QueenofDiamonds's advice column

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Q: Hey , I was wondering ,
I got a little situation , and don't know what to think of it ,
well see my bf and me started dating not too long ago , and he says he wont cheat on me he wouldn't do anything to hurt me , and all this other stuff , and hes becoming the QuaterBack for football.. and I don't know if I could trust him? Do you think I should trust a guy that says he won't cheat on me and won't do anything to hurt me if hes still the QuaterBack football player? because my friends don't trust him..

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP :)

Betty

Hi,

I don't think you should set out to not trust your boyfriend. I mean honestly all you can do is trust that what he's saying is true. Unless he's ever given you a reason to NOT trust him. I say then yes trust him. But if he's already broken that trust then break up with him.

Q:

I caught up with an old high school friend about 3 weeks ago he came to town from 2 hours away to visit family and friends. I'm currently in a relationship but it's abusive and I'm trying to get out of it. However over a period of 2 and half weeks I think I may have fallen in love with my high school friend. We talk on the phone all night and we have so much in common and my heart beats faster everytime I hear him talk to me and I cry sometimes because I miss him and I feel really bad. The thing is he lives 2 hours away...He said he will move back down to my hometown but it's so hard to hear him say that when he might not be able to keep his promise. I think I am in love but I'm not sure. I can't seem to get my mind off him and when he calls me I have a big smile on my face. I told him that I think I really like him but I haven't told him everything only because I feel like I should hold my feelings back but it's so hard I want to wait for him to move back home but I feel like I also can't wait forever. I have no idea what I should do... Am I in love? According to what I'm telling you? WHAT is happening to me!!!

Hey,

It sounds like you're falling in love with him. I definitely think you should give this relationship a chance get away from that abusive creep of a boyfriend and move on with your life. Even if things don't work out with your high school friend at least you got away from your abusive boyfriend.

Q: Does anyone know where I can buy Jesse McCartney shirts? Or just Jesse McCartney apparel in general? I've tried google and sites such as that, but I've only found one place and I don't really like what they have.

It's a gift for my friend, and I'd really appreciate some help. Thanks.

Hey

There's a site called jessemacstore.com. They have some stuff here.

Q: Hi does anyone know where to get the little rubberbands that around your fingers. Like the ones that are on the bags you get when you buy fish at a pet store.
Please answer asap. =]

Hey,

Try staples or another office supply store. Walmart might have them too in the office supply section.

Q: Well until a few years back i used to be a deep thinker...I was amazed when i read my old journals because i couldnt belive how i've lost contact with myself these days...there is so much stress around me...i used to write brilliant poetry before... but now when i write poems they sound lame... i wanna be the same deep and articulate person that i was...how??

f/19

Hi,

I had the same problem that you had. I looked back and thought what happened to me? that me that I liked. Luckily I've had a lot of time to myself. And am starting to see when a lot of things changed me as a person. I think if you want to be the person you used to be you're going to have to do a lot of deep soul searching. Spend some time alone. Just yourself. Go to the park pick a bench and just think.
Think about when you really started to see yourself change. We're there any specific events that caused a dramatic change for you? When did you first start feeling stressed. What factors in your life have changed to cause stress. Sometimes for me I try to look back and at a time when I was truly happy. And when I think that changed. You can bring a journal if you want. And write about specific memories that jump out at you or an experience that could have had something to do with you going from deep to vapid. It might be a long process but once you figure out and deal with whatever changed you, It will be worth it.

Good luck.

Q: I have dated one guys for 5 years now an he has cheated on me 17 times. I moved out from his house an now i live with someone i really get along with. Everytime i try to break up with the other guy he begs me not to do it that he will change. Please i need so advice on how to tell him i dnt want him no more

Hello there,

Seventeen times is WAY TOO MUCH! SNAP OUT OF IT !!!!!! You told him that you were going to break up with him and he said he'd change. obviously that didn't work. Time to take action. Leave and don't look back. Don't give him an explanation just leave. (frankly he should already know the reason you broke up with him) You don't owe him a thing. I think he lost his right to an explanation after the second time he cheated on you. I'm all for having sympathy for people but you're just hurting yourself.

Q: okay hey guys so i just wanted someone else’s opinion on this.

last year I went out with my ex boyfriend for about a year and then last September he all of the sudden broke up with me telling me he had no more feelings they changed. We had a great relationship and nothing was going wrong at all and he always told me no matter what he was always going to love me. Ever since the whole break up I haven’t spoken to him unless I had to because of school or something related to school.

I have music class with my ex and he’s always looking at me or talking really loud so I can hear things about his band and always making out with his girlfriend of the week in front of me and he’s always playing the songs he wrote for me in music class. Keep in mind I don’t ever talk to him and I sit and mind my own business in the back of the room.

I really don’t understand it. Every other girlfriend and boyfriend break up and either they talk or they don’t. this has been about 9 or 10 months now that we haven’t been together and I feel like it just doesn’t end I feel like there’s still something there.

Thanks so much I just wanted to know someone’s opinion on this whole thing

Hi,

It sounds like there's something there. I think you should sit down and have a talk with him. About what you want and what he wants settle it once and for all.

Q: me and my boyfriend broke up last night and he says its because of who i am...that im just a messed up person...our arguements are so dumb and when we get to a point were we are going to break up over them it just kills me and all of our arguments i dont ever have a say so...i dont ever get to explain my self...its always him pointing me out that im wrong for this and that and im just a shady person...and when i do try to explain myself he tells o just shut up those are just excuses and for me to just keep it real...I FEEL LIKE IM BEING LOOKED AT AS A LITTLE KID THAT CANT TALK BACK TO THERE PARENT... OUR LAST ARGUEMENT WAS OVER CLOTHES.... WE WERE SUPPOSE TO GO TO A WATER PARK WITH MY FAMILY AND WE WERE TALKIN ABOUT HOW I HOPE THERES GOING TO BE NICE WEATHER AS SOON I SAID THAT HE SAID, WHY WHAT YOU GOING TO WEAR? I TOLD HIM I DONT KNOW YET ME AND MY MOM ARE SUPPOSED TO GO SHOPPING FOR SOME CLOTHES BEFORE WE GO TO THE WATER PARK. HE GOT MAD AND SAID, MAN WHY DO ALWAYS TRY TO GO AROUND THE BUSH I SAID HOW? HE SAID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR DONT ACT DUMB THATS WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO YOU TRY TO TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD TO WERE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO WEAR. I TOLD HIM THAT WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT I JUST TOLD YOU I DONT KNOW YET ME AND MOM ARE SUPPOSE TO SHOP FOR SOME CLOTHES. HE JUST KEPT GETTTING MAD AT ME AND TELLIN ME IM A LIAR THAT I DO KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO WEAR AND THAT I JUST WANT TO NOT TELL HIM BECAUSE I KNOW HES GOING TO GET MAD OF WHAT IM GONIG TO WEAR HE ALSO SAID THAT I JUST WANT TO WEAR WHAT I WANT AND SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND THAT IF I LIKE LOOKING GOOD FOR EVERYONE ELS THEN I SHOULD BE A MODEL AND POSE FOR EVERYONE. THAT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE THATS NOT WHAT I DO I JUST GET DRESSED BECAUSE I LIKE TO LOOOK CUTE...I JUST KEPT TELLING HIM I HATE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE THIS....AM I WRONG?? OR IS HE THE THATS WRONG...WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Hey,

I usually hate to be the one to say it but this guy sounds like an insecure jealous possibly abusive DOUCHE BAG. He's probably one of those guys who are afraid to let his girlfriend out of his sight. If these are the nature of your fights where he accuses you of things and is overly paranoid. He's sounds like he could possible become abusive. I personally think you're better off without the deadbeat. Even if he doesn't normally accuse you of things like this he still sounds like a loser. You're not wrong about this. Be glad you finally got rid of that punk. You deserve way better.

Q: 13/f...i'm in love with my best friend. it's tearing me apart. my ex-bestfriend recently broke up with her boyfriend, and everyone thinks the best friend i love is going to go out with her again, because theyy've recently been talking a lot and went out earlier this year for awhile. he makes me confused, and sends me mixed signels. but i really, really like him. what do i do?

Hello,

I always advise people to spit it out. No good comes of keeping it in. Better to talk to him before he gets another girlfriend then after. And besides think of it this way; Right now you have nothing, so if you have nothing even after you tell him not much will have changed will it? So you won't be much worse off.

Q: hi,
well theres this boy. hes a senior im a sophmore, its no biggie. well me and him started talking, first as friends, then into something more. everything was good. but he also had a girlfriend at the time. he told me he liked me and wanted to be more than friends. and he said the only reason he didnt leave his girlfriend was because that was his managers sister. ya know how people can get with that with work ? i dont know? but i mean i knew it was wrong to still tlk to him in all, buh i really fell for him "/ , well then he tells me we shouldnt talk because hes still inlove with ex ! mean while he has a girlfriend? yeah playa i know, it gets worse. so as a couple days go by, hes tryin to work stuff out with his ex, buh she moved on and dosent want anything to do with him now. he just whatevers the sistuation and is now still dating that girl, and now talkin to some other girl . i know hes a player and i know hes not worth it . buh i really like him still, and its like i only fall for the jerks ! i dont know what to do, buh i wanna doo something to see if he gets jealous, buh i dont know what to do ? i want to see if he still likes me. ya know. it could be soo pointless, but im just a girl :) and i hate when i get played with. who dosent.

Hi,

I hate to say this but this sounds like a case of low self esteem. We all get this way of course you're not the only one. The lord only knows how many idiots I've liked because I couldn't get it through my head that he was not good enough and I was better than that. After a while though I learned that I was and ditched them BEFORE I fell for them. Honestly I think you should forget him. He might be hot blah blah, but don't settle for someone who can't make up his mind and sounds like an utter waste of space. Find someone new.

Q: Okay i need some anger managment tips, because i have really bad problems. I get really angry really quickly. And i bite myself, i know its not healthy and i want to stop, but it feels so good. It takes away the pain...

Last july i had a problem with my cousin. He tried to get me to make out with him and he was getting really close to me and i didnt like it. He left and i tried to block it out of my mind, and i did for a while. Well then he came back during semester exams and i freaked out again, then he left and came back again in february and somehow got my number and pretty much stalked me. He lives in indiana. i live in ky.

But now everytime i go to his city i am REALLY cautious and dont do anything because i am afraid i will run into him.

And i met this new boy ty, and my brother is telling me we are related which trust me we are not. And i got really mad and went off and began crying and biting myself.

anytime someone brings up cousins or incest or anything like that i get sick at my stomach and begin crying because it brings up the bad memories that i have been tryin so hard to lock up.

Help me please :]

Hello,

I don't think you can lock up feelings. I try all the time to do that and I end up blowing up at anyone and everyone. I think that until you deal with it it's just going to be in the back of you're psyche. And that's no good because it will just keep coming back until it's put away the right way.
I think you should talk to your parents or someone in your family what happened. If you don't want to tell anyone in your family what happened. I'd also suggest going to a therapist. It might make you feel uncomfortable but they can help you sort through your feelings of anger and fear concerning your cousin

hope I helped.

:)

Q: Is it wrong to like a guy more...like this guy tyler has a girlfriend and all but he REALLY REALLY likes me and this kid was picking on him and hit him repeatedly and threatened to pull out a knife on him and his older brother tj beat that kid up and got put into a detention center. I just want to be there and hold tyler, but i cant. I feel like crying and this kind of makes me want tyler more.. but i told my friend ariel and she was just like i wouldnt like him because of it, and i didnt know you were serious... but

1.)why does it make me want him more??
2.)why do i want to be there with him and hold him and just comfort him??
3.)Why am i hurt by this??

thanks!!

Hello,
I think there's always a nurturing side to everyone that comes out when they see someone who is vulnerable. And especially when it's someone they care about. I think when you see someone like that you want to take care of them even more than you did before. I think you're hurt by this because it's like I said it's someone you care about. I know that if it were someone I cared about I would definitely feel the same way. It usually takes bad things to happen to realize how much we actually care about them.

Q: There's this guy at school I really like. He's a junior and I'm a sophomore. One problem... I'm a "good girl" and he's not a "bad boy" but he's pretty close. I'm a strong Christian and he won't even go to church. I know he has strong feelings for me too but he won't date me because he doesn't date "good girls". We're good friends and we talk a lot about getting together but he wants a lot more in the physical part than I'm willing to give. We talk about that a lot and he's always making jokes about wanting to do stuff with me that he knows I'd never do. He wants me to pretty much be a skank. :( I still really like him but I'm not really sure where to go with this... Any advice whatsoever would be helpful!! Should I pursue the relationship? Tell him how I feel? I'm so confused!!

If it were me I'd say nowhere unless you know you can keep yourself from being pushed into something you don't want to do. Once when I was a highschool fresheman a guy asked me out that I knew was trouble we didn't even have to talk for me to know he wanted sex. When he asked me out I said no and moved on. A week later he found a new girl and I was happy because I'd said no. Now I look back and don't regret my decision at all because I probably would have been pressured by something I didn't want to do. He Was really hot. :) but just no good.

Q: okay. Well you think we should try..
but here's something you didn't know
a couple weeks before this happened
he broke up with me right, so i left and about 4 hours later he called me back,telling me he made the biggest mistake ever, and he misses me so much and loves me so much, and wants me to come back,because he realised what he did was a mistake, so i went back and we were soo happy, and he told me he loves me and i'm the best thing, and promises he'll never do it again and a couple weeks went by and this happened, he did it again. like is it bad??
this is continuing from the last one i sent.. this is difficult. he told me " yes i know this doesnt feel right, but it's the right thing to do".. Like will time make him realise??i'm his first love and he's mine,but i can't give up yet. because we're suppose to be together. i know it! he tells me how amazing i am, and gorgeous and wonderful and so on, so like why doesnt he wanna b with me???

oh i see

I think maybe he's just confused because things are getting intense and he doesn't know which way to go. You're in high school right? then its probably likely that he's feeling like he wants to commit and at the same time he's not sure about wanting his freedom. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Because it sounds like loves you. I think you should talk to him and ask him what's confusing him and see if you can help him through it. Try to ease his fears. Don't give him an ultimatum but tell him that it hurts you when he breaks up with you on an off.

Q: Well me and my boyfriend broke up a few days ago and its been 8 months. And we were soo happy and we never fought once. I love him soo much and he told me he loves me and he'll never forget about me and im an amazing girl and any guys would be lucky to have me and so on.so we hung out for a couple of hours and it was the hardest thing ever. but we didnt break up because we cheated, or fought too much, or anything like that. we still love eachother very much, and have these strong feelings for eachother. its just we went to fast. and im thinking, like is it too late to fix. we can start from the start and go slow.He tells me he tries so hard to keep me off his mind, and when we see eachother and look in eachother's eyes, we get emotional. i just need to know, is it over? does he just want space, and then he'll realise what he did? do i move on? i'm so hurt here, i love him soo much, and he told me he loves me and he always will. And he wants s to be friends and still talk when we can?. but Will he realise his mistake?

I think you should get back together you both seem miserable. I think you should give it a chance and try to work things out. At least if you try to work things out and they don't work you can move on with the knowledge that you did the best you could.

Q: ok so i broke up w/ my bf recently and i really miss him and now him and my bff is about to dte him but i dont want to tell her wat do i do

You have to tell her. Unless you want to be completely miserable. And I also think you should talk to your boyfriend too. I hate to say it but it seems like the only way.

Q: I'm in grade 7 and my girlfriend and i have been going out for a few weeks but i don't know if she knows i really love her (which i do) so my friend and i was talking about it and he said one day at lunchtime i should kiss her(without her suspecting it) so that will show her love her...........but i don't know if she will be happy or just think i am a creep

P.S. on the day we started going out one of her/my friends said she wanted to know if i will kiss her.....her name is Brooke

Hey,

I think as a girl if my boyfriend and I were about to share our first kiss together. I would want to do it the way your friend suggested. Surprises are always nice and I wouldn't have to worry about if I'm doing it right. I wouldn't have the chance to be nervous. I don't know if she's like me but I don't think she'll think you're a creep. I mean you guys are dating. (if it was a random guy i would say that's creepy.) And plus she asked you guys' friend if you would kiss her.If you want to make sure it doesn't seem creepy just say something like. "I've been wanting to do that." I don't know if that's too cheesy for you but you can tweak the phrase to your liking. Just make sure you don't bash your teeth to hers. Make sure it's gentle. I mean this is the first kiss between you two. Just relax take a deep breath and go for it.

Q: 14/F

i have horiable study habits.

i pay attention and take noted in class. but i lose some of them. so the night before a test, i have my friends fax me over the ones i lost. then i have trouble paying attention to those! so i just read over each a couple of times, and get a C on every test!

im extra bad at diagrams. somtimes i dont even bother drawing them. they just dont click in my head.

im pretty sure i dont have a learning disability because i get straight As in my other classes (Bs somtimes) but im still not great at tests. usually i get B+ or A-. except math.

math and science are my main problems.

im starting high school next year, and i want to be able to get straight As. any advice? please help!

thanks so much

Hi,

I was always horrible at math. Like you I didn't do well with studying and a lot of it just didn't makes sense.Also just looking at the diagram meant nothing to me. What I did though to help was I made flash cards. For formulas that I couldn't remember and I made flash cards for them. Not only did I get practice writing them out. But I tested my self on how fast I could say which formula was which. If I didn't get it right then I put it to the bottom of the deck and go through the stack again. I also had my friends test me. I did diagrams too. I made the diagram on one side and put the name of it on the other. I'd study how each one looked for a few minutes and then I test my self to see if I did the names. For biology one time when I had a midterm. I had to identify a lot of words. I remember the word was mitochandria. I had been studying with my mom (with flash cards.) and I just couldn't get that word. So my mom made up a tune to go with it. The tune stuck really well so when I got to the test I hummed it in my mind and I got the question right. To this day i still remember that definition. : ) Also another things that works is trivia. You can either do this by yourself with a parent or with a group of friends for a study group. Make a board with categories of different subjects make them for different points and then get in teams and play. Have a parent ask the questions or maybe the other team. My teacher did this in history and I had fun and learned at the same time. If these don't work. Try a tutor or someone in your family or group of friends who's really good at math.

Q: Has anyone ever been scared of leaving school? After senior year, well i am scared. Because school is cool and i actually have a blast with all my friends and such. Im so scared of graduating, i feel like im going to get hurt.
does anyone know what im saying? or am i just overeacting?
thanks.

Hi,

Graduating can be tough. I know when I did I was so afraid. I wasn't in college and I didn't I wasn't happy with the career choice I made. I was just thinking everything is about to change and here I am without any knowledge of what to do with the rest of my life. And plus all of the fun I had will be over. It seems when we are in high school that things are so good that everything is so great I never want to leave. But when I graduated I breathed a sigh or relief. No more immaturity. No more people telling me what time to come in. There's less forced structure and more independence. I can start school three years from now if I choose and be anything. I can hang out with people I like and not have to worry about what's popular in clothes boys or classes. There's way less peer pressure because people out of high school have grown up a bit. It might seem like you want it all to be the same but. When you get out there and see the vast earth around you and opportunities you think. "What the heck have I been missing." Just keep your friends close and you'll at least be able to keep some of the good memories.

Q: i need help i dont have a very good grade in math and my dad used to be a math teacher and we fight about it every time i go to his house (my parents are divorced) and i just dont get it! could you help me on how to stay focused during class?! i dont sit by n e of my friends in that class so thats not the problem but im starting to make friends with the people around me i dont get in trouble for talking very much tho! just if you have any advice PLEASE any at all! help me!!

Thanks! =D

Ask your dad to help you when you go to his house. He's a math teacher. That's like a built in tutor.

bio

I'm Celeste. I'm really good at helping people and I give great advice. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
So if you need any help, just ask. If you wouldn't like to post your question here. Contact me with your question by email. I'm always checking my email so I'll be sure to get back to you. I'm very serious about the advice I give. I abhor people who give random unhelpful responses. So if you ask me a question I'll be sure to give you an answer that's relevant.

-Celeste-