Let's see, about me - I'm an educated (but lowly-degreed) 20-something woman living in South Florida. I am highly familiar with music, youth subcultures, and women's issues. I'm slightly familiar with American history, Electronics, Judaism, and India. I'm vaguely familar with...well...everything else. I love good food and drink, but indulge in it infrequently. Oh, and I'm Black (partial Jamaican heritage) for what it's worth. But most importantly, I'm pretty open-minded...so ask away!
Website: Shona's Porch
E-mail: Rishona@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Miami, FL
Occupation: real estate title
Age: 26
Yahoo: MissNiceness79
Member Since: October 16, 2003
Answers: 74
Last Update: July 21, 2006
Visitors: 8052
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Ok, I'll TRY to make this brief. There's this really great guy that's in my tech class and we've become pretty good friends. He's so sweet and really funny. He's a junior and I'm a sophmore. I've told him that I like him a while ago and he said that he just got out of a 3 year relationship and is "checking out the scenery". But lately he seems more interested. He jokes w/ me more, we've gone to a movie w/ 2 of my other friends, he always smiles and says HI in the halls, at my Halloween party he licked whipped creme off my chest, he hugs me goodbye (he gives the best hugs), and he's always really polite to me. The thing is though, he could just be a really friendly guy. Could he have changed his mind about not wanting a GF? Does he like me? I really like him and would LOVE to go out with him. I've been patient for a while but I don't want to wait forever. What's going on? Is this going anywhere?
Thanks for any advice, and sorry for the length! (link)
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I would try to reciprocate his hugs, touches, etc. with the same excitement you feel. It could be that he really does like you a lot, but memories from his last relationship are stopping him from "making that move", but once he gets really comfortable with you...it may be inevitable.
I'm sort of in a similar situation now. Except I really don't see the person in question that often. So my way of 'dealing' is to not shut the door to others who are interested in me. That way, I'm not obsessing over someone who may or may not want me. But if you think he's worth it...I would hold out a little longer. Most good things come with time anyway.
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why does god hate me?
(link)
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Learn to love yourself, and G-d will too.
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I have a friend who's about to be initiated into Wicca. I know what Wicca's about, and that's mainly why I've been hoping he wouldn't. He's getting initiated on Saturday, and I'm really worried. Is there anything I can do to talk him out of it in five days?!? (link)
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I've learned the hard way throughout life that you just can't change people who don't want to be changed. Tell him what you know, and what your concerns are, but that's really all you can do. I mean, really, really, REALLY try to convey your concern...but don't be too surprised if he doesn't see things your way immediately.
On the flip side, try to understand why he is attracted to Wicca in the first place; just to see where he's coming from. There are many things out there that are worse than Wicca (like the Ku Klux Klan) that he could be attracted to...so keep that in mind also.
The most important thing is to do all you can to not abandon him as a friend...in spite of his extracurricular activities...as long as they pose no direct threat to you. Perhaps this is a phase, and he'll get tired of it anyway. But ultimately, you can't control other people, and you often get disappointed when you try to.
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I'm dating a guy who's nice, but I'm just not feeling a "spark" or anything. We're comfortable together, that's all. Like really good friends. Is that enough for a lasting relationship? I'm just not the "fall head over heals" type. (link)
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Hurry! Break things off now and still remain friends! There really should be 'sparks'. Seriously. That being together just for the heck of it went out of style in the 19th century. When you're in love...you know. It may be 'comfortable', but it's not worth sacrificing a relationship that could be so much more.
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I am a news junkie, and I listen to NPR in the car instead of music. I've noticed that I am incredibly ignorant about music.
I want to seem hip about the music scene. How can I do this without actually dedicating my life to finding new music?
Love,
Sapphire (link)
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If the goal is to just find out about the 'newest' pop stuff, I would hit up the compilation section of Best Buy. The "Now.." series comes out about 2 or 3 times a year as a mix of the popular stuff that is topping the charts. But if you don't want to listen to the same thing a 16 year-old girl does, there are other options...
1) Read the music section in "New Times" or "City Link".
2) Watch VH-1 (mostly retro stuff, but some new bands get showcased)
3) Go to the All Books & Records shop in Searstown right where Federal meets Sunrise in Ft. Lauderdale and ask for suggestions from the short, young talkative guy
4) Check out the music section on Amazon.com. You can even check out sound samples
5) Ask your friends what they listen to.
6) Check out the Music section of MSN which is here: http://entertainment.msn.com/Music/Default.aspx?did=1&
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of brand-spanking new groups. Nothing is wrong with still digging whoever you used to love when you were younger. They don't seem to make music like they used to. Good luck...and you know where to find me if you have any more questions.
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I don't know why, but everywhere I go, Oompa Loompas follow me. They laugh and call me George. I've been thinking of flying away on my spaceship i.e. banana peel and going to live on the planet of cheese-in-a-can, but I'm not sure if they have cable there. Do you have any idea if the planet has cable, or if there is any way to avoid the Oompa Loompas? Please help, they already took my sanity! 'Twas all pink and sparkly! (link)
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I suggest you switch to a different LSD dealer. Or just give up the acid altogether (if you can't handle it) and start eating mushrooms instead.
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I want to dye my hair blue... no... I MUST dye my hair blue! bright blue! the problem is that I have dark hair and I've never dyed it before and I think I have to bleach it blonde first then dye it blue for the color to show up. Is that going to ruin my hair and make it all crackly and nasty? (link)
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Yes, you must bleach it first. If you want to assure that your hair comes through all the chemical processes relatively healthy, I would suggest going to a reputable hair salon/stylist. Don't feel weird; they'll do anything you pay them for just about. If you are female, I would strongly suggest this route because unlike a guy, you can't just wack it all off if it comes out bad (well you CAN, but...they just have more freedom). Trust me on this.
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i normally get my period every 21 days like clock work. I was supposed to have it 4 days ago and haven't gotten it yet. I'm really worried that something is going on. To be possibly pregnant right know would not be good. My parents would not take it well at all. Me either actually. I don't feel any different,except no period. Tell me what you think? (link)
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Sometimes women get symptoms of pregnancy shortly after conception, other times they don't. They could be (but are not limited to) tender breasts, light pink/brown spotting (implantation bleeding), changes in appetite, nausea, and fatigue. The only way to really be sure is to buy a pregnancy test. The sooner you find out, the better. Early on, you still have many options. But as the weeks pass...well you know. So don't let fear stop you from taking that test. Good luck hun!
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Lately I've become very emotional about stupid stuff (crying, screaming, etc) my mom has been calling me a bitch and my dad just doesn't like to be around me, which I can understand - I don't want to be around myself either. I dislike being around my parents - they ask stupid stuff, and just won't leave me alone. My doctor also thinks I have depression. What can I do to make myself a better person to be around? lately I've just been biting people's heads off - and I honestly don't mean to. HELP!!!! (link)
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What makes you happy? What makes you physically feel good? True, it sounds like you may need some professional therapy, but in the meantime, try to concentrate on doing things you enjoy, being around people that make you feel good. Do what you can to draw positive energy towards you. Personally, I'm against those 'wonder drugs' for depression like Prozac and Zoloft; but that's just me.
Try to smile and feel better. You're not alone; and not everyone hates you...including your parents.
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A friend of mine is getting married in a few months, and all she talks about is her freaking wedding. She's so annoying I just want to smack her. Some of our other friends feel the same way, others are all into this wanting to help plan and decorate and buy pretty white crap that I can't get excited about at all, because I'm just not a pretty white crap kinda girl.
She used to be so cool and normal, we'd talk about what was going on in the world, fun weekend activities, etc. Now she's wedding 24/7. What's wrong with her? How do I shake her out of cinderella land and get my friend back? (link)
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Try to be a tad bit more understanding; I mean, really! A wedding is (suppossed to be) a once in a lifetime thing. Of COURSE she's excited, of COURSE it's all she talks about. It's healthy, it's normal, it's the way people are.
So relax, after she walks down the aisle, it may get better, it may not. Maybe then she'll start talking about married life and babies all the time. Oh, and the same thing happens when they get pregnant too; they start talking about aching breasts and water retention incessantly.
Sad to say, but people (and their priorities) change as we get older and move throughout certain stages in our life. Some people change more than others. There's really nothing you can do about it because everyone handles it differently. True friends understand that while their level of day to day interaction and emotional exchange my increase or decrease over time, they will always be there for each other no matter what - and that is what's really important anyway.
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I have been divorced for almost a year, and have been seeing a guy from work for almost a year, but used to he would always want to be around me, touch me etc., now i almost have to force him to do anything. he says he still has the same feelings for me and the thing is that when we get into an arguement he always tells me to shut up, that I am f-ing stupid, or go to He@@. He always opologizes and I know he has had a really rough childhood, both parents dying, his dad shot his mom right in front of him and his grandad used to beat him, I can deal with thie emotional rollercoaster with him anymmore, should i try to work it out or kick him out?????
(link)
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Oh wait, let me get out my violin here. Ok, so what gives him the right to make you suffer because of his bad past? Please. Drop the zero and get with a hero. Corny but true; you deserve better...don't you think?
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Being of a very scientific bent, I'd like to go to college at a technical school. However, every one of these school I read about seems very traditional, with sororities, fraternities, and lots of drinking. They never talk about how liberal the student body is or how much activism there is on campus. Do you know of any quirky, liberal technical schools with character, preferably somewhere in or around the northeast? (link)
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Well I don't know about it's polictical/activist atmosphere, but Pennsylvania College of Technology doesn't have fraternities or sororities (to my knowledge). It's a satellite school of Penn State. Check out their website at www.pct.edu.
Just because a college has Greeks (fraternities & sororities) doesn't mean it's not liberal and activist though. In college, you have the ability to carve out your own niche along with others. For example, Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA (www.cmu.edu) has fraternities and sororities...but they do not dominate the school's persona. CMU is still very liberal, very artsy, and well...very 'nerdy' (a compliment of course!) in spite of the Greeks. There are even some Greeks that are techy...like Alpha Sigma Kappa which is a sorority for women in technology studies (there website is here: http://www.alpha-sigma-kappa.org ).
Just about any college offers a myraid of opportunities to do you own thing. Good luck in your quest!
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I just got a new job and the health care system is weird. I can choose to either pay $30 a month or $15 a month. If I pay $30 a month, the company pays for all my health care over $1600, if I spend more than that in the year. If I pay $15 a month, the company doesn't start paying until after $2800. I'm healthy and don't think I'll need more than $1600 for the year, so I think I might go with the cheap plan and save on my monthly payments. But I'll be screwed if something happens to me, like I fall off a bridge and need $4000 surgery, because I'll have to spend $2800 total instead of $1600. What would you do? (link)
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If you can afford it, go with the $30/mo plan. Better to be safe than sorry.
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I have a full time job, required to pay the bills, and would like to complete a meaningful degree before I die. What is the best course of action to land me a degree as a personal accomplishment? (link)
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First of all, look at local schools to see if they offer night and/or weekend classes in courses you would be interested in taking. Then look into online courses (I've taken about 4 of these, with only 1 being really good, 1 being ok, and the other 2 sucking. Just seemed like to much money to pay to browse the internet and read some textbooks) which I don't really recommend...but do what you have to do. Second of all, try to find programs in which you can recieve credit for job (or even life) experiences; you'll reduce the time and money needed to complete your degree. And finally, try to meet up with some people who are in a similar situation. Many community colleges and even more traditional university have campus organizations for older, non-traditional students. It helps to know you're not alone. Be persistent, and you can achieve any goal.
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I have to drink coffee every day to survive. I don't drink a ton of it, probably two cups a day in the morning. My friends and I used to have a day we'd call "detox thursday" where we wouldn't drink coffee all day, but I was starting to hate detox thursdays because I felt tired and grumpy all day so I quit doing it with them. Does this mean I'm addicted? Is coffee really that bad for me? It's way better than soda, right? (link)
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ANYTHING that you either take in excess or that you feel you 'need' is bad for you. It signals an addiction. I have no real suggestion as to what you can do to get over it. I will say that I would think that soda is a bit more sociable...in that it doesn't stain you teeth (although it's bad for them), give you a bad breath odor, or require some funky looking cup or mug to drink the stuff out of. And you'll still get your caffeine.
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my friends are telling me I shouldn't even try to be friends with my ex boyfriend because that never works, but I think it can sometimes. what do you think? (link)
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It can work; until one of you picks up another boyfriend/girlfriend. Then things will start to get weird. Trust me. Sometimes, it's better just to count the loss and move on.
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I'm on my period and have really awful cramps. What's the best drug to take? Aspirin? Tylenol? I'm tempted to just take them all. (link)
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The best over the counter drug to take in my experience is Motrin. Alleve is ok too. Then Advil (in that order of effectiveness).
Perhaps you should see your doctor about going on the pill though. That was the only thing that knocked my cramps out entirely. I hear that is the case with some other women as well.
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but what i wrote is not all. the other thing is that my parents have no idea i even like him and being the typical asian parents, if they ever found out they'd never let me go to church again. or a least not that one. (link)
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Huh? Where is the first part of the question? Please, please, PLEASE read Spacefem's disclaimers before posting. I believe she said something about not submitting until the question is just they way you want it (because it cannot be edited). I'm sure I'm not the only one who is lost. Try reposting the entire question as one post in order to get the help you're looking for.
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sometimes i feel like my weight is getting to high ...although everone tells me i am not fat i feel it and i dont want it! i cant go running i never am able to keep it up....i cant help my self to foodS! i crave easy how can i solve this without those traits! (link)
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Start with cutting down your portions. Like when you go to McDonalds or what not, don't super size your meal. Or better yet, just get 1 little cheeseburger. When you get comfortable with that, then start substituting. Instead of a candy bar, eat a granola bar (w/chocolate chips! still high in fat, but at least you get fiber), when going to a restaurant order a gourmet salad w/chicken or steak instead of an entree. Also try to incorporate some water into your daily routine. The more you use fat-free, calorie-free water to quench your thirst, the less you'll use soda to quench your thirst. Good luck!
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I'm an athiest, but i don't try to force people to believe what I believe. I don't challenge other people's beliefs. I've had this one guy bother me for 5 years about being an athiest. (I go to a PK-12 school distict). He's always asking me why I'm not religious, why I don't believe in God, etc, ect, and so on. i've done everything I can think of, including inflicting bodily harm on him (well - I dropped a book on his head. But I don't even think that hurt him) but he won't stop. how do I stop him? (link)
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5 years! I would report him to the administration at this point. You shouldn't have to fight him alone. You have the right to believe what you want and not be harassed; and it is their responsibility to insure that.
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