Imperfectionist's advice column

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Q: What would look good with a knit, pastel yellow-colored long-sleeved sweater? It's a baggy style. Please include shoes and all when answering question :)

light, meduim, or even dark denim jeans, jean shorts, or even jean skirts. black leggings, black skinny jeans, or even a black skirt. If it's kind of baggy and you can hang it on your shoulder, it could really cute with a black high waisted kind of poofy skirt. Sometimes white bottoms, It really depends on the exact shade of yellow so that is a bit iffy. some people pair pastel yellow shirts with pastel peach, teal, or even pink bottoms.

Q: Around 4 years ago I started talking to a guy a few years older than me, we met up a couple of times and although nothing really happened, I really really liked him. He was the first boy I ever truly liked and I still feel something for him today and think I always will despite having boyfriends since. We were still speaking now and again up and till about 6 months ago when he started talking to my new best friend. (hes spoken to some of my other friends before too) She knows my past with him but she continued to talk to him and he asked her to meet him, I never expected her to want to meet him! But she asked me if I would mind if she did, and of course I did! But I was embarrassed so said it didn't bother me. So she met up with him and they slept together; now she always talks about hum and they always text and I hate hearing about it, I wish I'd said I cared in the first place but I feel like it's too late now. Even though I haven't said I care to her though I still feel as though deep inside she knows I do. I think I'm embarrassed to say anything because I know I dont own him and it's not like we even have a real history, but that doesn't change the way I feel. The thing is. I think she's starting to like him now but i know the kind of guy he is and he'll never get serious with her, should I say something or is it too late?

You said you want to say something, what exactly did you mean? If you are going to tell her she is never going to be able to get serious with him, like you said, No. You'll just look like you are jealous of the relationship. If you are talking about your feelings for him... I mean it really depends on how good your relationship is with the friend, and what kind of person she is. Because you can tell her but those factors determine what will happen if you tell her. You honestly should have told her from the beginning, even though a good friend wouldn't go there with another friend's ex (sort of ex.. whatever), once you gave her the go ahead, it doesn't matter if she thought you still had feelings for him, you said it was fine. But if you do tell her... be honest, tell her that you lied when you told her before. And what happens from there really depends on her and your friendship. Good luck.

Q: I used to go to school with this guy and he is really cute, funny, nice, and just cool. He is one of the most down to earth guys I have ever met. I had a really massive crush on him for a good solid year and then I moved schools. So I go back and visit all my friends occasionally just to catch up on all the girly stuff you know. So the other night they had this huge dodge ball tournament and I went to support my friends. They were on the same team as him and a few of his friends so I was cheering for that team. All night he was looking at me and stealing glances I couldn't help but smile back. I really like him now and don't know what to do because I switched schools. I have a hard time being optimistic about this. I feel like this would never work out. Thanks!!!

Just because you switched schools, doesn't mean you can't go for it. If you really like him and you think you have a chance, try to see if you can hang out with him. Or go to another event he is going to. If you guys click, well take it from there.

Q: I was on birth control for a few months and my doctor decided to put me on a different pill that she said had less hormones but was still just as effective as the last one i was on. well my partner lives out of state so i decided not to take them as soon as they were given to me (i know stupid idea) i barely remembered about them 3 days before he was supposed to come down here so by the time he was here i was only on the pill for 3 days. we ended up having sex that same day many of times without a condom and (sorry for being descriptive) but he ended up cumming inside of me various times. i had my period from december 26-december 30th. we had sex january 1st-3rd and for some odd reason i got another period around january 5th that only lasted a couple of days. recently i've been so exhausted for no reason, i haven't been hungry, I've been getting really bad headaches, there are times where i feel dizzy, i was throwing up all day monday, all day wednesday and I've been sleeping SO much. I'm just not sure if there's a possibility if I'm pregnant or if it's just the flu? I havent had a cough or anything like that so Im a little scared. I took an at home pregnancy test about a week ago and it came out negative I'm just not sure if it was too early. Thanks in advance

It's probably not the flu or you being pregnant, you just switched birth control, so this is your body adjusting to it. but you should talk to your gyno just in case

Q: So I been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months now. It was amazing at start, I couldn't ask for more.
But then, the problems started. I just don't seem to care about him like I used to. I don't love him anymore. Then again, I didn't really love him, I just loved the fact I got a boyfriend. His every action disgusts me more and more.

The huge problem here is that, he very much loves me. I'm quite scared if I do breakup anytime soon, he might become a stalker or hurt someone.

Is there a way to breakup with him, to ensure he doesn't become crazy? Provoke him to breakup with me maybe? I been thinking about telling a lie that I had slept with someone else. ....I just don't know, I'm confused and scared about this..

why even bother making up a hurtful lie about cheating when you already did something even more evil. being with someone just because you wanted a boyfriend, shake my damn head, no bueno. all that time you were together he could have been with someone who actually cared about him. just tell him the truth straight up. it may hurt but at least you'd be being honest and upfront about something for once in that relationship.

Q: I have a friend and we have been friends for a long time (like since we were in kindergarten). Well she is really nice and stuff but lately I feel like she's been talkin to my friends to much. First she started talkin to my other best friend and I was kwl wit it at first but then it got annoying. Then she stopped txting her so much and she exchanged numbers on instagram with my friend when I gave her a ShoutOut. Now she's talkin to on of my preschool guy friends that we had had a little misunderstanding with (lets just say I got dared to ask him out and he took it a "little" to seriously), and now she talking to him too. I told her that I didn't like how she does that but she never want to talk about our problems when ever we have one. I don't know what to do but I need to do something really soon.

I'm confused... what's the problem with your friend making other friends? I get the fact that they happen to be people you know but sometimes that happens. Have you ever been friends with someone she was friends with first? Did she bitch when you did? If not, you shouldn't be doing it to her. It's not being a good friend, and it's just plain old possessive.

Q: Male,27
I have a little problem down there. It kinda smells all the time and I don't know how to solve it. Even when I have a shower like three times a day,this disgusting smell continues to be there. What can I do to get rid of it? Thanks and Sorry,since I know this is not so nice to read.

If you are showering three times a day and it's still smelling, might be time to go to the gyno. but you can try vaginal washes. Summer's Eve. Vagisil... there are others.

Q: Is it hard to follow this diet?

what diet?

Q: A week ago I went to Florida to visit my boyfriend. It's a long distance relationship and we engaged in sexual activity for the first time.

He fingered me, and I gave him blow jobs a few times, swallowing. Half way through the trip my clitoris became a bit sore and when I got home I went to the doctor. She said it was most likely just a fungal infection and gave me an antibiotic. After that, the pain went away quickly.

However, now I'm really worried. I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone about going on birth control before our next visit and I discovered that he had not gotten STD tested after his last girlfriend who he had sex with, because she was a virgin prior.

But I don't trust his ex-girlfriend and I know people lie or you can get STDs from oral sex as well.

Should I get tested for STDs, and if so, which ones?

Am I wrong to ask my boyfriend to get tested as well, even if his ex was a virgin?

He thinks I'm being paranoid.

There is nothing wrong with getting tested, it's better safe than sorry.

Q: I've tried Googling for information but I can only find news articles from around November about Seaside after Hurricane Sandy, nothing recent it seems. I'm just curious as to how things are going down there. I heard some people are allowed to move back to their homes? Is that true? Are people allowed to move back to their apartments now?

I live in Jersey and some people have moved back to their apartments but most are still in shelters or somewhere else and have no home really to go to.

Q: Is it a sin to eat pussy

tell me have you ever lied? or stolen? gotten a haircut? or have a tattoo? or even ate ham? worked on the true Sabbath (which is Saturday)? If you have, you have sinned. But technically eating pussy is a form of intimacy which you aren't suppose to have before marriage.BUT Don't let the bible dictate your life, believe me you won't have one.

Q: 18/f

I'm suffering from PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) and I'm very determined to lost weight.
This disease has caused me to be overweight my entire life and I'm getting sick of not being happy with myself.
What I want to know is what are good workouts to start with at home? I've been to a gym before and didn't enjoy it. I'm not much of a people person and I would feel more comfortable doing workouts at home.
If possible, can someone help me set up a schedule of some sort? I greatly appreciate the help!

I have PCOS too. Did they happen to give you any hormones or birth control? If not, sit down with a doctor and ask. You can find some low priced exercise tapes at stores like Walmart, if you can find Leslie Sansone tapes (it'll probably say something about walking miles) grab one, those are great. Easy and won't kill your body if you do it everyday. If you have comcast or xfinity they have free exercise tapes for you to follow On Demand under the listing exercise tv, those are great. But if you can't grab a tape or don't have comcast, think of what areas you want to work on and look up some exercises you can do at home for them. Just write them down and it helps if you write them on little pieces of paper, throw them in a jar and than do like a pull them out thing like say it's Monday and you have some free time to exercise so you pull one of the workouts out of that jar which happens to be 20 sit ups. and you can do as many as you want per day.

Q: Ok so i am like a horror movie queen.. Ive seen all the saw movies, wrong turn, hills have eyes, paranormal activity, insidious, the grudge, the ring, texas chainsaw masicre and more. Although, none of these movies have even come close to scaring me... So i was wondering if anyone knows any super scary movies. Thanks for your time

If you're like me and aren't really scared of even the Saw movies, you are seriously going to have an issue finding a scary scary movie. Your best bet is to watch a scary movie that involves a fear of yours, like for example if you're scared of dolls, clowns, and puppets a great scary movie would be Trilogy of Terror, Child's Play, and DEFINTELY Dead Silence. Like I said go for what your fear is.

Q: Okay. I have this friend. No, not a friend. A bitch. She takes advantage of me and then treats me as if I'm transparent. She was close to me last time but I realised that I was the one giving in to her all the time and she took the friendship for granted, so we became just friends. But she was mean. So once, my friend was chatting with me. At that time my friend was close to her. But I told her, "Maybe you shouldn't tell all your secrets to her. She might betray you when she gets angry. She did that to me."
Then my friend told her. WTF?! And then BOTH of them got angry at me because they said I BAD-MOUTHED HER. They started spreading rumours about me and stuff. I'm serious. She really did that to me before. I'm so upset because they blew this whole thing up and pushed all the blame to me. If she had not done that to me, I would never have said that to my friend. HELP!! What should I do? I'm not patching things up anymore because I've had enough!!!! :(

well technically it was bad mouthing her because you said something mean to a girl you considered a friend at the time to another time not in front of the friend. But you were being honest and trying to warn, so don't let it bother you because karma is a bitch and you can guarantee that girl will prove what you said right.

Q: So I'm in every 7th grade and i have this group of friends and in the morning of school we have 30 min. In the gym and we sit in the middle of the gym.
I had this friend (aaleah) in the6th grade and she sit with the press.her and i are still friends and my new friend (cypress) got in a fight with her in math. My new friend and i are really close like sisters. So she told me and aaleah said were all getto preppy bitches.
So i asked aaleah if that was true and she said no. Yet cypress said aaleah did say it.
I don't know who to believe.....help!!

i'm sorry but the way this was written, was too hard for me to actually understand the situation. Try rewriting it again and reposting.

Q: Okay so, im an 18 year old girl, I've been with my boyfriend (19) for a year and a half, we are really really comfortable with eachother. But he's never made me orgasm, then again neither have I.
I try to masturbate but perhaps I'm too impatient, nothing seems to work. The first few times I touched myself, and the first few times he did- I was really sensitive. But after that I dot feel much down there, mentally I've got a really high sex drive cos i think about it/want it all the time. But I dont seem to get physically aroused and because of that nothing builds up to an orgasm:(
I don't know what to do!

There is alot of things you can do to make yourself a bit more "orgasmic". You guys can try different positions, doggystyle is a good one. and you being on top also because it gives you control over the speed, how deep, what it hits. you can even try warming yourself up a bit first. massaging lubricant on to his penis and letting him massage only a little bit of it onto your area. He can even use his finger to rub your clitoris before or even during sex. Some people recommend watching porn before or after.

But mostly you could just be having issues with orgasms in general. and many things could be the reason of that. whether it be stress or even foods and medication you've been taking.

One day drink water that whole day. (don't ask why. but drink lots of it) and buy some scented candles. have a cup of tea before taking a warm bath. and than go in privacy light those candles, turn on a porno, and see if you can masturbate.

Q: 17/f
ive been seeing this guy for 6 months now. we are both really happy. he is friends with this other girl on the other side of the country (they talk like everyday)she has a boyfriend, but apparently the boyfriend is jealous of max (the guy im seeing). This morning max told me, that at the beginning of the previous year he had promised this girl a visit for a week and he asked if id be alright with that.
i trust him, he is really relgious and i know he would never cheat. i just think its weird to travel the country to see another girl and when she has a bf!.
am i being to jealous? or am i right in thinking its a tad off?
any suggestions on how to approach it with him without starting an argument.

This really depends on your security. Do you believe guys can just be friends with a girl? Do you trust nothing is going on between them? Just think if you had a guy friend across the country that you had no feelings for and you had the chance to visit, would you expect him to freak out or understand that it's your friend and trust that is the truth.

Q: Is there any way to unabort a baby after it was just aborted, I changed my mind!

No. The baby dies during the process.

Q: Hi, I'm looking for a 12 to 13 year old girl in CA, preferably near Garden Grove. The kind of girl I'm looking is kind, generous, and loving. I don't care too much about looks, just dont be really fat. In case you're wondering, I'm a 13 yo asian guy, and I'm not fat. I'm kind and compassionate, and I'm not like other guys, who only care if the girl theyre dating is hot or not. I care more about attitude than looks, and I would rather listen to other peoples problems and help them with it than bothering them with mine. Right now, I seem to have forgotten where I put my pride and self esteem, so when you first meet me, I seem pretty wierd. However, once you get used to me, you'll find out that Im a nice and caring person at heart. I love games instead of sports, but i do a lot of sports anyways. I hope I can find someone who can accept me for who I am....

try eharmony or match.com this isn't a website for finding a significant other.

Q: So I have a tattoo and I'm just curious about artists and who will work on what... Here's the deal: my tattoo is black and white and although I was very pleased with it at first, after a long while I realized it wasn't as detailed/shaded as good as I thought. Now I know tattoos fade, they need to be touched up and whatnot, but I've came to the conclusion that I'd maybe like another artist to touch it up/add more detail. The original artist wasn't bad, it just wasn't what I'd hoped in detail. Then oneday I happened to see another artists work and loved how he does his shading. Would it be wrong to ask this new artist if he could add more detail/shading to another artists work? Would a tattoo artist even do that? Any answers appreciated. Thanks.

yes a tattoo artist would and it's not wrong you are paying for the work so it's not a big deal.

bio

Hi, thanks for coming to my column.

The name is Diamond but Dia is fine.

20, female, jersey girl at heart. mixed race taurus natured woman.

So...the reason I made this was during the start of my senior year of high school I had reached a point in my life where I didn't want to live anymore. I was tired of fighting and didn't see the reasons to fight. It was a random stranger that made me realize I would be stupid to take my life and to stop fighting.

So if you think I'm going to tell you life gets easier, I'm not. Let's face it, it doesn't get easier. Through pain you get stronger and learn to open your eyes to those things that give you strength to live.

Mine happen to be music, writing, dr. pepper, anime, the color black, the way rain sounds, and an amazing boyfriend. What gives you strength to live?