Member Since: August 7, 2007
Answers: 100
Last Update: November 21, 2009
Visitors: 6068
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This is a bit lengthy! Sorry!
I have this "friend", but I don't want her in my life.
We met in college and got along OK on a superficial level, but when we got to know each other more, I just didn't like her. I think she's arrogant, self-centered, and judgmental, and I think she just really brings out the worst in me.
After we graduated, I thought we would just naturally lose contact. When she would contact me, I would be polite, thinking I would never see her again so there is no point in being mean and telling her to leave me alone.
Time passed, and I kind of forgot about her and what I thought of her. We recently got in contact again when she moved to my area. Since I was also new to the area, I thought we could be friends.I thought maybe people change, or that I had been to hard on her.
Anyway, these old feelings of how I think she is came back and I just want her out of my life. She has said so many hurtful things to me. It's just like college. She criticizes in this hurtful way, but acts like she's been a helpful friend.
I have tried to tell her that some of the things she says to me hurt me, but she gets super defensive, and I just end up feeling like the bad friend.
I would just cut ties with her with no regrets, but it's not that simple. Here's what makes the problem more complicated: She's befriended my friends, and I don't know what to do. She kind of weaseled her way into my group of friends. (Completely my fault because I'm the one who introduced her) I so desperately want to talk to my other friends about how I don't want her in my life, but I don't want to come out as the b*tch who bad-mouths people. They seem to get along with this girl (although they haven't had the same 1-on-1 time with her as I have.). If they truly get along, I don't want my dislike for her to jeopardize their friendship. I think they are still in that "superficial" level of friendship that I was in with her when I first met her. I want to stay friends with my other ones, but I don't want there to be tension. I don't want them to have to choose between us. Do I have to get rid of all my friends to get rid of her and start fresh? I really don't want to lose my other friends. So far, I have just been fake with her, trying to be as nice as I can. It makes me feel like a hypocrite, though.
I also want to add that these other friends are still a bit new to me as I have just moved to the area. That is another reason why I don't feel comfortable confronting them about this problem with the other girl. I've tried talking about this problem to my family, but they just say to "ignore her." If that is the only solution, how do I manage to ignore someone that makes me feel bad about myself?
Thanks so much for any help! (link)
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before you tell her you need to get your other friends together all at once if possible, that way she dont get stuff started. explain to them that youve really tried with her and what happened last time tell them you see it happening all over again, and you dont want that kind of person in your life, tell them your not making them choose you want them to be friends with who ever and when ever but you dont want included when she is tell them to make an exccuse for you if they want tell them how much they mean to you and you hope things with her dont turn out bad for them also, mmaybe they just put up with her for you anyway, you dont know until you ask, and dont let someone like that ever make you feel bad people use you to make theseles feel more incontrol and better about themselves. after you have talked it over with your friends talk to her. dont let her get the upper hand, if she tries leave. its better to do it at her plae that way if there is a scene no one sees it, and you can always leave when you dont want to hear anymore, dont let it get to the point where you are listening to her side politely tell her she no longer has that option and thats the way it is. you will feel free as a bird when you walk out, and you will be in control. lots of luck BRIE
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im 17/f and i was wondering how i would foreplay with my boyfriend! could someone please help me (link)
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well you want to be safe so make sure neither of you have anything. then make sure you use protection if it gets that far, have it on hand. then you could start by kissing him from the neck down [stop where you want] massage, warmed oil rubs are great all over, if ya know what i mean, make sure you miss the main area for a while it heats things up a bit, act like its an accident when you touch him there every now and then,then go for that area a while, then other areas and keep that up until he cant take it and go from there. good luck BRIE
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My boyfriend for 5 months broke up with me because of another girl. It hurts me a lot.. I really love him and i gave him everything. It's only 2 weeks since we broke up and he is now with that girl. He told me that he loves her already and that there's no chance that we'll get back together.. What is he talking about? Is it that easy to forget the memories we had? Is it that easy to forget someone you loved? Two weeks ago he just told me that he loves me a lot and that i'm the only one for him.. And now, he's inlove with another girl.. He just met that girl in disco and they've already slept together.. His family is doing everything for us to get back together. They told me that they don't like his gf and that i'm the one they want for their son. His brothers are telling me that he still loves me, they said that he's just confused. But i don't feel his love anymore. He doesn't call me anymore. He said that he's not calling because his gf is jealous. He's so mean. His family told me to never give up because they are sure that we'll still get back together. I still love him and i'm still hoping that he'll go back to me.. What should i do now???
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men and women do not think the same, one uses the left side of the brain and the other the right, thank god it wasnt years before it happened, he doesnt love her, he doesnt love himself, feel sorry for her she slept with him and is being used,even though you want to hate her dont its not worth your time. move on you were fine before him and you will be even better after because you have learned not to believe what everyone says,when you said i love you, you understood what it ment, when he says it it probably meant as much as i love hamburgers, not to hurt you but hes very very immature. and im sure his family would love for you to be there waiting to pick up the pieces when this falls apart. no way babe, let someone else, that would only show him that he could do whatever he wants when he wants like a child and you dont need a kid. there are many people out there who will respect and actually love you, and there are the opposite, use what youve learned and find someone else your way better, and you deserve to be treated like it. BRIE
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ok, this might sound really stupid but i dont know how to kiss someone. im 15 and my boyfriend wants to and i do too but im really afraid im going to mess it up. also is it sad that ive never kissed anyone before? idk i guess im just looking for some pointers. thanks. (link)
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put your hands together, move one and try to let the other follow slowly. thats all it takes he will move his lips and you will follow, dont forget to breathe through your nose, slowly. it will be just fine. and no its not sad, it shows maturity in you that you have waited until you were ready, use those skills sweetie and you will go far. BRIE
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I don't understand what I'm doing wrong or potentially not doing in like, life. All of my friends have had at least one boyfriend, and guys just seem to like them. It's not necessarily that I'm comparing myself to my friends, because I'm not doing that too much, it's just that I don't see how guys just overlook their friends and date random girls that they don't even know very well.
I'm in literally 7 clubs, and I'm really friendly and outgoing. I'm also smarter than many people my age (15). I've been told that I'm really pretty.
Does anyone have any advice to meet people maybe outside my school or social circle? Or have any idea as to what I'm doing wrong? (link)
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try to set back and watch, i bet there are a lot of guys noticing you, but you are so busy that your not getting the hints, tell a ccouple of friends who you like and im sure that will spread quickly, will also get you in the loop. most guys are shy, and wont just run up and ask for fear of rejection, be patient, all good things come to those who wait. LOTS OF LUCK. BRIE
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15/F
Is it weird to think that you like a guy that you don't even know?? because i think he is cute and stuff but i also think i like him too. (link)
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well i sure hope its ok, physical attraction is totally normal, and what we dont know we usually let our fantasies feel in the rest, i am totally head over heels for jonny depp, have been and probably will always be, but as long as you know the difference between the truth about someone and the blanks you have filled in, your fine, dont build someone up so far that the real them is a let down. hope i helped. BRIE
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hi, well you cant smoke marihuana and drink alcohol at the same time can you? someone told me you cant, so how long would i have to wait after ive smoked the marijuana, to drink alcohol. thanks.
p.s. i know marijuana isnt good, so please dont tell me not to do it, just answer my question if you can :) (link)
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I have been around alot of people who have one in one hand and one in another many of times, no its not good for you, i personally think drinking is much worse. how many people have you heard of wrecking a car from smoking? well how many have you heard of that their poisoned from smoking to much? yea me either, and my best friend has brain damage from alcohol his brain no longer tells his heart to beat. then again i get to watch my mother dye a little more everyday from smoking, go figure, her on oxygen, him on a heart regulater, it would be nice to know if im going to be alone this christmas. maybe your family and friends will, hope you are too, GET HELP! go play cards, get better people to hang out with, noone deserves that kind of pain. we all know fire is hot so we dont stick our hand in it. yet we still need to hear THAT STUFF WILL KILL YA? lots and lots of luck, oh yea that stuff will kill you!BRIE
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I've been in school for a week, and I feel/am so alone! I hate it so much. I came home crying. My parents keep saying it will get better after half a year or so..but I don't want to be the loner walking around on my own for 4 months! I've talked to some people...they are nice but they aren't exactly friends.
I hate being like this, and since all the lessons are mixed up, you don't have many lessons with the same people.
Can anyone give me ANY advice...and how could I make some friends at least?
Thankyou sooo much.
I'm always a happy person, but for the first time in YEARS I'm depressed... (link)
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try joining a few clubs at school or tutoring on a subj. your good in, alot of people are going through the samething tomorrow keep your head up, and you will see the loners, its hard to see if your all down in the dumps, i bet you will be suprised. keep in mind they are looking for a friend also and they are also a little down so get them to look up too. much happiness is on the way, and you are never alone. you always have your guardian angel with you. BRIE
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if you have bulimia, doesn't it take awhile to see blood in the vomit? i'm sorry if this is gros but i need to know..
i've only been bulimic for almost a year and i saw blood in mine. (link)
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honey your stomach acids eat the lining of the throat and esophagus, how long does it take to digest a piece of meat? a couple of days! now a while is different to alot of people but a year, lets call that a long while ok? thats a year of acid over a thin membrane in your throat, if you continue to destroy that membrane more and more blood will appear and eventually which IS NOT LONG it could even be the next time you do it. The blood may not stop which would be a bad way to go, please get help talk to a parent, counsler, or anyone you feel will listen, your one of a kind and very special i promise you will stop hurting if you get the help you so deserve, just ask for it. please BRIE
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sorry for making this long
ok my older sister is married and has two kids which makes them my neice and nephew and i've never even got to meet them my nephew is almost two and yeha i really want to see my sister and my brother-in-law and my neice and nephew i havent seen my sister or brother-in-law in like 2 or 3 maybe even almost 4 years well they live in Hawaii and i live in Wisconsin but she always takes time to go to texas or california to see my brother-in-laws family we've asked her to come ou here but she always goes to texas or something how can i make it clear that i want to see her i mean we've all told her we want to see her you know but she doesnt listen and doesnt get that me and my other sister nad my mom and dad and grandma miss her now my mom has got to see her like 3 times cause she's flown out there my grandma spent like 3 months there and my dad has seen them two me and my sister are the only ones who havent seen them and me and my sister used to be kinda close i mean we had lots of fun together she would take us to the pool or go iceskating or stuff like that and we would just like dance to music and stuff but since she got married and stuff we havent done anything like that and i really miss her but i dont know why but i cant be like emotional with my family it's just kinda weir but i want to make it clear to her that i miss her and that i wanna see her and that i'm mad at her for always seeing by brother-in-laws family (link)
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well i had the same problem with my ever so obedient sister who done whatever the old ball and chain wanted to do on his few days off a year.I got tired of begging her, so i wrote him a letter and told him how much it would mean to everyone for them to be at my mom and dads ann. party and how depressed everyone was without them every holiday, and how she really missed being back home, and wouldnt it be nice to suprise everyone if we could make that happen, by the time i was done i had him thinking it was his idea. guilt trips are great huh. you could even offer to babysit while they all go out for the evening like they used to. thats my advice honey,i hope it works out 4 u 2 oh yea did i mention my sister and her family live just a few miles away now. lets just say that i spent alot in postage stamps to make that one happen. BRIE
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My only friends are at church and are all older. I have none in school. I mean I have some, but I don't call any or talk with any outside of school. What should I do? And please don't tell me to be more out going and talk more. I already tralk a lot. And I've already tried to just invite someone over to my house or call them up. But then they called me too clingy. So what do I do? (link)
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Friends are like 4 leaf clovers chances are your not going to find one just by walking down the street, you have to put yourself in the clover patch, that way you have much better luck, all schools have clubs, or groups that do really fun things maybe you could look into a few if you like art you could help make and put up posters,you could also help people with their academics for about an hour after school, find a study group, remember your not the only one looking, someone is searching just as hard for a friend like you!! I hope you guys find each other soon. stay positive, and go out and find them they need you just as much as you need them. LOTS OF LUCK. so your telling me your school has no clubs, that would mean no yearbook, dances, no posters, student council or anything, i would really like to know the school, because everyone ive ever heard of had something. ask a counseler cause i think someone didnt know what they were talking about. you could also look in the yellow pages in the phone book for teen clubs, clubs, if you have a salvation army they also have activities that are free, they play games, pool, do homework and go on trips. and invite a few people over for popcorn and a movie dont let one person speak for the whole world. get out of that mood and go have a life. BRIE
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well, this is the first year our school has been open and so the theme for the first homecoming is a "black and silver ball" incidentally the schools colors. however im on student council which is like the homecoming committe this year and no one has any ideas for decorations! everyone wants this theme to work and for the homecoming to be extremely special. please please help. thanks (link)
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Try something with a night theme, dark sky, glittering stars, shooting stars, moonlight, small silver trays of chocolates for the tables, sitting on a shimmery tablecloth,they also have baloons with glitter that have black and silver make clusters and arches. use black glasses with silver ribbon,black napkins with silver lettering,you can also cut out siloetts of people standing or sitting put them on the walls, when the lights hit them it looks very nice, hopefully the girls will wear white, or something silvery and the boys opposite, that would work out most of the coordination. also you may try matching a small short vase of flowers on the tables to your theme. Have a great time, hope i helped BRIE
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alright. so i just got a henna tatoo on my ancle. its a small one, not HUGE. but idk how to take care of it, do i have to do anything special with it? nething will be helpful thanks so much. (link)
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use tripple antibiotic ointment for one week, or util its scabbed over and no longer itching, Do Not scratch or it will mess it up. then if you want it to stay looking good, you have to keep the area well moisturised with a little lotion every now and then maybe once a week, I have had mine for many years and it has stayed perfect, no fading at all! Welcome to the addiction!! Ps about any pharmacy will have the ointment and its only about $2.00 . BRIE
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Hypothetical situation: So, I'm in love with a girl, and she is doing everything in her power to repeatadley break my heart. I feel completely...
What word am I looking for? (link)
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you are looking for a sentence not a word. its called low self esteem. YOU DONT NEED THAT! you cant possibly love someone who hurts you all the time, you are afraid of being alone! thats why most people are in bad relationships, would you want your sister or your mother to be treated that way? no!you would want better for them, and you deserve someone better for you. there are to many people in this world for you to settle, go find another, who will deserve you, and appreciate you the way you do them. Please remember you deserve better. BRIE
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I have two problems and have tried talking to friends about it but they don't recognise it as a problem and simply laugh it off.
I have a very petite girlfriend and our relationship has recently become sexual. I am, how to put this tactfully? 'Well endowed' and penetrative sex for her is too painful, even with lots of stimulation and foreplay or lubrication. It doesn't seem to be a condition with her because she has not had this problem with previous boyfriends.
We have tried oral and manual stimulation as a way to get around this but I also cum a great deal when I orgasm and she finds this difficult, messy and 'disgusting' to cope with, her upbringing is a rather strict and traditional Indian family background and she feels unable to do such things without feeling guilty, or to cope with the results when she does.
Everything else in the relationship is wonderful but I am getting more and more sexually frustrated as we can't really get beyond kissing and cuddling without it causing problems.
Nobody takes this problem seriously and I'm literally crying myself to sleep many nights with frustration and can't think of any solutions, and don't want to break up with her over something like this. Please help! (link)
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ok hun they make sex kits that have different size toys you can use to build up to your size it will take a while so dont get impatient if shes not comfortable with you it will be a longer journey. there are many other things you can do for each other, while having oral sex wear a condom that way it wont be messy, she can also go down on you until your close then finish with the hand, it may take some practice but you can let her know when your about to peak, and you both will be satisfied, as for the upbringing, that could take years to get out of her head, if ever parents voices are hard to get out of your mind. you sound very caring, dont cry anymore everything will work out trust me ive been there. lots of luck to you both BRIE
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So, I have this shirt that's a bit too small on me, and I can't throw it away! It's just too precious. What should I do? I don't want to cut out the image and sew it onto another shirt, because that usually looks bad, and I don't want to add fabric, because that would look weird, and lastly, I don't want to add it to the back of a sweater, because it would ruin the specialness of the shirt.
WHAT DO I DO!?!? (link)
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well i know you dont really want to add to the shirt, but maybe it would be ok to run a thick piece of lace around the bottom and sleeves, ive done it on a few and it looks pretty good. if you are keeping it for sentimental reasons try making a pillow that way its something you can keep close. Hope i helped Brie
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hi you gave me advice on the bulimia thing and i was wanting to ask you some more questions because you've been through it. like how do you ask for help? i don't know what to say. i want help because i don't want to die, but i don't want to get fat. i'm just scared. i think you finally opened my eyes to what's real about it. everything i read on the net about bulimia never effected me til now.
thank you for anymore advice you could give me. (link)
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Thank you for taking the first step in recovery, give yourself a pat on the back you deserve it! write her a letter, tell her how long youve been dealing with this, tell her that you realize you cant handle this on your own anymore and you need her {she will go a little crazy but only because shes mad at herself} let her know that she shouldnt be. when she gets it together, she will want a face to face talk, be honest about everything honey let her know everything, its hard but you are strong you Can Do It. tell her how it makes you feel, why you do it , where you do it, answer her questions and ask her if she will help you, she will because she loves you. if you cant write the letter show her this site, and what you wrote, it pretty much says it all. remember you can do it you are worth it and you are loved and cared about, and if it were your mom in your shoes the help that you would want to give her. i know , its so hard! but you are way stronger, Lots of luck and you are in my thoughts BRIE ps write me anytime, after all we Are both survivers, weve both already proved that.
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so, me and this girl used to be friends, but now we hate eachother. like really badly. And she always fights with me (even now) about the stupidest shit. Well, today, she talked shit behind my back.......and she thought I was doing something similar, but I wasn't.
My question is : what's the best thing to do? Confront or just ignore and leave them alone no matter how upset you are? (link)
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Be so sweet it would make the candy man sick. people will see her as evil and you super good, sometimes you can get what you want with kindness, and its way more fun than stressing out, she will look pretty stupid to people for putting you down when you only say the kindest things about her. and it will drive her insane, which will result in a great big smile on your face. hey life can be great cant it? Have fun BRIE
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heyy!
ok, long story short, i want to break up with my boyfriend. We have had a horrible relationship-since february- and we barly talked to eachother.. I want to move on and become avaliable, so in order to do that, i need to talk to him to break up with him... but im not sure how to even talk to him, let alone break up with him face to face.. I'm kinda shy and so is he, but i really dont want to break up with him on the phone or on AIM because i think that is just rude. I dont think ill be able to call him because he doesnt have a cell phone, and i dont want him to get off the home phone and have to confront his mom- if she is home- so the only time i think i could break up w/ him would be during school, but i dont know when where or how to do it. I've herd from my friend who confirmed with him that HE wanted to break up with me. At first i wanted to just let him do it, but i would rather be the dumper rather than the dumpee.. i hope that made sence =]
Anything will help, and sorry if that didn't make very much sence..
Oh, and im 14/f by the way!
Thanks in advance for everything!! (link)
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write him a letter, sit with him while he reads it, dont appologize, your not in the wrong, just tell him youve both grown apart and its something you think will be good for both of you, make him feel like its a mutual decision, let him think its what he wants more than you, you have the power to control the situation USE It. talk him through it. when its over thank god for your freedom{until next time anyway} Lots of luck BRIE
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i just started highschool
most of my classes i have at least maybe one good aquaintance or something but i have these 2 classes where i feel so alone. theres this one girl sandra who i feel like im kind of friends with because shes my best friends friend but that doesnt necessarily mean shes my friend
and this guy sam who ive been through a lot with but we dont talk much anymore
sanda and sam are kind of friends
at least more than i am with either one of them
besides them i know nobody.
i sit alone in one of these classes andi just feel like such an idiot
i feel like i should try to become better friends with sandra so that she can sit with me but like than i dont know what happens to sam
and im always afraid that the teachers going to say
OK CLASS NOW FIND A PARTNER
and ill just be so embarrassed and i wont know what to do and this can be so stressful and like ill be thinking about it all day until i have the class and at night and stuff
sorry for making this so long
but i really dont want my freshman year to be so stressful because of this
any ideas on what i can do?
thank you sooooooooo much (link)
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Honey, i know how you feel, it is hard for everyone, i would like to ask you acouple of questions if i may, when is the last time you went somewhere by yourself, not including meeting someone, but went shopping or for a walk by yourself? been a while huh? you are having mild social anxiety, sounds like you need others to help you blend in. Please work on your self esteem, stand up, stand out be proud of yourself, every one has fears we just have to learn to deal with them, if someone picks partners, remember your stomachs not the only one turning. you will have a partner, and maybe make a new friend,everyone from the teachers to the preps have fears its part of life, relax remind yourself your not the only one, everyone is hiding a fear, learn to hide yours, try selfhelp books they can really help. Lots of luck Have fun, and be happy. BRIE
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