Aucunu's advice column

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Q: I'm 17, female, about 5'6" and 110 pounds.
I hardly ever have an appetite and I'm rarely hungry.
I can't sit down and eat a meal, so I usually have one to three snacks a day.
I know it's really unhealthy for me, so is there anything I can do?

You may consider seeing a nutritionist. In some cases, people actually have fears of eating large quantities of food, but don't realize it. Note that this isn't to be confused with an eating disorder in which someone has a fear of gaining weight.

A nutritionist could help you get to the root of your inability to sit down and eat a meal. He will gradually increase your food intake and challenge you to introduce new foods to your diet.

If you wish to conquer this on your own, I suggest making goals for yourself. Perhaps each day you will eat a healthy breakfast every day. And once you're fine with that, eat a healthy dinner daily. And of course once you're fine with that, have a healthy dinner each day. And these meals don't have to be big! You may even chose to have 5 small meals a day. The key is to gradually make healthy changes rather than trying to throw yourself into something that at the moment seems unattainable.

Good Luck!

Q: Does anyone know the name of the lake on the Georgia and North Carolina border? i think its Chatuge or Chatanuga. It's near Hiawassee Georgia

It's Lake Chatuge. You can find out a bit about it using the link below.

http://www.greatgeorgiaproperties.com/Outdoor-adventures/Lake-Chatuge.htm

Q: i'm going to be a junior. i get good grades, am 2nd in my class and am very involved in extra-carriculars. i want to go to an ivy-league school, namely Columbia U. how can i prepare now? scholarship-wise, money-wise, transition-wise, acedemically (tests and whatnot), pretty much everything. i don't want to be shocked when i get there. i don't want to drown in ivy league madness because my high school didn't prepare me so well. so how do i prepare??

You sound like you're at the same place as I was when I was your age. I was accepted into my top choice college, so I'm confident in the advice that I'm going to shell out.

Scholarships: Check out Fastweb (http://www.fastweb.com/). Once you join the website, you have access to hundreds of thousands of scholarships that are available to you. Apply to as many as you can, because even if the award is only $100, that's an entire textbook that you can purchase.

Money: Like I said, scholarships are great. Also when you're applying to schools, see if they offer any scholarships related to your fields of interests (ie. Engineering, Theatre, etc.).

Transition: If possible, try some over-nighters. I lived overseas so was unable to schedule any, but they would definitely give you a feel for the environment. There's a book I read during the summer after senior year, called "1001 Things every College Student Needs to know" by Harry H. Harrison Jr. It gives you some information that can be useful.

Academics: I took the SAT in June of my junior year, and then took it for a second time in October of senior year. I never took any SATII tests or the ACT, but I know some schools really recommend or even require those. So definitely check. Collegeboard.com has a college search which includes all that information.

Other: Even though you say you're very involved, make sure you have a focus. Schools like to see students who have a specific passion. For example, I played 3 sports, was involved in the NHS and Key Club, etc. But I made sure I emphasized my passion for traveling. This shows the school that you're not just some robotic creature who wants to attend a tier-1 school, but that you're a person who is committed and passionate, and will be a positive member of their community.

I hope this gives you a pretty good idea of the preparation. If you have any other questions feel free to ask me. I'm the oldest child of my family so I didn't really have someone to guide me along -- so I have a pretty good idea as to how daunting this process can be.

Q: does the stila smudge pot get "all over the place" in the pot/jar?
i went to sephora and found it and when i opened the jar (the tester jar] it wass all like so messy inside do you think its because someone played with it or does it really get like that?

It has never gone all over the place in my experience. I've only gotten two though. So I'm thinking that someone was just playing with it and made a mess.

I definitely suggest to anyone to buy Stila Smudge Pot liner. It's great -- you can make a thin, slick line with a liner brush, or a thick, smudged line with your finger.

Q: Okay I'm going crazy... I've tried Proactiv and Clearisil, Clean & definitely not clear. What can I do about getting rid of this acne? I always breakout for no reason. I wash my face day and night...I also moisturize. I'm out of ideas. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Ms. Breakout Queen

Since you've tried so many OTC methods already, you might want to consider seeing a dermatologist. My younger brother used to have terrible acne and tried a bunch of different brands. Frustrated, he decided to see a dermatologist who put him on 2 spot-treatment creams and one lotion. Within just a couple of days his acne cleared up. His insurance covered the dermatologist, so you should check into clinics that accept your form of insurance.

If you decide not to go that route, perhaps find a cleaner such as neutrogena that has a morning and night cleanser.

I hope all goes well!!!

Q: Can php be programmed straight into html code (like javascript), or does it need compilers and servers?

In order to program using the PHP language, you must save the file using a .php extension. Of course with a PHP extension you can still write using HTML.

Also, your server must support PHP. I can't really think of any paid hosts that don't support it, but most if not all free hosts do not support PHP.

I hope this helps!

Q: I needs some new good rap/hip-hop songs...

not the ones that are on itunes top 100 please.
i have all the new ones like
lolli lolli (pop that body)
disturbia
a milli
dangerous..

i have all the "big songs"
i want new ones that not a lot of people have heard of please =) thanks

Well I'm not a rap listener. But I do know of a tool that you could use to discover artists similar to what you like. It's called Pandora Radio (http://www.pandora.com/) and all you have to do is sign up and then follow the instructions to create a radio station. What happens is you enter in the artist for the base of the radio station, and then it will play one song by that artist, and then the rest of the songs will be from various artist similar to the base artist.

I use it all the time. It's always nice to see if you like something rather than depending on people who don't really know what you're into. =]

Q: I am a women's dress size 4-6 usually. On the size charts I've seen, the smallest size I can find in Germany is a 34, which it says is an 8 in American sizes. Is that right? What would my German size be, do you think?

A 4 is about 34, and a 6 is about 36. Basically, all you have to do is add 30 to the American size and that equals the German size.

So, you'd be a 34-36.

Q: First of all there is NO ONE in my area that knows how to play the violin, so for lessons i would have to travel at least an hour everyday. I was wondering if anyone knows of a good online course or something that I could take, great books that have good explanations and pics, or if anyone themselves could explain how to or teach me a bit. I know how hard it can be learning independantly, but im determined and as I said, it is hard to find people who know how to play around here. It is mainly the fingering part that gets me. I can play instruments by ear usually it just takes a little start. Once i learn the scale well and a song or two, then I think it will come easy from there. Please help me find a good resource :) Thanks

I would check out the links below: http://musiced.about.com/od/violinlessons/Online_Violin_Lessons_for_Adults.htm .

Of course as a violinist, I would encourage you to do a bit more research on violin lessons nearby. Look in a yellow book. Go to a nearby school and talk to the music teacher and see if he knows of anyone who would be willing to teach. Even if it's actually a cello player who teaches you, at least you'll have someone to give you tips and help you fix problems you might not otherwise notice.

I am not classically trained. But I did start off with a year of group lessons. And I've taken master classes. I've played in orchestras for most of my life, and was the concertmistress this past year. I think that without those lessons, I would not have attained the level I am today.

Whatever your decision is, I hope you enjoy the violin. It's an AWESOME instrument.

Q: Help! How do i fix it?

I have split ends on the whole bottom layer.

I wash it every day. Somtimes every other day.

I excersize for an hour a day. (Dancing. A really intense class)

I drink a bottle of water a day, somtimes two, plus a whole cup of ice.

I eat a bowl of honey nut cheroes & life cereal with milk every morning. Then a bagel for lunch with gatorade. & for dinner ill usually have rice with an orange or soy beans.

Is it my diet? I use a good shampoo & conditioner, the Lanza line.

I dont use any heat stylers.

I use a leave in conditioner somtimes on wet hair.

& somtimes ill use spray on gel. Not too much but enough to get a curl.

My hair somtimes gets split ends but its usually after ironing if i dont wash it for 3 days.

I just got a haircut before summer started! Like half an inch.

14/F

My hairs long.. Down to halfway between my chest & belly button.

Help please!!
Good hair runs in my family. Now mines sorta limp. Not curly or straight but sort of in the middle wavy. With split ends.

Any help?

Thanks so much!

Don't worry. Your hair is not dying!

The summer is not always good on hair. If you're in the pool a lot, the chlorine will affect your hair's health. The length of your hair also makes it more susceptible to breakage.

I suggest getting your hair trimmed at least once every three weeks. Also, the next time you're at a hair dresser, ask him or her for some tips on caring for your hair. Sometimes all it takes is changing your hair products to make a world of a difference.

Q: what is the average weight of a teenage girl between the ages 15-18?

That depends on the height. Someone who is 5'8 won't have the same healthy weight range as someone who is only 5'0. Check out the link below for weight with respect to height for teens.
http://www.docshop.com/2007/12/15/height-and-weight-chart-for-men-women-and-teens/

Q: Okay, I wrote an essay about this amazing service project that never happened. It was about home repair...I said I started this program and repaired like fifty homes.

so I got selected for the scholarship program I applied for....i have to work 10 hours a week...I told my parents i didn't want to do it and they said either I do it or I don't go to college in the fall and will take a year off. (Theres no way they can pay for my college without the program).....

I don't know what to do...I feel horrible about lying and will never ever do it again...I don't want to do the program, but I want to go to college! I'm so worried and upset...I have noone to talk to about this....I hate myself...I know i shouldn't have lied, but what should I do?! please, please help me!

You have two options:

1) Fess up. The scholarship will undoubtedly be taken away from you. But it will then be given to someone more deserving of it. It'll take a lot of courage to admit to what you did, and you're going to lose some major respect. But in the long run, at least you won't have any regrets about doing the right thing.

2) Keep your mouth shut and enroll in that program. Of course, you risk someone finding out the truth about the essay. And if they find out before you fess up, the consequences could be graver.

Unfortunately, you made a mistake and now you're going to have to live with the repercussions, no matter what choice you go with. Is there an inexpensive community college you could attend? Any college is better than no college, so don't think you have no other options.

Good luck, and I hope you make the best decision.

Q: i recently sold my house. and im moving and leaving all my freinds here. but i have my best freind in louisiana which is where im moving. and itsw my first year of high school. what do i do?

I've move a lot, 9 times I think. I, too, moved before my first year of high school, but to another country. It's not easy to move, but try to make the best of it. Once you get there, join a rec center or somewhere else you know there will be people your age. This way you'll meet some people besides your best friend who you can talk to once you start school.

When I moved right before my 9th grade year, I made some major mistakes. I'll share them with you and I think they should help you. I didn't have a lot of friends in 8th grade, but those I did have I felt close to. When I moved I became very active in the school and made a lot of new friends. I desperately wanted to stay in touch with the old, too. Only one would initiate conversations with me. Of course she hated who I became (I didn't become a bad person; like all teens I matured. I became more confident -- the person I am today) and this led to a lot of disputes. The other 4 I always had to be the first to phone or instant message. Throughout freshman year I turned down invitations so I could talk to old friends. Really, they sucked at keeping in touch and had no basis for not trying to keep in touch.

What I'm trying to say is be yourself. Your friends won't fully understand your new world. Incorporate them, but also listen to their new experiences.

And at school, be open. Join some clubs or sports. Talk to a variety of people at your school, and eventually you'll become a part of a fun circle of friends. Instead of thinking about what you could've been doing had you not moved (such as, 'oh I should be at my friend Stephanie's party!') focus on enjoying yourself in your new town. However, don't forget about your old friends. Tell them about your new friends, but don't forget to listen to them.

Q: okay.this is going to be long but if you need to know more about type two diabetes here is a link to a website that defines diabetes

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/diabetes/s

ymptoms_control.htm

so basicallly. i live in england and am a 14/f
i weigh 100 kg. thus (big suprise) i am obese.

that's one of the symptoms/causes of type 2

diabetes.
the other symptoms are:
Excessive thirst
Passing of excessive amounts of urine
Fatigue
Frequent skin infections e.g. boils
Itchiness
Blurred vision
Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal

but for me:
Excessive thirst- i don't really think i drink too

too much but i can't deny that i drink a lot but i

think i have always been that way, so i'm not sure.

Passing of excessive amounts of urine- okay this is

complicated. se since i was a kid, i have had

problems wetting the bed. recently i've been

stopping and now in the night i can't get to sleep cos i keep thinking i need to go to the toilet which i do (every10 secs!) but barley any pee comes out so does it count?

Fatigue- i'm generally sleepy person but no more than usaul which is saying a lot because it's midnight although i'm yawning but i did i wen't to sleep lat ight at 330 am and woke up about 1 pm . is that sleepng for too long?

Frequent skin infections e.g. boils - no boils but we just got a cat and recently my les have in sore and itchy where the cat scrathed me. no infections however but i have strech marks

Itchiness
as mentioned cat allergies as well as hayfever so not certain. i'm not trying to excuse my itchienes but when i hug my cat then my eyes get itchy after so i'm sure it's the cat. i'm not sure about my legs but my mom (who is a doctor) says it's cos the cat scrathed my and the marks on my legs show some wierd thiing to do with glands that i can't remeber

Blurred vision - i wear glasses so thee's no way to tell

Leg pain - i'm not sure what defines leg pain but i super clumsy so i constantly twist my leg and i'm double jointed so as of yester day i'm on crutches and it hurts so i dunno

Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal the scrathes on my legs have been the same for a few days but i can't tell

one last thing, i really don't wanna go to the doctors because as i'm under 16 my mom would find out and i don't want her of all peole, to find out because she is a mean person. is ther a sure way for me to find out withut her finding out that i have it or not?????? help me!!!!!!!

If you're truly afraid that you have diabetes, you should go to the doctor. It's a shame that your mom is such a mean person.

Honestly, a lot of your problems are probably a result of your weight and inactivity. The more you drink and the less you exercise, the more you will have to urinate. This is because you are not sweating through physical activity to rid your body of some of the excess water. The fatigue is probably because you are inactive and thus have a harder time getting a good night sleep. Like you said you have allergies, which do play a large role in your itchiness. The leg pain is, like you said, from your double-jointedness and the fact that you hurt your leg.

Make sure you keep active -- a lot of your problems will go away through activity. If you are able to bring down your weight, the severity of diabetes also goes down -- there's a strong correlation between obesity and type 2 diabetes.
I hope everything works out fine for you!

Q: I decided I wanted to create a Writing Club at my school this upcoming school year. School is two weeks away.
I found out, about a month ago, that a girl had a similar idea to mine, and is actively trying to pursue it.

I tried to do the right thing by contacting her, and telling her about my ideas for the club, but I realized that it is not going to work. We are not going to be able to co-head this club together.

It simply will not work. Besides the fact that I don't actually know her, here is the issue. I'm going to be completely blunt here. Please do not judge me as a horrible person or anything, because I am saying this strictly from the (possible) success or failure of the club.

From what I know of the club, if this girl proceeds to make the club, it will only attract a certain group of people. I am sorry to say this, but it will attract people like her, strange, off-beat people. It looks like it will only attract her friends. I COULD BE WRONG, but from the history of how clubs go in my school, depending on who heads the club determines it's success.

I, on the other hand, do know a wide variety of people, or may be able to bring that.

There's nothing wrong with quirky people, but I think you all know what I'm implying. That was not my vision for the club. I wanted, if I could, to get different types of people.

Another issue is that she is very passive, and does not have a plan. I have a complete plan, and am very aggressive.

Basically, what do I do? As I said, I cannot head this club with her. I've talked to her about it, opened my mind and ears, and it is not going to work. We differ way too much.

Here are the options I created for myself.
1.) Since my Writing Club is a little more centered around Slam Poetry, I could call it that, as opposed to "Writing Club". Basically, same thing, different name.

2.) I could chill out for a while, and see what she does with her club. I'll go to a couple club meetings, and if it plays out like I think I will, proceed to make my own club later in the school year.

Help, please.

I completely get where you're coming from on that bit about the people she'd attract!

I would definitely take the clubs into my own hands if I were you. In order for something to become established, there has to be a strong leadership power in play. Unfortunately a passive person probably doesn't possess such leadership abilities, especially if she has no plan. So, if you want this club to succeed, you should fight for it. Perhaps have her give input, but you, yourself, should assume all leadership from the start.

I think naming it Slam Poetry will make it more selective and only open to a certain group, but that goes against what you said above--that you want a wide range of people to join.

Q: my friend always talks bout me behind my back, and im soooo sick ov her shit! She wont stop, but i want to keep being her friend. what should i do?

Why do you want to be friends with someone who treats you so terribly? Someone like that isn't worth anybody's time.

If you're sticking by her because she's your only friend, it's time to expand your circle. Join a club related to something you're interested in. You'll find people with common interests there, and that is an excellent foundation for friendships.

If you're sticking by her for any other reason, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would love to be your friend. These people are probably frustrated that you continue to let her treat you like this.

It won't be easy to break of a friendship like this. But in the long run, you'll be so much better off.

I hope you make the right decision.

Q: Everytime that I try to help my sister with her baby, she yells at me if I do something wrong. Sometimes I just want to yell back at her and tell her all the things that she does wrong as a parent.Should I tell her how I feel? How should I do it if I do?

Is she asking you for your help before you try to help with her baby? If not, that could be why she's yelling at you.

However, if she asks for your help in the first place and yells at you, something should be said. Sometime when the two of you are together alone, tell her you want to talk to her. Then proceed to tell her exactly how you feel. Be tactful though. Mention that you're helping with the best intentions and you feel bad if you do something wrong, but that at times you feel like her yelling is excessive.

I hope everything works out between you two.

Q: I recently got a used car (2001 Pontiac Grand Am GT) and it's been in a wreck and the drivers side airbag, that is in the steering wheel has been deployed and there is actually no airbag there at all, not to mention the horn is non existent as well.

It is possible to replace the whole steering wheel? Or am I stuck without the two?

Thanks.

It is entirely possible to replace a steering wheel. Some people are able to do this on their own (I'm not one of those people!), but you can also take your car to a nearby dealer or garage and have the wheel replaced. By the way, depending on where you live, a horn is required for inspection. And in some areas, so is an air bag.

Q: Hi guys, I just started learning how to drive about 1 month ago. I'm taking it very slow, my dad's teaching me. Thing is, I'm terrified of driving. I've been on the roads already, and I literally have panic attacks every time a cars next to me, or pulls out in front of me, or anything! I just need advice on what to do. As my dad puts it I have 'no self confidence' in my self. He says I drive better than I give myself credit for.

I'm feeling hopeless, like I'll never be able to drive without feeling flustered..or so nervous that I want to cry. Any inspirational driving stories that could help me out? Or anything?! Thank you!

Your dad is right that you don't have much self-confidence. But as you gain more experience, your confidence will grow. You should try driving around an empty parking lot. That way there will be no cars surrounding you, but you'll still have the chance to work on your skills. As you become confident in that, move up to fairly empty country roads. And once you're confident in driving long stretches, try driving in more populated areas. The key is to gradually introduce driving to yourself. Eventually you'll be like an old whiz at driving.

If that doesn't help, consider paying to take a class. The instructor will have experience with people who, like you, are nervous on the road -- and he should be able to help you gain this confidence.

Lastly, just remember that not everyone is a good driver. So there will be people on the road who do the wrong things. However, most people do what they're supposed to do. Instead of worrying about others around you, focus on scanning the road and checking for obstacles. Also, focus on the signs and street lights.

I hope all goes well with your driving!

Q: Okay, so I'm flying to Germany from New York tomorrow on Lufthansa airlines, and I was wondering if there was in-seat screens. (economy class) If there are, do you know if they play ABC family??! Because I'm gonna miss Secret Life of the American Teenager when it first airs at 8, but it comes on again at 12 am when I'm on the plane, and if I could watch it that would be great. I went on the website but it mentions nothing of TV so I really don't know.

I've flown Lufthansa several times, from Germany to visit the states. They do have in-seat screens in economy class. I always watch movies instead of tv, but I have a strong feeling that they don't have ABC Family. You can check out this site for the Lufthansa Entertainment: http://www.lufthansa.com/online/portal/lh/de/info_and_services/on_board?l=en&nodeid=1771529&cid=18002 .

By the way, I'm sure you could catch the show online through downloading. =]

///Edit: If you go to abcfamily.go.com you can watch the episode you missed! I had to watch it on there the other day.