONS!

[view]


my b/f nd i have only gotten into two fights. the first fight was the worst thing ever! he was upset because i said the new kid was hott (omg he was freaking amazingly hott!!) well neway, he went off and started screaming at me nd it made me cry. he found out he made me cry and he was so upset nd kept telling me that he is so sorry and that he has anger problems nd he could never hurt me. well when we went out just 2day he got mad again and started yelling in public. it really upsets me and i hate when he yells and the weird thing, is that he doesnt even realize it. his mom was telling me that his dad is a very angry person and yells constintly. my b/f tells me all the time he is working on it and he never means to yell, it just happens. how can i get him to realize that he is yelling, or how can i get him to stop? he thinks i'm afraid of him, but i'm not!! i need help, fast!

Tell him he is yelling. He'll stop then. If not, SLAP some sense into him.

[view]


i'm a little unsure about the category but i guess it doesn't matter

i have a school dance coming up in a few days and i am supposed to go with this girl. i didnt really ask her but we kind of agreed to go together about three weeks ago. i dont really like her as more than a friend but i know that she likes me. i really wanted a date to the dance even if it was just as friends and i knew that she liked me so i figured she would say yes. now theres about 3 days left until the dance and i decided that i dont want to have a date anymore. i want to go alone so that there is no pressure to hang out with this girl but its too late to say i dont wanna go with her anymore. she offered to not go together but i couldnt do that because i thought that would be pretty mean. well i told one of her friends about how i didnt want a date and more and she promised not to tell anyone about it. but her friend broke the promise and told her. now things are awkward between us. i dont know what to do. i feel so stressed out about this. please help.

Dont go. Or talk about it.

[view]


I have a friend, who I know her boyfriend of 6 months is cheating on her. I went ahead and told her...now I need to know what to tell her from here...I want to be there for her, but I don't know anything to help cheer her up? (Please keep in mind that I'm only in high school, so I'm limited)

Let her figure it out herself. If she was smart, she'd superglue his balls to the ground when he was sleeping so when he woke up. HE'D RIP HIS BALLS OFF!

[view]




i have acne.. . . i use proactiv and it is kind of helpin.. people say it does.. but i don't believe them .. does anyone know anything else thatn proactiv?

Toothpaste
Baking soda and vinegar

Supergluing your FACE TO THE FLOOR and yelling quack 5 times then doing the chicken dance!

[view]


ok here the thing,
i'm going out with this one girl (let's call her g.) now me & "g" have beem going out for around 2-3 weeks. now i like "g" and all that but i also like this other girl. (let's call her sussie)
now me & "sussie" have went out before but she broke up with me.now about a year later i hear from some of her friends that she still has feelings for me. she also acts like she still has feelings for me. she'll like watch me while i'm outside or smile at me & stuff. so wat do i do?
could someoen PLZ HELP ME OUT!!!!!


(i rate high for good advice) -thanks

Well dumb you didnt fill us in with enough information. Therefor we cant answer your stupid question.

What should you do? What in the hell exactly is that you want to do?

You didnt even tell us that.

Enjoy getting answers. This question is way to ambiguous to be worthy of an answer. I hope its taken down

[view]


Can anybody give me a link to a site that shows percentages of things like crime rates..yadda yadda..by city?

google it

[view]


well im going out with this kid,we'll call him jack. Hes so awesome and funny and hott and everything..[[haha..but hes a nerd]] b4 we went out his profile said he was desprate...so i was thinking did he go out w/ me just bcuz he was desprate?? we never talkin in school and stuff,but i would really like to,and we dont even hug..how can i slowly but surely get to no him and become a good girl friend to him?? i really love him and he dose to but its boring just to talk on aim ...

i rate high

Just be like 'yo sup'

He'll be like WAZZZUP! And then its all fun n games from there.

[view]


Hey if you get head. will ur dick stay the same size for the rest of your life? I rate 5's

If you ask stupid questions, will your dick stay the same size for the rest of your life?

[view]


when your column is the most famous column on advicenators you can't not have music!

You think its the most famous? How nice.

I'll work on the music thing. I'll do it today, how bout taht? If i can find the place to do it i will.

[view]


Shake,this is your mom.Wash your mouth out with soap

Alright!

[view]


I like a boy who is such a cutie! Hes really sweet, nice, and funny. Those are all big plusses but the thing im not so sure about is him being total opposite. He smokes, hes a hornball but he wouldnt make me do anythign i dont want to. Im like the popular girl with a halo over my head. I know that he just wants to hook up with me becasue he even said so but how do i find out if he likes me or not?

Hahahah! He said he wants to hook up. But you STILL dont know if he likes you?

You must be the popular DUMB girl. Lemme guess. you're also blonde?

[view]


What should i do, i like a person but i don't know if they like me back?

What should happen, is this question will be deleted soon.

[view]


A teacher randomly handed out 4 math books to four children in the class. The names of the students were inside the book.
a.)what is the probability that each child got his/her/ own book?
b.) what is the probability that no child got his or her book?

How do i solve this? and what are the answers?

You cant. No one said how many kids there were in total.

Also, the question sucks.

[view]


ohk well im sick of people hating me because im a "slut, hoe, whore, or skank" the thing is dat im really not any of that ... how can i make people see who i really am, or just get da image of being a hoe out of my life?


i rate high so please help

Well, depends on what you did. Or how you dress. We're very judgmental these days.

[view]


i like this guy, all my friends think we make a good couple....few weeks later my other friend likes him and now everyone is saying they make a good couple

wat should i do

Something.

[view]




<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker