Hey everyone, I have been giving advice on this site since I was 16 and have always been honest with the askee. I just feel that there is no point in lying as I would hate to be lied too and thats why I always tell it like it is. I also feel that when people lie - it causes more hurt than good. Anyone after honest advice - feel free to send me a question!!
Also if you EVER need additional advice just send me an email and I will get back to you :)
Dxxxxxxx
Website: debateists space
E-mail: debateist@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Writer
Age: 24
Member Since: December 20, 2006
Answers: 142
Last Update: May 7, 2014
Visitors: 11738
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alright so last night my boyfriend and i finally spent the night together after 2 months going out...im 16 and so is he, and he like wanted to have sex witch so did i.. and i like reached down to his pants and he like grabbed my hand? and wouldn't let me do anything.. so like.. it was really weird, we didn't end up having sex though because it got awkward after that and i just lost the motive to do anything i guess you could say hah. i think he is insecure about his penis im not sure if its because he is a virgin and im not... or what but i tried telling him it didnt matter but he changed the subject.. how can i approach this and tell him i dont care how big he is or not without him changing the subject. I think he feels bad but he wont let me tell him its ok.. its an odd situation but any advice on what i should do will help thanks.
[[please don't lecture me that were to young or something stupid like that]] thank you. (link)
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Hey there no lectures by me I know plenty of people who did it way younger than sixteen and anyway sixteen is legal in the uk where Im from!!
Perhaps he is just nervous that he wont be good. maybe you guys should try starting slow you know kissing etc before the reaching, to get him more comfortable.
But one thing not to do is well this may sound wrong but dont tell him you dont care how big he is etc otherwise hell maybe take offence ya know??
Get him alone and before you do anything tell him your fears if any and then try and get him to tell you his fears and then try again with the kissing etc first then the sex if you get what I mean??
good luck, I hope it all works out and that you guys last.
I hope I helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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how long does it take for a condom to expire.. like i took it out of the box in either July or August of 07 and now its April 08.. is it still ok to use.. its obviously still in the wrapper just not the box? (link)
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the expiry date is usually on the clear part of the wrapper also but it may have faded!! so I don't know exactly when it will expire however maybe you shouldn't risk it!!
good luck with it and hope I helped even if it wasn't that much!!
dxxxxxxxxxx
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k so me and my boyfriend had sex last night for about the 7th time. it always hurts really bad when he firts put it in. the 6th time i bled a little bit and i wasnt on my period. but last night i bled alot. i was on the end of my period though too, but it wasnt bleeding when we started. is it possible he popped my cherry? how can i tell? and when is it going to stop hurting? (link)
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I think that I would say yes if you have bled a lot then you hav as you said had "your cherry popped" To the hurting question the truth is there is no way of telling when it will stop it may never, this may sound wrong but perhaps your boyfriend is to big for you this can sometimes cause it to hurt a lot!!
I know I may not have bn of gd help but I hope it gets better for you!!
good luck!!
dxxxxxxxxxx
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I have an issue when it comes to eating.
Recently, within the last 2 or 3 months, I've noticed that I'm not eating breakfast or lunch. I'm just not hungry in the morning and I was always taught not to eat if you're not hungry. Just as I was always taught not to force myself to finish a meal if I'm full ... that it was unhealthy to "forcefeed" myself.
Even if I eat the smallest thing (I've tried to eat granola bars for breakfast and a PB&J for lunch) I get that queasy, I-just-ate-too-much feeling. Then I feel as if I may get sick.
So, what do I do about this?
I don't want to starve my body
The worst part is when I get home from school around 5ish (I have after school activities every day) I end up being hungry to the point of eating so much it compares to lunch and dinner. I don't eat more than a small snack after that (such as a granola bar) and before going to bed (usually around 10 or 11).
The process repeats itself until 5 or so at night. Basically, I don't eat anything from 10pm-5pm.
How do I fix this without feeling nautious when I do eat?
I know the reason my body gets the starvation feeling in the late afternoon is because I haven't eaten, but I can't bring myself to eat in the morning because of how sick the food makes me feel.
I'm not dehydrated or anything - I drink anywhere from 3-5 water bottles a day, sometimes more...
I know that I have a problem, I just don't know how to fix it. (link)
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hey there have you tried things like smoothies and soup instead of eating solids all the time?? maybe even have a breakfast bar in the morning and a bit of fruit ya know??
Try as I say some soup for either lunch or dinner then maybe try bread with that and therefore your not starving your body of nutrition and from here you can move on to some solids even have a sandwich at sum point with the soup or instead of!!
The waters gd that way your not dehydrating!! Then again you may just not b a big eater as I know sumone who cant even finish a burger so that may b all it is!!
I hope I helped even a little bit and good luck with the whole situation.
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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anyone know of any rock/punk-popish everythings good kinda songs like
hanging by a moment -lifehouse
you had me at hello- a day to remember
and anything like that would be great thankyou (link)
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Hey there,
some of Simple Plans songs are good and some of Avril Lavines aswell!!
McFly now they rock most of their songs are as described I love them so much!!
Hope I helped sorry if I didnt.
Good luck with your search!!
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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so last night i dreamed that i was giving some dude a handjob and he like cummed all ove and stuff.
but the thing is, ive never given a hj.
in my dream, i did it so right though.
i know people have said that "dreams mean something", so could this mean that i should not be afraid to give a hj, bc i wont completly suck at it? (link)
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hey I have been told that dreams are supposed to mean the opposite so therefor it may mean that its not the right time for you to do this.!!
Then again if you hav a bf perhaps u were thinking of doing it and therefor dreamed about it because your worried!!
In the case of a hj and things like that its always best to just go with the flow if your gettin serious with a guy and you wanna go ahead.
I know that this is pretty crap advice and I appologise for that!!
Good luck with whatever you decide!!
dxxxxxxxxxx
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k im a 17/f and i hooked up with this guy who i liked. & he's in 2 of my classes. well i found out he was using me. he only want ed to hook up with me just to see my boobs and feel them up. (and he's really arrogant and full of himself, buff and he's a football player)well anyways i told some of my friends and i guess word got out & he found out & he's really mad at me. i tried to apologize to him but he wouldn't listen to me. because one day i told him i needed to talk to him & he said no. and i've been really upset. & i can't seem to ignore hi since he's in 2 of my classes and he's loud and always getting attention and everyone is always laughing at his jokes. (even me lol cuz well i still like him) (link)
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Hey there okay uve pretty much answered the question yourself he was using you therefor hes a jerk!! Youve absolutely nothing to appologise for you hooked up with the guy all the girls want when theyre in high school!! and I know how hard it is to ignore a guy u like in school especially when hes in your class but in time youle realse that you dont need an arogant self obsessed guy in your life your better than that !! I know that this advice is probably not what you want to hear but in the end you just have to grin and bear it and in the end youle forget all about him and move on to someone who is worthy of you and who wont treat you the way he has/ is.
Im sorry if you thought I was being cheeky and I hope I was of help!!
If not then good luk in the future in all areas college etc but especially love.!!!
dxxxxxxx
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I have trouble talking to one of my best friends. I am f/15 and my friend is m/17. We do talk a lot and we get into deep conversations, but it's hard for me to talk to him. Like, when he tells me how he's sad or hurt I don't know what to say back to him. I also have trouble with just regular conversations. I don't know what to say to him. I feel like he already knows everything. He makes me nervous. I like him as more then a friend and he has a girlfriend(who is a b****). She treats him and me like crap and he just can't see it because he thinks he loves her. :( But anyway, he says I need to be more laid back and just talk to him and have fun, but it's just hard for me. Give me any advice you can. Thanks :) (link)
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I have had this prob before also, when hes talkin about bein sad or hurt then just listen and then just reasure him that no matter what he can talk to you and you could also at this point maybe share some of your hurt feelings you no then you may feel a lil more comfy around him. Try and when your talkin to him forget that you like him as more than a gd friend a no this is hard but you may feel a lil more at ease.
try speakin to him like you would a gf .
In the situation of his gf dont worry hell soon have enough of her and the way she treats him and although you will hav to grin and bare it just now in the end u will b there for him and if he confides in you then he prob already nos that.
Good Luk and I hope all is well with your situation soon.
I hope I helped.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I dont know if I spelled that right but do they really work? (link)
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yes they do work a no that a lot of people say that its a load of old rubbish myself included but my mum has used it before and it told things that no one else in the room could hav nown and also the glas smashed itself against the wall. however if u do use it tread with caution as u will prob still b curious.
good luk.
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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Okay I NEVER breakout in pimples. Well guess what? I did. I thought "no big deal, I'll just use my face cleanser and after awhile they'll go away". Well just as I am thinking this my mother walks in and tells me that this wed. is picture day.
I have 1 small zit & 2 LARGE zits. I have popped the small and 1 of the big zits but the other just won't pop and it's extremely painful to ever touch.
What do I do!? (link)
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okay you should try toothpaste on it over nite this will take the puss out sounds strange I no but trust me it works however if you cant get this try OXY it will cost a bit but basically its a small red tube of stuff that helps within four hours ask your pharmacy they should have it.
hope Ive helped and that your problem vanishes before then, defo trust me on the toothpaste though all the stars do it!!
good luk.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I have not had sex in two months.We used a condom. I had my last period normal, And my second period about a week or two late, But it did come for the normal five days. I have not had any sympotoms of being pregnet that i know of. And i have about two weeks till my next period. But oddly i keep getting lower back pain and abdominal pains. Do you think i could be pregent? (link)
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the lower back pain and the abdominal pains can come with your period!! I doubt your pregnant however probably best and test just to be sure.
hope I helped good luk.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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so me and my boyfriend and whole bunch of other people are going to the fair this weekend, and i want to kiss him. we have been going out for a month now. how do i go for a kiss though, i mean really. just be like BABY LETS KISS? haha. im joking. but really, how do i go in for a kiss?
thanks!
(link)
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okay what to do is get him on his own and then you lean in for it and hopefully hell get the message hehe just go for it you already got the guy am sure hes dying to kiss you!!
soz my advice is sucky today I hope I helped anyway.
enjoy the fair and hopefully the kiss.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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hello.
my husband believes i don't desire him because i am not spontanous with sexual acts. i believe that sence i got pregnant my desire for sex has gone down thats all. i just want some suggestions as to prove that i do desire him. (link)
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Hey there, okay firstly this happens with women and pregnancy all the time so dont fret!!
things you could do !! are buy new sexy lingerie and cut the lights add candles and sexy music and surprise him after work. you will also have to take charge and explain to him that you want to show him how much you desire/want him.
I hope this helps write and tell me if it did.
soz its not much gd luk
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I'm a 19 female. I just got married 2 months ago and recently my husband and I rented an apartment. I love it here and things are going great..except for one thing. I invited a friend of mine to come live with us because he is leaving for a year in Iraq so I wanted another person in the house. Me and my husband smoke...alot. Two days ago she turned to me and told me she didn't want me or cook to smoke in the house anymore. I told her I would talk to him and discuss it with him. It's getting cold and it's my house I don't want to go outside. He told me to compromise with her and tell her we'll only smoke in the bedroom with the window open. I told her this and she said that she didn't want us to do that either because it goes into her room and she gets sick. We are trying to compromise but she wants it her way or she said she was gonna leave. It would be fine except that I have seen her smoke before and been around people that smoke. I am too the point that I want her gone. I can't stand being in the same room as her. Please someone help me so I don't kill my roommate... (link)
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In my honest opinion I think that you need to explain to her that shes your friend and that you love her however your room is your space as is hers hers therefor you have to explain this to her and also explain that although you love her as a friend you love your husband and need him and as this is your year with him before he moves to Iraq you want it to happy as you will be parted from him for a long period of time. This must be heartbreaking enough for you and you must tell her that you need her services as a friend now more than ever and ask her to understand. If she doesnt let her move out and then a week or so before your husband goes ask her or someone else to move in unless of course you need the financial help!!
hope I have helped and that you find a compromise for you and your friend.
good luk.
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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My 16th birthday is in 2 & half weeks. I really need some help on what to do. I know that some of you are probably tired of answering these types of questions, but I'd appreciate it. I live in St.Louis, if that matters.
I wouldn't want anything at my house, except for my friends to stay the night so anything fun. If you guys could tell me what your 16'th birthday was like, it would be greatly appropriated. Or even the parties that you've been to.
Thank you so much. (link)
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okay to be honest dint no anything bout st louis however i can tell you about my sixteenth okay well I am not a big lover of parties so for my 16th I and ten of ,my friends five girls and five boys all went out for a meal I no that this sounds boring even to me and Im writing it lol but it was great fun. You could maybe all go bowling also.
soz if this advice is rubbish, I hope i helped anyway even if just a little.
good luk anjoy youre sixteenth.
dxxxxxxxx
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15/f
my best friend, claims she hates this one girl. and this girl always calls her and wants to hangout with her. and i'm fine with that. its just. whenever i make new friends, i always include my old friends. yano? and she doesnt. she never does. and actually, i know this girl. quite well actually. i've known her for the past 4 years. so why doesnt she include me? i always include her with my other friends. i mean i'd understand, if me and her were just friends. but this is my best friend im talking about. so why doesnt she EVER include me?? i'm not a mean person. i just don't understand. (link)
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okay I no exactly where you are comming from here cause my bf is the exact same and what I did was I spoke to her about it !! I no this is nerve racking but I did and you no she wasnt angry or confrontational she listened and in the end we came out even better friends than before, I still havent met the said person but thats gd cause now the person is treatin ma bf like dirt and I am not best pleased any way. How to do this is to sit her down and just explain that you would like to meet with her and her new friend however it may be that she doesnt want to lose you to this new friend and that is why she is keepin her from u so tread and choose your words carefully!!
soz if am not much help
write bac and tell me how it went
hope I helped!!
dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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my friend kut used to be my best friend then we loved eachother then it fell apart then we became friends again then on and off flirting/hate over the summer. today was our first day of school and were in every class together but he wouldnt talk to me today but he said hi across the room and would smile at me or stare at me the rest of the day and i would catch him then hed look away. and my parents are gone him and another person everyother day will be bringin me to school. im NERVOUS to talk to my friend idk why. what could i do or say? i never get nervous hes just my friend! neither of us have dated but ive been asked out some by other guys. if it helps (link)
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It sounds to me like he still likes you by the way hes acting.
What you should do is talk to him as you normally would prior to the whole love scenario and then that way from there you can figure out wether you still have feelings for him or if all you want is friendship.
On the guy front if you wanna date these other guys you should but id advise doing so when youve sorted out your feelings for your friend first.
Things you could talk about are any new bands he is into or any films hes into that are on at the fliks etc.
Sorry If I am not much help, but good luk with your situation and I hope whatever happens you find your soul mate.
dxxxxxxxxxx
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I am a really nice person and everyone who meets me agrees. i am good at making friends but i have a hard time keeping them because i'm so shy/quiet and like to keep to myself (one time a classmate even called me antisocial). i dont know if its just me or the other person. for example, i was at this camp a month ago and met this guy that i really liked and confessed my feelings for him- but i knew nothing was gonna happen so i made almost no attempt to contact him until recently. when i did talk to him, it wasnt as big a deal i thought it would be. but sometimes i feel socially awkward. any tips of abating shyness/awkwardness when talking to ppl? its like i have anxiety/doubt that ppl wont like me anymore if they really get to know me so i dont open up. as a result, i hav no real "best friend", seldom get invited to go out to a movie or do something (partly because my parents are strict and partly because no one invites me) (link)
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Honey I am also shy so trust me you are not alone. Its good that you could be honest with that guy about how you feel this is sumthin I could never do.
The way I get over it when I can is I force myself to talk to people wether I am scared or not.
You dont have to totally open up all you have to do is speak to your gfs about your fave bands and films and about how hot he is from that band if you get where im cumin from.
You dont gotta tell them who you like like straight away I mean I didnt tell my bf this until Id known her over a year.
Trust is prob the issue more than shyness and that needs to be earned and over time you will learn to trust people more and then you will open up more.
On the invite situation you should try maybe getting together a small group of friends and going to the flicks. Even if you tell your parents they can pick a curfew and even pick you up and they should come around to the idea.
Soz it was so long but I hope I helped and I hope you make the kind of friends you can trust.
good luck
luv dxxxxxxxxx
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i need help deciding what i should be in life. like as a job or a college to go to.
all i know is that i hate history and science.
so any help? i want someting where i will get far in life. even jsut listing the possibilities out there for anything. just please help. (link)
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This may not seem like advice so sorry but I was the same place you were a few years back and I am now going into my second year at college. How I realised what I wanted from life was I sat and wrote down things that I liked to do and then I thought which of these I could do as a career.
I narrowed it down to a two choices so as I had a fall back plan which is always good to have.
In the end I got accepted for events and I have never looked back.
So good luk and I hope you find what you are looking for.
luv dxxxxxx
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im going to run track this year so i was wondering what all i should do to get ready for it? i know i need to run of course, but what else? thanks for the help! (link)
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No offence to up09 but my lil' bro is the track champ for unda 15 and hes only fourteen so heres advice from him.
1. suicides- theyre in the movie Coach Carter incase you dont understand my description. What to do is set a short distance of around 80mts mark this so as you stick to the same length. When you get to the end of each length touch the ground. up and back = one suicide.start with 15 for the first week and work it up by 5 or 10(whatever you feel) each week.
2. longruns - work it up from 15 minutes of non stop running every day keep adding around five mins on each week.
3.eat healthy and stick to fruit juice and diluted juice and water when training.
4.do twenty five pressups and twenty five sit ups mornin and night.
Hope this helps you with your track and good luck as I know it will be hard but if in doubt you can post me a Q and I will answer as soon as poss. I would also recomend buying coach carter as it has great advice for training.
good luck, sorry its so long .
luv dxxxx
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