I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I want to do a threesome and it's this Saturday but I feel guilty keeping it behind my mom's back because shes sees me as her daughter and all that and because she is my best friend but i really want to do a threesome but I feel guilty and I have been debating whether I should do it or not and I want to but I'm scared and nervous and I don't know what to do. (link)
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DON'T. If you are scared, doubting and don't want to do anything much less a sexual practice you aren't wanting to do take that voice in your head and listen to it.
Know from that voice that's constantly in your head that it's not the right thing for you.
If you have any guilt or doubt don't do this because it sounds as though people are pressuring you etc. If you feel your parents wouldn't approve that's just another sign and reason not to. You need to communicate with your partner that this is just one thing you're not interested in. If he doesn't get that you need to find someone who does.
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Hello~ This is gonna be long I’m so sorry.
So I’ve (28/f) been best friends with a wonderful human being (27/f) for around 4 years now. She’s supportive, encouraging, calls me out when I need it, and would give me the shirt off of her back no questions asked.
I moved back up to my family after a medical crisis with my dad and now finally feel comfortable moving back to the area where she lives. We’ve even had a solid plan for over a year and to move in together and this would be her first time living out of her aunt and uncles house.
The issue is she spends money, and when I say she spends money I mean she could easily have multiple packages showing up to her house daily no problem. When we agreed to move in together I didn’t assume this would stop and it was far from me to tell her how to spend her money, although I did hope it would slow down a little bit considering I emphasized the importance of having money saved up and how helpful it would be. We are now on less than 5 months away from “the big move” and she has yet to even begin to slow down on making her unnecessary purchases. I’ve gently commented on it a few times in the past year but was hit with a sob story about how she feels like she NEEDS to buy things.
Finally, last week, after another message about all of the things she just bought I laid it out on the table. I asked her if she was mentally ready to move out and into her own place yet. She hedged a bit until finally admitting she was nervous about how much things would cost and I don’t know if she was digging for me to offer to pay more of the rent but didn’t sound too happy about the fact she’d have to give up her spending habits.
I took this as a sign to start forming a Plan B, I already know that without me giving her a number for rent and bills that won’t tug at her paycheck that the move isn’t going to happen. My question is (long winded I know) how do I tell her that my focus has shifted? That I would honestly rather move to a new city and start over than move back closer to her? That her lack of restraint and discipline make me question how much farther our friendship will carry us if I’m ready to start making a way for myself and she’s content with sitting in a room with her things? Moving in together aside it’s disheartening because I’ve always tried to keep my nose out of her wallet, but this one major thing we were supposed to be in together and she has decided it’s not worth giving up her stuff. So how do I handle this without hurting her feelings and is it time to start breaking away?
Thanks,
-B (link)
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She has lived with her parents and or aunts and uncles her entire life and is likely coddled and has no perception of what life is like outside of that and how to manage money well. Someone needs to drive home that she must change her habits or will flounder no matter when and with whom she moves out with. She would be up the creek if she moved out alone.
I think you need to approach her guardians and tell them that you would love to live with her but know that she has no sense of what life would be like and goes through money like toilet paper. This may piss her off but it needs to be dealt with now before you live together.
It may be her money but she doesn't understand how to manage it and that she may need it when she doesn't have it. I think the needing to buy things is an addiction or something she does to fill a void or sooth her emotionally.
I would tell her guardians with you present what plan B is and that you can't move in with her unless she can pull her weight financially and not place any of it completely on you.
If she's amazing in every other way keep her as your friend and everything normal but don't move in together if you know it's going to be difficult and an issue. Make your concerns known to adults around her. That's how she will receive a much needed reality check.
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I need to know if my marriage is binding. My hubby used his non-legal Ca Drivers license to show proof of ID when we got married in 1997. When I tried getting a copy of our marriage certificate there wasn't any. Under both our names, there isn't any work tax or driving records under my hubby's non-legal biological name only under his adoptive last name. The judge took that from him for his 6th felony DUI and so got a new license, which after DMV finally figured it out after 26 yrs suspended that as well (link)
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An even bigger question is why would he use a false document in the first place to get married or for anything else? You can no doubt find a lot of trouble for using it. Is your marriage legal? There have been court cases like this especially in Ontario, Canada where the judge ruled that it was not because the person was living under false identity.
Why are you guys breaking the law to begin with and hiding who you are? If the DMV has suspended his license after 26 years and figured out he's not using his real name than that isn't right.
If someone has committed 6 DUI's there's a problem there especially if he tried and got a license with a false name on purpose. Your morals not your marriage documents is more important. There's lessons here to be learned that frankly haven't.
If you want to know if everything is legal I would consult a lawyer and tell them the truth about what went on in '97 the DUI's and use of false ID and let them figure out where you legally stand. In the meantime please use your real identity from hereon out.
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I’m 22 years old and live with my parents (for now). My father constantly torments me. He’ll say I’m worthless, good for nothing and a parasite. He’ll comments things like “you’re not normal” if I make a tiny mistake like drop something or bump into something, making me feel even worse about it. He dehumanizes me often times referring me as an “it”.
My mom often times takes his side, stating he just “cares about me” and “wants me to do something good with my life.”. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t want this man to keep affecting me emotionally anymore, and no matter how hard I try to ignore him, he’ll still make comments.
I also don’t want to feel like his words are true, but it’s hard. I don’t know what to do.. (link)
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What he is saying is more true of him than it will ever be for you. You have to realize who you really are is not at all what he refers to you as. The man sounds mentally off to be honest and that may be the cause. Nobody normal acts like this towards anyone much less a child.
What do you do? Find an adult you trust such as a teacher, guidance counsel, or CWY at school. Tell them that your home life isn't good and that your father keeps calling you good for nothing, not normal and a parasite. Have them get you some support and address what is happening with your parents.
It may seem hard to do but you need to take that brave and bold step to get him to stop with the bullshit. You have to be free from that toxicity and for him to see it's not normal and cannot continue nor be tolerated.
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Hello, I am a 25 year old female. I’m not sure if I’ve ever orgasmed. When I explore myself, my interpretation of an orgasm is a feeling that builds up, releases and I’m done, and I achieve this by only rubbing my clitoris for a few minutes using the heel of my hand through pants, underwear etc. my vagina doesn’t get wet, and doesn’t need to be while doing this. But when I have sex, I feel like my vagina takes a long time to get wet even if my head is ready, and with a lot of clitoris stimulation from my partner I feel all of these things and my body starts moving away like it can’t handle it... almost like it’s over stimulated but it feels good but kind of hurts? Sometimes I can feel the pressure building up inside me but I can’t actually cross the bridge to orgasm. Does anyone experience this and have any advice? I want to orgasm for myself and for him, he always asks “did you cum?”, and I always say “I don’t know.” Are women supposed to squirt? I feel like I can’t squirt if I’m not really that wet down there. Please help (link)
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You nailed it you are overstimulated. The clitoris as you know is incredibly sensitive and too much direct stimulation can make you feel like pulling away or sting or be totally uncomfortable.
It sounds as though you have experienced orgasm but not as intensely as you desired. If you feel something building up, tense and then a sudden pleasurable sensation or release that's what it is by definition.
If you try different techniques to see what your body responds to rather than always masturbating the same way you may find it get stronger. As far as vaginal dryness goes artificial lubricant makes a difference especially so intercourse doesn't hurt.
Your biggest problem really is that you are putting far too much pressure on yourself to achieve something and making it so difficult that you won't. Just let things unfold and you'll find things are a lot easier and better long term.
As far as squirting goes the debate rages about whether or not all women have this ability or if only certain people can. Healthline has put out an article that explains what it is and how and when it is usually achieved. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/squirting
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Can my grandmother eventually be forced into a nursing home?
Grandma is 87 years old & can NOT take care of herself. My aunt and my cousins are taking advantage of her. They steal her money. My grandma constantly falls, can barely get up and can’t fix her own food. They say her balance is off. The doctors say she is not safe at home bc she’s falling.
My Aunt and cousins do not want her in a nursing home. They don’t care about her and they steal her money. One of them actually hit her before. My grandmother goes along with whatever they say and doesn’t believe she’s being abused.
My mom and other family members work so no one can watch her 24/7. My mom & others have offered my grandma to move in with them, but grandma refuses. She also refuses to get a home health aide.
My Aunt and cousins don’t want her to get help because that means they won’t have access to her money. My aunt lives with her and also does drugs.
I’m also worried about her going into a nursing because of COVID. People also get worse in nursing homes. They told us that my grandma needs 4 hours of physical therapy, but told us if she were to go into a nursing home, she’d get 30 minutes or none of exercise. My grandma doesn’t want to live with us or anybody else.
My mom & others don’t want to fight my aunt and her children because it will be too much financially and emotionally affecting everyone. My grandma goes along with whatever her abusers want. She barely eats. Her house is a mess. What else is there to do? Can she be forced into a nursing home?
(link)
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A conversation needs to take place between you and her doctor and kept confidential. You need to point out that she refuses to live with anyone else and is only comfortable in her own home. Explain the fear of COVID and a nursing home not being suitable.
Make sure that he/she is aware that she is being taken advantage of and that these people are constantly stealing her money because she cannot comprehend reality.
Try and get a power of attorney over her so you control her future and keep these leeches out and have total control over her well being and finances that way they can't do anything.
Can they force her into a nursing home? I'm not sure what the law states but a doctor needs to help you out here with what to do. It's evident she cannot be alone.
Perhaps he can tell you what can be done to introduce aids into her home and address what her fears are of them. As far as the aunt goes who does drugs that can be addressed once you have legal control and can boot her out. Her doctor is your best ally.
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I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm from India. I have been talking to a girl since a month and a half. We like each other but we want to meet to make sure if we want to be totally serious and date. So should go for a kiss on our first date itself or not? If it's a yes, then how should I go for it? If it's a no, then how do I deal with it? I don't want to force her though. I need your advice on this one. (link)
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I would wait. You need to be sure of where the relationship is going. Right now you haven't even met her. I would be extremely weary of someone I don't know well planting one on me regardless of them being female or male. It's the same reaction that you would get. Build up to this.
The only time you kiss someone on a first date is if they initiate this themselves otherwise don't. This person has to be 100% comfortable with you and dating you first consistently. It's about trust and anyone who grabs someone and kisses them without establishing that can get in trouble.
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Which is the great service mover and packer company? (link)
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It depends on where you live. You have to do your research, get references, check prices and look for good and bad reviews. It's tough as you can get taken for a ride. The services available to you that are good are different from area to area. There are some small companies that are usually good and some to avoid.
If you go with a major name such as Allied for example they have a reputation that they have built up but a major moving company is ultra expensive but can be better for peace of mind. Never sign with anyone who doesn't do a head to toe appraisal in your home and sees everything you need to move and provides a quote and breakdown. People who don't do this are usually out to charge you a lot and run the clock out.
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I'm 27/f. I feel like my boss is nit-picking at everything I do. I started working at a store about a month ago, and this is not my first job in retail. I worked in another store for about 5 years, and then I took some time off when I had a baby. Then right after that the pandemic hit, and I wasn't able to return to my old job. It took a while to find a new job, and I'm grateful that I did. But I noticed that my boss is especially hard on me because he said I have a lot of experience. For example, some of the other workers still don't know where some of the products are even though they've been working there for years, but yet he yelled at me just after one week because I couldn't find something. I tried not to take it personally, but then one day he yelled at me in front of my co-workers and the customers just because I asked him a question about the register. It was embarrassing and I really don't think I deserved that. I've been out of work for two years so I'm doing my best, and the register here is very different from what I'm used to. When I asked about my performance he said that I'm doing very well and he has no problem with me, but then if I make one little mistake he gets an attitude and makes me feel like I'm stupid. I wasn't sure if he realized he was doing this, so I told him that the way he talks to me sometimes sounds very harsh, and that I'm doing my best to learn things as fast as I can. He said I'm being too sensitive and that if I don't like it I can leave. I don't know what to do. It seems like he has two personalities sometimes. I'm starting to dread going to work because I'm worried that I might do something wrong again. I feel anxious and I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights. Should I quit and try to find another job? (link)
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If you are questioning whether or not this is the right place for you than odds are it isn't and you need to trust that gut feeling. Yes, you need work and it's a pandemic but it's no to continuing to deal with this guy who is an asshole. You're going to find a lot of people you work for will be like him more often than not treating people working for minimum wages.
What you can do is call human resources at head office and in strict tell them what he's doing and your concerns that he's making the workplace into an extremely toxic environment that you find threatening. I'm sure others do as well.
As far as his take it or leave it approach it's bullying and he's so far gotten away with it. He's never had anyone stand up to him. You need to go through the proper channels to do just that.
After doing so I would move on unless he gets canned. You're miserable there and have skills others need that you can apply to a place that really needs you and you feel secure in.
I know you need the cash but you also need respect. I sure hope that you'll speak out before moving on to something better so you can prevent other people from having to work with him under unpleasant conditions just to survive during a pandemic. He needs his ass kicked and it hasn't happened yet. That's the only way people like this change when confronted with behaviour by superiors.
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Hello. I am 17 and a female. I'm reaching a point where I do not know what to do in this friendship that I'm in anymore. She is 18. I dread seeing her everyday. It's a long distance friendship, so it would be quite easy to break off. She's very clingy and possessive, while I am distant and need time alone.
I have known her for around 3 years. She will say things like, "I get out of bed for you", or, "you will never find a friend like me again." She has attempted for those 3 years to get me to be in a serious relationship with her even though I am obviously uncomfortable and decline her advances. I am not interested in the same gender, and I am not interested in her either. She also needs constant reassurance that I don't hate her. I'm reaching a point of no return and I do not want anything to do with her anymore. I don't hate her, I like her. I just tend to have more bad times than good times. If anybody could give me their opinion on this, I would be very grateful. (link)
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The thing with this friend is that she os clingy and telling you that she's the best friend you'll ever have is because she's not convinced herself.
She lacks confidence and it's likely because she has been ditched by a lot of people for irritating behaviour she can't see that she is doing. You need to confirm that you don't hate her. Once you have done that explain that you can't always hang out when she wants to or always be there but will include her as a friend. She should get it from that.
Also, in a tactful way tell her why you think she's floundered socially and what behaviours she doesn't know she has that turn people off and how to work on them. You'll be doing you and her a big favour if you do.
You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to. If you are sure after 3 years that this friendship isn't working you have the right to move on.
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Yes this is gross . I got a part of of a kernel popcorn stuck in my teeth. I was eating then I realized that the brown part of the corn kept getting tuck in my teeth so I stopped eating and brush my teeth.
I then flossed and saw all the food remains but I still felt discomfort in my mouth. I began flossing before and after brushing my teeth but no improvements. With my tongue I could feel something but when I looked I didn't see anything. At first I thought I had damaged my gum and it will heal . Then last night I began to investigate further and eventually I got the stuff out. Now I am very concern . I have a minute hole in my gum and I have been brushing and salt water rinses to avoid sugars etc from staying there. I'm not sure why else to do . I really don't want bad teeth . (link)
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You should see a dentist and have them look at your gums and tell you how to handle the situation if they are inflamed or you feel a lot of discomfort. they can also professionally clean your teeth and be sure that whatever was obstructing a certain area isn't anymore.
As far as brushing goes keep up your normal routine but don't brush around the affected area until you see your dentist. I'm sure over time it will heal and doesn't necessarily mean you'll have bad teeth because something got stuck between your teeth this once. If anything you may have cavities to fill. I'm not a dentist but getting a thorough exam and cleaning will help your situation.
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Hi,
I'm 25 years old, and I was raised catholic my entire life. I do not consider myself to be practicing, and i've struggled with my faith in the religion for a very long time now. But the thing is, I only went to church just to please my mom... I've tried telling her many times that I don't want to lie anymore and be dishonest in a church but she just doesn't seem to get it. I respect her religious views and i just wish she would respect my choices but she's doesn't get it. I feel like she's basing my humanity on my faith. Despite there being many good qualities to me, she doesn't see that at all and to her being religious trumps everything. Her not accepting me for who i am has hurt me, and me not being religious has hurt her too. she's also threatened me that she wouldn't go to my own wedding if it isn't in a church. I just feel suffocated and the only way for everyone to get along is for me to follow her ways and suffer behind curtains. Has anyone ever experienced this, or has any advice on this matter? (link)
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Been there felt that. I had it with people involved with Christian Science. Your mother probably sees church as her place of belonging and feels you need to have the same beliefs as hers. You don't and she's not receptive. T
he whole not going to your wedding thing is daft. Next time she says that tell her sorry we will miss you but it's our special day. Someone needs to tell her where her place is and that she's making you absolutely miserable about a choice that is yours and yours alone.
Find someone she listens to be it a relative, friend or other adult she respects. Have them tell her that what she's doing is pissing not only you off but others. Perhaps a teacher could even reach out or a guidance counselor of family doctor. Better yet talk to one of the church leaders and have them tell her to knock it off.
At 25-years-old you have the right to your own beliefs and to choose and nobody including her should be able to trample all over you. She's being incredibly awful. If she does this again try not speaking to her for awhile or walk away if she brings this stuff up. Maybe she'll get it then.
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I'm a 24 yr old female in desperate need of advice. I found out this past weekend that I'm pregnant (5 weeks) and I've been stressing ever since. I'm very torn on what decision to make and when I try to outweigh the pros/cons I feel like the best decision would be abortion. I have an almost 3 yr old that I'm trying to be the best mom for, I've struggled with depression since I was pregnant with her and I just feel as though it'd be unfair to have another child when I'm not where I want to be in life. I need emotional and financial stability and splitting myself more would not be ideal. My big hesitation comes from a fear of what ifs and/or regretting my decision. As well as this overwhelming feeling of guilt..probably because I don't really feel I have a someone I can talk to this about that wouldn't be judgmental. I've been trying to think carefully this week but I don't know what to do. I don't want to wait any longer because I know it'll make the decision even harder, I truly feel deep down that abortion would be the best option but I'm struggling to make a final choice. Thank you in advance, any advice is appreciated. (link)
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One situation to consider is adoption and finding a family that really wants a child and can take care of the baby and give it a life that you couldn't at the time. That's a very selfless but hard thing to do. If you are conflicted about abortion and not wanting to do that than this may be a way to do something positive by carrying to term and arranging adoption.
If you are fearing or regretting something already than that's your gut saying to you that handling the issue in that matter isn't right for you and would be ultra-traumatic long term. It could even affect you more with depression than anything and guilt.
Ultimately this is your body and your choice and decision to work out with your partner and nobody else should be involved in that discussion or judging you for what has to be difficult. We can't make the choice but if something is making you feel intense guilt that maybe that's not the option you need.
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Hi. I'm a 16 y/o girl. I guess you could say I'm generally a pretty good kid. I've never been in any major trouble. So, I've never been grounded. Most of my friends, on the other hand, have been grounded at least once in their lives. I'm actually curious as to what it's like. Like, to the degree that I find myself daydreaming about what I could do to get myself grounded so I can finally find out. Am I weird for doing this? I'm sure my friends would think I'm psycho. What do you think? (link)
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Doing things just to get a reaction or piss people off especially your parents to find out what this would be like is a bad idea. The fact is they did something that genuinely earned them the right to be grounded and you haven't come close to that in real life.
I would be proud of being that kind of person that your parents trust and doesn't look for or find themselves in trouble. Each parent parents a child differently and deals with situations and trouble their child causes or disciplining them differently. Your parents know what works for them and for you if that makes any sense.
I think your best bet to find out how the other half lives is to ask your parents why your friends get grounded when they do something wrong and you don't. Explain that it's common with them and you don't know why or what that's like. It's an honest question and doesn't mean you're psycho either. Wanting to know about something that has never happened to you or perplexes you is a natural thing. If you want to know ask them.
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I have never celebrated my birthday with more than one friend before. This year, I started telling my friends my plans early since my birthday is in June. My birthday is on a weekday. I planned to do dinner on my birthday on a rooftop. But, sister said she can’t come because she’s going on a trip. My other friend has to work that evening of my birthday. One friend said she could come depending if she in labor. A coworker of mines said she would be open. My out of town friend hasn’t gave me a defiant yes but she seems open. I wanted to make reservations in April but right now, I’m not confident if anyone will come. I will feel embarrassed if I make a reservation for 4 and only one or two show up. I want to celebrate my birthday but by it being on a weekday I’m afraid people won’t come. What do I do? (link)
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You also have to be aware of COVID restrictions and the number of people who can gather in one place and if they must be in your immediate family living with you. That's a big issue. In most places you cannot dine indoors or only get take out or delivery.
They might not be able to take reservations or be operating as normal. I doubt you can reserve anything at any restaurant for these reasons. The same thing with a rooftop. If you throw a party on a rooftop you can get fined for doing it if caught not to mention even if nobody looks like they don't haves symptoms of COVID could get it or spread it. It's not a good idea to have your pregnant friend who is about to have a baby soon to be in a party environment.
It's the same deal with out of town people. They could be from an area that is in trouble with cases locally or a state even and then coming to see you could unknowingly bring COVID with them. It's no exaggeration but is happening a lot.
Because of this you will have to do something unconventional. Try setting up a Zoom meeting with everyone where you can see them and they can see you and do a party that way and ask them if they would be willing to go to your Amazon wish list for example and send you a surprise that way.
Another thing you could do is pick a public place such as a park near you or parking lot and stand the required 6ft way with masks on and text back and forth for a few minutes and exchange a gift and that be it for safety. I like the Zoom meeting idea.
You have to think about safety, COVID restrictions, a pregnant person's needs and that places you want to reserve could be shut down at a moment's notice. Having any kind of party be it on a roof or in your own home that people find out about or a case can be traced back to will land people in trouble.
I have to be honest that a lot of people no matter how much they love you or your relationship to them are likely not to want to come to an in person situation.
I think your friend who is going on a trip is either using an excuse or I hope not actually going on vacation during a pandemic. Reach out to them about a virtual party and gifts tactfully or even do a meeting and pick a charity to donate to in your name in lieu of a present or presents. Then when all this crap is over meet again and celebrate.
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I'm 15 and a sophomore in high school, and this whole time, I felt like the pandemic never really affected me this entire time, but recently I saw a video and in that video a Chinese woman, like me, was saying how she was actually really depressed in high school and never realized, and it made me think. After a few months of the pandemic, I think, is when it really started. I never want to get out of bed in the mornings, but I don't want to go to sleep at night. I stay up really late because I don't want to wake up the next day. I don't want to play tennis or practice the piano or hang out with my best friend. I didn't really keep in contact with any of my school friends except for my best friend who lives down the street. She sometimes drags me out for walks and I enjoy them when I'm on them, but I never want to go. I spend pretty much all day in my room telling my parents that I have a ton of schoolwork, which I have a lot of, but not that much. They don't notice anyways. But I don't want to study or do homework, and even though I've never really like school, I've never had a problem forcing myself to do the work and study before because it mattered to me. I think my grades still matter to me, and on some level, I realize that my future is important, but I just can't bring myself to care anymore. I thought it was just procrastination, but when I think about what will happen if I don't keep my grades up, I don't feel much of anything like I used to. I've always fought with my mom a lot and we never see eye to eye, and my relationship with my brother isn't all that good, but it feels like the slightest thing they do annoys me. Even my tennis coach and my dad have begun to bother me, and I've always been close to them. I'm not failing any classes, but I've been struggling in Algebra II Honors and my teacher recommended me for a lower level next year but I still don't feel anything! I'm disappointed, but if it was a few years ago or heck, even last year, I would have been crushed. I cried from failing one test last year, and I don't feel anything now about a couple of failed tests or low grades, just a passing though of oh, I'll make it up next time. And wow, writing it all out makes it sound really serious but here's the thing. I don't FEEL depressed. My dad still makes me laugh. I still enjoy the little amount of time I spend with my best friend. I still enjoy reading and watching my favorite shows. I enjoy tennis although I can never make myself feel excited to go. I've always hated piano even though I've been taking it for 11 years now, so that's not anything new. I'm also fairly sure that my period is starting soon, so this might just be a huge hormone-induced, emotional rant, but I honestly have no idea. Am I actually depressed? I know I'm not suicidal- I hate pain and I'm kind of terrified of it, actually, but am I right in thinking suicidal and depressed are two separate issues? I feel like I'm overreacting. My parents would probably tell me I'm overreacting. But we've been doing all this stuff about racism against Asians and the pressure that's put on them and I just wanted a second opinion. Whoever reads this and responds, thanks for taking the time out of your day to help some stranger who might not even know what she's talking about. (link)
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Trust me, you definitely are aware and know what you are talking about. This isn't about boredom or going stir crazy from the pandemic. There's something here that has existed on some level with you before this that is now taking on a front and center role and revealing itself as a bigger issue you can't ignore.
You do sound as though you have depression. Some of the big signs of that is lack of interest in anything where you were before, sleeping patterns drastically changed, no desire, irritability that doesn't match up with a real reason and the crying or constant emotional changes whether menstruating or not. I don't think it has any difference.
If your moods keep changing from feeling elated and then to the point you can't even get out of bed or for a walk that's not normal and cause to get checked out by a doctor and is concerning.
People who have bipolar disorder have constant fluctuating moods from highs to lows and rapidly cycling from one to the other. Not all types of bipolar disorder means a person will have grandiose ideas, visions or delusions and this may or may not be a case where you have this issue with just the moods and going from happy to lowest of lows constantly.
Only a psychiatrist can diagnose this issue. You usually have to get a referral from a family doctor which during a pandemic is hard unless on their roster and even then judging if it's cause to concern during a telephone visit only is tough.
I don't think you are in crisis but if you're feeling too overwhelmed and can't enjoy normal life and have all these moods that are swinging there's no problem at all with checking in with an emergency room because that puts you in the hospital system and they can figure out how to treat the issue if it needs to be.
You have to tell your parents what is going on and that it's not just the pandemic but you in no way shape or form feel normal and have constant moods from happy and elated to lowest level of depression and would like to check this out.
Your friend is doing a great thing by trying to get you out of the house walking. One of the things you can do is make a schedule of doing that with them every day at the same time even if you don't want to as it will help.
Also, try and find something you love be it art, movies, writing, gaming or what really has your interest and do that daily as much as you can to fill time.
The pandemic has been really rough on kids especially those who had mental health issues to begin with. Depression and having suicidal thoughts don't always go hand in hand and are not intertwined so please don't worry or think because you're depressed that it will happen with you.
It can play a factor but definitely is not a part of everybody's experience. In fact, in yours if you are depressed and diagnosed as that or even bipolar medication and therapy treat that and there is zero worry that you can't have a normal life or an even better one than you did before.
I have heard how Asian families can be tough on their kids when it comes to academics. What you have to realize is that you are doing your very best and sometimes falling short or failing is a good thing as it makes you better at something in the long run. Focus on doing your best and don't stress about it. It's all you can really do.
I hope you will tell your parents about this and even go to a hospital ER and ask for help if you can't get it from your normal doctor. It's better to see what the issue is than not acting. You have taken an important first step now. Feel free to inbox me with what you find out.
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My soon to be 13 year old granddaughter who I had a very close relationship, has in the last months not returned my text messages and seems to not want to spend time with me. Her father, my son, says she is into her friends and phone, which I totally understand, but totally shutting me out of her life is hurtful. What should I do? (link)
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Go directly to the source by calling her and finding out if you offended her inadvertently or her parents. I don't buy this "she's into her friends and phone" business either.
It's common decency to write back to someone especially a grandparent or answer a call if it only takes a minute or even a second to reach out.
There's something going on her and to be frank
and excuse my choice of words the explanation your son has given you is bullshit. There's a reason they are shutting you out and it's not likely your fault. I would try to address it again in a phone call not just an email to her and her parents. If that yields nothing than be frosty the next time they reach out. Then a lesson that the granddaughter and her parents need to learn will occur.
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Now, I've had a suspicion for a while that this person has been contacting me on multiple accounts under different names and personas (primarily because of similar grammatical styles and similar general account topics), but I'm not 100% sure.
Originally, I was going to see if there was a way of finding out if two IP addresses matched but I couldn't find anything for that, so then I came across a couple of people finders (e.g. PeekYou, and Truthfinder) but you have to pay to find out the person's social media profiles- the most new information I've got from any of those sites for free was the person's religion and political affiliation, but I'm interested in trying to work out if this person is behind multiple accounts across a variety of social media platforms, and I cannot find a way of figuring this out for free. Can anyone help? (link)
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If someone has been harassing you on Facebook or other social media it's best to keep blocking them or reporting incidents and to tell your family that someone has been doing this and you aren't feeling safe online.
Leave it to those platforms to find out and act within their policies. If you know for sure who it is and it's of a really bad nature you can go to police if safety and well being is threatened. Bottom line is tell your parents, keep reporting them and show through this that they aren't going to get the attention they seek.
It's best adults know because if it's the same person you know and think it is they may have a mental health issue to a degree you aren't aware of.
If it's some random asshole on Facebook harassing you over a certain topic all the time note the sentence structure and what they are saying and keep reporting them as a fake account.
As far as tracing who they are that's an area I know little to nothing about and how that works. However, the founder of this site Dangernerd is a computer and tech guru. If you hit his page up he may be able to give you further info on being sure who is doing it.
In the meantime build a case and archive all correspondence and take screen shots. You may find yourself needing all of that info later if you need to show adults or authority figures exactly what the person did. Document all of that.
The other thing you can do on Facebook with friend requests is set your profile to private and set your settings so nobody can make a request and to where you can't accept incoming messages. Then only trusted friends can get through.
You could go to the extreme and delete your social media accounts all together and start new pages that only your trusted friends have access to and this idiot can't follow you around on.
Also, never post publicly comments on any topic or article that ay be controversial ie Trump, Biden, entertainment, history, people's videos etc or you'll have weird people coming out of nowhere to drive you crazy in the fashion you have mentioned.
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I don't normally complain like this but this was the first time I'd ever asked for personal advice. Ok so I have a nice family well, they're nice most of the time. It's been a while since this started but my dad has been really toxic lately. It's sometimes for silly reasons but I feel it's gotten out of control. When I rearranged the furniture in my room a little bit today, my dad got completely mad at me. He said I was being really irritating and would take my room away. I don't want that to happen. And that's not the only thing. He also tells me that I'm lacking common sense and shouts at me for no reason. I know I'm NOT lacking common sense. I always feel really depressed. He compares me and my sister to other kids and tells us that we're wasting time. I spend literally 3/4 of my day studying or in school. I don't know what to do. I even felt like running away but I don't want to upset my mom and my sister who are nicer to me. I feel really insecure and the worst thing is that it's not just me he is mean to. I always see other dads who treat their kids so nicely and I get so upset. I feel like my dad has a big ego and I know most of us do but it's really hurting me and my sister too. What should I do? Please help me. (link)
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It's not your fault and you did nothing for him or anyone else to treat you in that matter. You have to ask yourself is a drinker, mean drunk or is there a physical or mental illness going on? He may have a mental health issue here with erratic behaviour and moods that come out of nowhere. Often people who do and aren't treated can act exactly like he has been and pick someone who is easy to attack.
I think what you need to do is realize it's coming from a place of illness and it's bullshit not caused by anything you have done. It's his issue and choice to say and do these things and maybe he needs treatment. You need to tell yourself every time he lashes out that he doesn't know the real you and that is not the reality.
You need to align yourself with your mother and siblings who can stand up to him too and get them to go after him when he says this kind of thing to you to show it's not acceptable. You should also get your teachers and school counselors behind you to indicate to parents that you're unhappy at home.
If unable to let them do that at least get their help to empower you. You need a therapist so you can learn how to function and counter what he's saying and doing.
I would have your mother talk to his physician or write a confidential note at the first opportunity about his sudden erratic behaviour, bullying his kids and constant verbal and or physical abuse. Have that person figure out if this is signs of an illness, crisis or something that needs attention in another way. His behaviour isn't normal and nor should you suffer for it.
It is his loss that he's missing out on who you really are which is the bright person you really and truly are. You really have to know who you are inside and that way none of this crap as shocking as it may be and awful can touch you. If you build up an inner defence like that and walk away from the situation and him when it happens you're better off.
Running away is NOT a good idea at all. You can land in all kinds of trouble and you haven't shelter, a job or money to survive and could meet all the wrong people. It's not an option. Running away doesn't solve the problem that will always stay with you.
I think what you could do temporarily is live with a relative that is close to your mother and siblings rather than at home and in his orbit or with a friend and their family. If you can break away for a bit it may be good for your mental health especially not quarantined in a house or apartment 24/7 with him.
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I have been dating this man for 7 months now. But it doesn’t feel like that long because we don’t see each other very often. About once a week throughout this whole time. He told me that his intentions with me are to be in a relationship. He also told me I’m his favorite woman out of everyone he’s dating and he does special things for me and no one else, the other women are just sex.
My problem is not that he’s with other women. My problem is that i feel like he doesn’t like me as much as i like him. I’m afraid “I love you” will slip out of my mouth before he says it to me. And i will feel like i care the most. Which has always hurt me in the past, and those relationships have ended because I’ve become clingy and just too involved in those relationships.
I’ve been doing it different with him though, i allow him to initiate all the dates and all the conversations. I haven’t been very good at allowing him to address any issues between us because he’s a very easy going guy and not many things bother him. So i find myself bringing it up when i need something to change. (I don’t like it because he gives me the impression that he doesn’t care. If there’s really nothing to say to me) I’ve already asked him “where is this going” and “what if we were exclusive” and he’s given me the impression both times that he’s in no rush. But he also doesn’t want to lose me.. and this rubs me the wrong way because it doesn’t feel like he would really care if he lost me.
He says he does things for/with me that he doesn’t do with anyone else; he bought me a diamond bolo bracelet, matching robes for us, took me on 2 vacations to the Poconos, has paid for every date and almost every meal so far with little to no complaints, he has come to visit me at work twice. But only because i asked him to. he has listened to me and remembered my orders or my favorite places to go and makes sure i have the food or the dates just the way i like them.
Yet still i feel like he may be putting on an act. I only see him like 1 time a week. He maybe has the capacity to put on a front once a week for me and go back to being himself for the rest of the week. I don’t know. I’ve mentioned to him that i would like to see him more often but he has told me he has a lot going on and his schedule is mostly him at work. When he’s not at work he goes to this secret society club, spends time with his family and friends, and, you guessed it, with other women. So he doesn’t even text me or call me unless he’s setting up the next date with me. I don’t know if i should start seeing other men myself and take the pressure off of him, or just cut it off. He hasn’t lied to me or otherwise mistreated me so it’s very conflicting.
We are not in a relationship. We are not even exclusive. This feels more like prolonged friends with benefits with a vague relationship future, maybe maybe not. I’m 23 he is 29. He has his own place and when we see each other i always drive to him. (link)
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Trust your gut it will never lie to you. If red flags are popping up about him then it's time to pump the brakes. If he's as in to you as he claims he wouldn't only be seeing you once a week regardless of where he works.
People can be sweet and do things for others but can also be playing them at the same time. If you sense he's putting on an act and telling you exactly what you want to hear then trust that voice inside your head. If he's going to places that are a secret from you that's also an alarm.
It seems as though he's in to multiple women and a player. I don't think there would ever be exclusiveness with him either even though he pledges it. If he's seeing multiple people once a week then you have to imagine what he's feeding them too.
He may seem like a nice guy or someone who could be a friend but I think you're being used and played for a sucker by him. It also seems as though he's not initiating things and counting on you to do so.
As far as lavish gifts go it's the same thing that he may be using his money on other girls. How well do you know him after 7 months? What do you really want from this? Why doesn't it seem to matter if he's with others and or just being a sexual partner with nothing attached? You have to ask yourself these questions and evaluate where you should be. It doesn't sound like a situation that I personally would want to be in or keep alive.
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