ralili's advice column

askralili

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I've been with a guy alittle over a year and I want to know exactly how do you know he's the one.I love him and we've been talkin about marriage so how do I know he's the one

While reading your question, I was thinking that you had answered you own question. You said you love him. If he loves you, and he will make a great life with you, then that is good enough for me. You said you love him and are talking about marriage, so it sounds like you already answered if he is the one or not, but I think that if you really love him, you wouldn't of put this question on here. If he ever saw it, I would think he might like you a bit less.

Q: My family doesn't like my BEST friend, and I have no idea what to do.. I mean I love this girl with all my heart and soul.. and my parent's don't approve simply because her taste in music and guys.. and her style in general. What do I do? DO I stop being friend's with her like my parent's want, or should I just go with my own inxtinct and stay friend's with her and try to sort something out with all of them?
PLEASE HELP :[ I REALLY NEED IT.

It would help if I knew what she was like. My best friend is an idiot, and very different from me, but I still hang out with her. My parents sometimes think she's to "ditsy", but they still let me choose my own friends, and my own mistakes.

Update: Since I now know more, I will tell you that I rather like emo. I find them to usually be great friends, and hot guys. lol. I have emo friends. If you are becoming emo because of your friend, then I would agree with your parents, but if you are staying yourself, while being her friend, then stay with her.

Q: My boyfriend, of 2 years, just recently broke up with me, well like 6 months ago. He never really allowed me to let go, so I never really did. But finally we started drifting apart, and then he messages me & tells me that he wants me back.
I had met a boy, and we had been "talking" & I thought I liked him, until my ex tells me that, then everything this boy did, completely annoyed me. Well, my ex found out that I was talking to someone else, so he stopped talking to me, for about a week or so & me & this other boy grew closer, so we started dating. Well my ex comes back & I cheat on my new boyfriend, I told my boyfriend & he didn't get really mad, which bothered me. He let me get away with it, because he said he didn't want to lose me.
Now my ex rarely talks to me, because my boyfriend threatened him. & I want my ex back so bad. But I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. We've almost been together a month & he's super attached & so is his family. But I've been having to make up excuses to just not see him because he KILLS me. I just want my ex back, but I don't know what to do.
I can't break up with my boyfriend, because he's too attached & I've tried before & it just doesn't work.
I know this is long & confusing, but I really need help.

Your boyfriend sounds to me like the better guy. I think he will be more worth while to stick with. Suck it up girl, and when his grandfather dies, you need to really be there for him, especially if him and his grandfather were close. It will be a hard time for him, and he will need you. Don't be the stupid one and lose a great guy. Trust me, I have let to many perfect guys get away for someone I thought could be better. Sometimes I don't feel close with my boyfriend, but I know how much he cares for me, and it's hard to find someone else like that. Also, if he needed me, no matter how bad I felt, I would be there for him.

Q: There's this guy at my church who's my age, let's call him "Mike" and I've had a little crush on him ever since I started going to this church, and it's been like 5 years now. And we're both 16. I know his grandmother and his mother, and I'm really close with them both, and they absolutely adore me. But me and Mike never really talked a lot until last year I had a bonfire at my house for the teens at our church. We talked a little, and we have little conversations every now and then. But I REALLY want to talk to him more, I just don't know how. And when we go back to the Teens Group during Service, I feel like he's always looking at me, and when I look over, I catch him. The thing is, he got a girlfriend a couple months ago, and she's 21! She's five years older than him! But idk what to do. Should I just let it go? My mom knows Mike, and she said that she always had a feeling that we would end up getting married or something. And we would look so perfect together. We both have brown eyes, and hair, same complexion, everything.
But what should I do? I find myself always thinking about him, and the other night I had a dream that we started dating, and I woke up with the BEST feeling in the world. Any advice on what I should do? And how I should strike up more conversations with him.
Thank you so much!

Start be being friends and work your way up. You can start conversations by asking him how his week was, or maybe you could invite him to the movies. Start with small talk and work your way up to a relationship.

Q: I like this guy and my friend is going out with him and they fight alot... And he always want's to talk to me.. we get along really well. but he's dating my best friend.. they been going out for 2 weeks.. what do you think i should do i dont want him to get hurt staying with him.. but i dont want to hurt my friend by stealing him away from her..

One of my number 1 rules of dating is never date a friends ex or crush. Especially a best friend that you want to keep. She had him first, so move on and find a different guy. I know from experience. I have taken 2 guys that my best friend liked. She stayed my friend, but she is very jealous, and I ruined her friendship with my boyfriend, which makes it hard on me since they always fight. I can't hang out with them both, because they don't like to be around each other. I suggest finding some other guy.

Q: alright well me and my bestfriend went out a year and a half ago and it was great. well we always text at night and stuff and he always tells me he thinks im gorgoues and that he wants to hookup with me.. he also tells me that if i was single alot of guys would come chasing after me... well i cant tell if hes interested or not

help please!

He seems very interested to me. If you want, you should ask him out.

bio

I like to give relationship advice. I also like to receive it. It's funny how that works. I was in a relationship when I started using Advicenators and we are now good friends. I like someone now who is in a relationship. Stuff is very confusing, but I handle it well.